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Sorry need to vent

(21 Posts)
ninathenana Sun 13-Sep-20 10:28:16

Briefly DGSx2 live alternate weeks with DD and their father who lives 30min drive away from DD. They moved to this area just as lockdown started so consequently were not on a local school roll.
Their father declared he would sort out schools. He left it until last week 😡 So now one GS is at a school 10 mins from him. The other still hasn't got a confirmed place but will likely end up at a school 30mins from him, so 1 hr from DD.
How the heck does DD manage a 2hr round trip for school run twice a day and be able to work. It wood be the same sort of timings for me and I really don't want to do it.
Their father works nights and has people who can help with pick ups. If he'd got his finger out the older one would be going to the senior site round the corner from youngest.
Sorry just needed to get that off my chest.

Namsnanny Sun 13-Sep-20 10:35:27

I'm not surprised you wanted to get that off your chest ninathenan, I'd be pretty angry angry too.

Very thoughtless behaviour on fathers part.

Calendargirl Sun 13-Sep-20 10:35:30

DD should probably have sorted it herself. I would have given him a chance to get it done, but would have stepped in ages ago when it was obvious he hadn’t bothered.

Hindsight being a wonderful thing of course.

Grandmabatty Sun 13-Sep-20 10:47:21

It is such a difficult position for your daughter to have been put in. If it was down to him, then she was damned if she asked him what he had done. I can imagine accusations of nagging. And now she's stuck in a difficult situation. I take it, it wouldn't go down well if she tried to get a place closer?

kittylester Sun 13-Sep-20 10:56:28

Why am I not surprised nina.

NotSpaghetti Sun 13-Sep-20 11:27:52

As the mother I'd contact the local education authority to see what might be done. They will maybe have a better suggestion - she should point out that the travel for the child is excessive.
They may go for that...

I would have been reluctant to let someone else organise this without my input but obviously she felt he was reliable so now is in a mess.

EllanVannin Sun 13-Sep-20 12:07:31

I'd go along with what NotSpaghetti said.

ninathenana Sun 13-Sep-20 12:13:40

Calendargirl DD really wanted to do it herself ad told him she would but father insisted he was doing it. He is such a control freak she was scared of losing contact as he has done this in the past for months at a time when "she has gone behind his back"

ninathenana Sun 13-Sep-20 12:21:03

She was scared to rock the boat. ( see my previous post) Its his way or no way. He doesn't even answer her greeting when she drops the GC back to him. They just about communicate via e-mail.

Exactly kitty 😟

NotSpaghetti Sun 13-Sep-20 12:21:31

There will be a route to challenge schools allocated. It’s years since I did this but the challenge has to be in the best interests of the child.

She needs to think of all the ways a more local school is best.

Calendargirl Sun 13-Sep-20 12:33:57

ninathenana

Calendargirl DD really wanted to do it herself ad told him she would but father insisted he was doing it. He is such a control freak she was scared of losing contact as he has done this in the past for months at a time when "she has gone behind his back"

I can see how difficult it must have been for her, not wanting to rock the boat and make things worse, but wanting to sort it herself.

How maddening.

Summerlove Sun 13-Sep-20 12:43:31

ninathenana

Calendargirl DD really wanted to do it herself ad told him she would but father insisted he was doing it. He is such a control freak she was scared of losing contact as he has done this in the past for months at a time when "she has gone behind his back"

Lose contact with the children?

kittylester Sun 13-Sep-20 15:35:04

That is probably what nina meant. I think that has happened before.

Amma11 Sun 13-Sep-20 16:09:22

Hi all,
I'm new here.
My other half made reference the other evening to his being busy with My grandson.
Really left me feeling not ok with the comment,
When I addressed the incident, his reply was its true its your daughter's son.
Feeling frustrated & let down is putting it mildly, especially when we have taken this little monkey on fulltime for a spell while my daughter figures her life out..
Found this site while looking for support.
Thanks for listening ❤

ninathenana Sun 13-Sep-20 16:57:37

Summerlove yes he denied her contact with the children because she couldn't be trusted

Namsnanny Sun 13-Sep-20 18:32:24

Welcome Amma11 ... If you put your post on a new thread, you will probably get more response. flowers

That sounds awful for DD ninathenana

Amma11 Sun 13-Sep-20 22:03:43

----

Amma11 Sun 13-Sep-20 22:07:02

It's ok...
Think I just needed to vent get it off my chest,
Thank you Namsnanny for responding 🙏 😊

GrandmaKT Sun 13-Sep-20 22:34:28

ninathenana, you mention the older GS could have gone to the senior site round the corner. Does this mean he is (or hopefully will be) at senior school? If so, surely he can go by himself? Or maybe you mean Junior school? I know some areas have separate infant and junior schools...

ninathenana Mon 14-Sep-20 07:55:22

GrandmaKT
Yes, he is 11 and starting senior school. If he attends the school 30min drive from his father's he would have a bus ride to the train station and then the train. A bit much for an 11 y.o. by himself as he knows nobody to go with.
If his father had secured him a place at the school near his brother's primary, then yes he could have walked himself there.

GrandmaKT Mon 14-Sep-20 10:04:17

What a pain! I presume they have appealed to the school they want? Having said that, an 11 year old should be capable of that journey and I'm sure he'll meet up with others soon enough.