Am I Embarrassing?

I think that so many parents stress the ‘don’t speak to strangers’ theme that even small children refuse to acknowledge a smile or Hello, even if they know me.

I used to be painfully shy as a child and teenager and it was agonising to be obliged to speak to any of my parents friends or friends parents! So I probably came across as rude! mumbling away with down cast eyes. My parents would brook no hint of bad manners, and I would have been in hot water if I had ignored anyone When out especially an elder!
Eldest DD used to find me intolerably embarrassing and used to insist we didn’t walk together! Her most mortifying moment though was when she was aged 15 and a brother of a girl in her year (aged 19 )admitted to her that he fancied me ? unbelievably gross apparently ?

When my son was a teenager I was driving him to the shops. As we pulled up he yelled "drive on". Why? Because his mates were standing outside and he didn't want to be seen with his mother. Teenage insecurity.

It's just you. It's hardly 'behaviour'

No, normal these days. My youngest son asked that I wouldn't look at him in the street and if he wanted to say hi or talk to me he would initiate the exchange. I admit I was older than almost all the other parents (had him very late) and could easily have been his grandparent but thinking back, it's how I wish it had been with my parents and grandparents when I was that age.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

That's just typical.teenage behaviour I'm afraid and teenagers behaved like that in the 1970s and 1980s so it's not new!

Unless something about you could be considered "cool", being seen speaking to you would be regarded by any self-respecting young teenager as distinctly "uncool", a stigma very hard to shake off.

Don't take it personally.

Not at all Calendargirl! It's not you but part of being a teenager. I remember my son siting on a difgernt seat on the bus even when we got on together. Also walking on the otjet side of the street if he was woth his friends, eyes cast down and if I'd had the audacity to call or wave....well. He was lovely kind and chatty when the pals weren't there lol.

Surely you remember when you used to walk down the road holding onto one of your parents hands ? One day you see someone who you knew from school , and you suddenly dropped your hand so not to look a baby. I know I did , and can also remember my own children doing it to me . It is just a rite of passage to growing up.

I remember going out for a morning of shopping with my daughter when she was 13 and being ordered to walk behind her because I was 'too embarrassing' and one of her friends might see her with me!

Teenagers in groups are not all equal.
A shy teenager who isn't one of the 'cool' ones in the group may be very wary of doing anything that might cause teasing from the others.

oh gosh, my 11 year old soon to be 12 year old gd waves madly at me if I go by, (not very often) even if with a crowd of other friends..

and my 14 year old gs, is also the same... older gs,, similarly.

I don't think this has anything to do with the fact that times change.

I remember behaving exactly like this young girl, at her age.

I was too embarrassed to greet my parents' friends and acquaintances in the street, and embarrassed not to do so, as I knew I was being impolite, but I couldn't conquer my shyness and speak to them.

Say hello to her next time, if she is like me, she will find it easier to return a greeting than to have to make one.

Don't worry. It's just an adolescent thing. It's not done to be seen fraternising with older people - no matter how much they like you.

Yes,once they get out of teenage years, most 'kids' transform to 'normal' speaking mode, but some still struggle with this if they have underlying issues, so please dont assume theyre just rude, its best to just give them an encouraging (silent) smile & walk on, they may one day realise the worlds not such a 'scary' place after all, but to some of them, it is.?

geekesse
I've had similar encounters. In the 80s and 90s I worked in local playgroups. The last job I had before I retired was in the local Jobcentre taking new benefit claims and I often had young people (20 somethings) sit in front of me and say they remembered me teaching them at playgroup. Did make me feel old sometimes but I obviously made some sort of impression on them.

Your wrong caragran, & juicylucy, my children HAVE been brought up with manners, as are my GC, but some kids these days are shy, and wouldnt speak to people not family, without their parents, some struggle with ASD issues, so wont speak to anyone, but look perfectly like a 'usual teenager' to rest of the world! Please dont make assumptions! I remember at that age we'd be out with friends and sometimes smile if i passed a neighbour, but not speak to them! Things arent like the war& post war years now, young 'uns just don't communicate with friends of their parents as they used to in those days

Oopsminty- especially my mother! In my 40s my old school had a centenary celebration. I arranged to go with a friend. My mother was very interested but it was an Old Girls event.
I was shocked to see a lively, chatty, older lady being shown around by a 6th former.
‘I left the high school in 1925’ she was explaining.
Oh, mother! She went to a completely different high school in another county far away. My friend, who knew her of old, and I turned, and went the other way. She already given us a triumphant grin!
I must admit now to admiring her cheek and she'd had a lovely afternoon!

Yeah, if i had to go into his school for anything (hand in a form, sort out any arrangements for appts,etc if bell went& my son appeared he would pass by as though he didn't know me at that age! Same if i was on bus (downstairs) from town, he'd sail straight past with his mates& go sit upstairs!

I don’t think it should be expected as normal no matter what age. These teenagers have different age groups in there own families and I’m sure they don’t ignore them. Luckily my gds are always polite to there elders and do acknowledge them even when they are with there friends.

Don't worry
They have probably not been taught manners by their parents. Just pla9 ignorant.

Only to teenagers

Yes. You are very embarrassing.
If she was alone maybe not.

Teenager. That is what they do.