Feeling inhibited

Can’t you go outside the house for a walk or sit in the park? I’m often Whatsapping with my GD in the garden.

Yes I too like privacy with my phone calls. If DH is in the room, even watching tv, he is listening in and giving his opinions or saying ‘ tell them about ...... or ask them .......... I go to another room but sometimes he looks in and stays for a few minutes. Very off-putting.

My wife would say: "I'm talking about you, darling, not to you." But we know each other well enough to understand the mischief of that remark.

Can you not resume the lunches in person?

I chat to my sister every week, on the phone. I always go in another room and shut the door. We aren’t talking about anything confidential, but DH would think it’s silly conversation, e.g. what we’ve watched on tv, the obituaries in the local paper, whether it looks a good washing day.....yes, we live a fascinating life!

Doodledog I wish my husband was so understanding. It's not as if we don't love our husbands. We do - only it's so inhibiting not to be able to talk freely.
We only talk about banal things too, and I actually feel quite guilty, because DH doesn't have any friends of his own, except for our family.
There's nothing I can do about it of course. Just needed a rant, and thanks for your support!

Can't you just ask him to take himself off to the bedroom or kitchen while you have the Zoom conversation? Tell him you find it uncomfortable to chat while he's present.

I completely understand, if that helps. I speak to a friend in Scotland every Sunday evening, but if my husband is around I can't have a natural conversation, even though most of what we talk about is fairly banal - 'have you decorated the bathroom yet?' sort of thing.

It's not that I have secrets from my husband, or that I confide anything particularly personal in my friend, but I can't relax if he's there, for reasons I can't really explain.

Similarly,I have weeks Zoom meetings to discuss poetry, which is an interest of mine (we used to meet in a discussion group, but clearly that doesn't happen just now), and I feel the same about those. My husband isn't interested, and wouldn't even listen in, but just having him in the room is, as you say, inhibiting.

Luckily, my husband understands and takes himself off when it's time for the call or the meeting.