advice regarding cot death

First of all , my sympathy on your sad loss. However long ago dies not diminish the tragedy
The thinking behind SID (sudden infant death) has changed since our day however.
Babies must be put down on their backs, their feet should be at the bottom of their cot so they can’t wriggle down, they should be breast fed if possible, be put in a baby bag to sleep not under blankets and duvets, but most of all, they should not get too warm
You could google SID if she has not done so already but I expect her ante-natal classes, whether NCT or hypnobirthing will be addressing the issue if they have not done so already
As Grans we fear it every bit as much as mums, and in your case all the more so because you have known the dreadful pain. Thankfully it is quite rare, but who among us has not “poked the baby to make sure he is breathing” ?

I am so sorry for your loss.

Have you tried some counseling to deal with your anxiety and loss?
The last thing you want is to worry your dd unnecessarily.

The Lullaby Trust have excellent information. www.lullabytrust.org.uk

Another vote here for the Lullaby Trust. They are the go-to experts. The rate of SIDS (cot deaths) have reduced hugely thanks to this organisation and people like Anne Diamond.

I’m so sorry that you had that experience yourself Squidley.

You might be told by some ‘I did it this way and mine were fine’. well bully for them. But follow the Safe Sleep and other advice from the experts x

squidley - so sorry for your loss. No matter how many years go by the death of a child of any age is so very, very hard.
The coming birth of a lovely g.daughter has obviously brought to the fore so many of your feelings, which you have hidden over the years.
MawB2's post gives a lot of the current knowledge and advice and this has helped to prevent this happening to many babies,.
Do try not to pass on your fears to your daughter - I am sure you are aware as to how important it is for her to enjoy the wonderful experience of having and caring for her first child.
Try to relax and enjoy your new g.daughter (when she arrives), those early weeks and months pass so quickly and, on no time, she will be running around and demanding you to read her stories for the umpteenth time.

I am so sorry. I admire you for keeping your fears behind closed doors and you have already been pointed in the direction of sound advice. May I add that some of the sleeping bags are not safe. There have been warnings in the last few days. Also no smoking is a must.
Come back and tell us when the baby has arrived and you have had that first cuddle.

Squidly I’m so very sorry you lost your precious baby to SIDS. It’s so cruel.

I understand your concern for your dd, though I sometimes think we do the worrying so our children don’t have to.

The causes of SIDS are better understood nowadays and thankfully the incidence today is much reduced from when mine were young, when I knew several mums who’d lost babies.

Others have mentioned the excellent Lullaby Trust, and you might find contacting them would help reassure you as to what measures can be taken to make it as safe as possible for a baby. My own children have all had copious information from their midwives and health visitors so it’s very likely your dd will also get that.

You probably know anyway but in addition to MawB’s list, the use of alcohol, illegal drugs and smoking are all risk factors, as is sleeping in a chair with a baby. These are all things that can be mitigated so it’s as safe as possible for a new baby.

Best wishes. X

thank you so much to everyone who has posted comments;
I rang the lullaby trust this afternoon and had a chat with a lovely lady; she is going to arrange for me to have a 'befriender' who is also a grandparent and lost a child of her own to cot death; the lullaby trust have also said that I can ring them again if there is anything I'm worried about to talk it through with them, so I don't have to express any worries to my daughter. thanks again for all your support

What an amazing idea!

That sounds very comforting, Squidley. You are not alone.