Husband won't accept 'charity'

NI payments are another tax and whilst they do not fully fund benefits, they do go towards benefits and services:

the NHS
the State Pension
unemployment benefits
sickness and disability allowances.

Other taxation funds these benefits too.
If you have paid tax and NI there is no need to feel guilty whatsoever or that this is charity, ExD, if you come into the parameters for AA.

Not related of course

M0nica

Suziewoozie well that blows a hole in this thread. The OP's husband considers that AA is charity. You have just confirmed he is right.

I doubt there is anyone on here, resident in the UK, who has not paid NICs or has an entitlementto NICS benefits through a spouse.

No it’s not charity - it’s funded by taxation which we all pay. But it’s related to NIC that’s all I wanted to make clear. Me if I were advising someone reluctant, I’d muddy the water by muttering about NI snd tax. Are free prescriptions charity btw ? That’s another argument that could be used.

All that matters is that ExD gets the help she needs and is entitled too.

Monica, thank you for your excellent and succint explanations.

Suziewoozie well that blows a hole in this thread. The OP's husband considers that AA is charity. You have just confirmed he is right.

I doubt there is anyone on here, resident in the UK, who has not paid NICs or has an entitlementto NICS benefits through a spouse.

ga but it’s not true is it? National Insurance is nothing at all to do with AA. Taxes pay for AA. NI entitles you to benefits which need NICs like SP. I suppose if what you said encouraged people to apply then it was a good thing but I wouldn’t want anyone to think that AA depended on your NIC record ( or indeed anything else other than your established needs).

I come across this problem very often in my work. I explain that National INSURANCE payments work in the same way as any other type of insurance. If something is damaged or broken the insurance company pays back the cost from the amounts you've paid in insurance premiums over the years. In your situation you would simply be claiming payments from (national) insurance that you and your husband have been paying into for the whole of your working lives.

ExD, the advisor in Age UK was, in fact, right, once you get AA you can spend it on anything you like, including help in the garden.

It goes back to the point I made in my last email. It is a question of probles and solutions. Getting help in the garden is the solution to you needing help because you are disabled, which the problem. The AA form is all about the problems. They are uninterested in and will ignore any solutions you put on your form.

So fill the form in describing the problem - that you have severe arthritis, multiple sclerosis, COPD, whatever the cause of your disability is. The decision about getting AA will depend on that and when the first payment goes into your bank account, ring up a gardener.

Obviously I got it wrong - it was the young lady from AgeUK who helped me get my parking pass who offered to fill the form in for me.
She said was there anything else I was struggling with, and I said - yes, the garden - so she said did I get AA because that was what it was for. DH disagreed.
Obviously we were wrong.
End of!
I won't be applying.
Thanks for your input everyone.

PS and Suziewoozie

I agree with Monika and Chewbacca. The other objections are emotional reactions.

Alexa You are completely wrong. The reason that recipients aren't told what the money is to be spent on is because people's conditions are so variable and often there is very little they can do to improve the situation.

If you are crippled with arthritis and in constant pain, there is very little a carer can do to help you, but if the AA can pay to replace the curtains your sheltered flat came with and you hate, with some that you like, it does a lot to make life better for you, because when you are racked with pain and trying to watch television, to not have curtains you hate in full sight does so much to lift your spirits and maintain your mental health. The same thing applies to the examples I gave above of a lonely old man living in one room with severe arthritis. He bought a tv with a remote control, fish and chips once a week and a neighbour put a bit of money on the horse for him each weekend, which meant he had three visitors during the week, all of whom would spend time talking and chatting to him and it broke up his solitude.

No one knows what the home conditions are of people on AA, what help they need that will make life better, so if having a gardner in, or a cleaner or whatever helps then that is what the money should be spent on - and by not tying strings to AA, that is exactly what the government intended.

Just a few top-of-my-head random thoughts about disability for Alexa and the associated financial, emotional, practical, psychological costs
- always needing to use a car/taxi, not able to walk instead or use public transport ( despite my taxes going to subsidising railways, buses etc)
- not having full choice of where to go on a holiday and take advantage of many deals
- not being able to fully use all local facilities, attractions for days/trips out ( despite paying full NT membership , taxes etc that maintain properties and facilities I can’t fully access)
- nearly always have to plan so much more carefully for anything I want to do, lack of spontaneity, anxiety factor in going somewhere new
- loss of independence and having to rely on others ( no matter how loving and kind they are)
- I won’t go into issues of pain, suffering, loss of dignity, privacy as I think this list is enough for you to go away and think about for now

It also demonstrated a lack of compassion, Chewy.

Alexa

It is immoral to claim for free personal care if you intend to spend the money on maintaining a tidy garden.

But what if, Alexa, the Attendance Allowance claimant is completely housebound, disabled and their one source of joy is their garden. The love their garden and have always spent a great deal of time, energy and money in creating it as haven of beauty that gives them immense pleasure. But their disability means that they can no longer do what's needed to keep it maintained and so they choose to spend the Attendance Allowance on that. Who are you to judge what is important for the claimant? Who made you the arbiter of what's immoral or necessary? Your post demonstrated an ignorance or lack of comprehension as to what disability actually means. Please, educate yourself.

Alex, as a previous poster said, Walk in my shoes.
What an unkind post.

Alexa

It is immoral to claim for free personal care if you intend to spend the money on maintaining a tidy garden.

I take it you have no damn idea of what beng disabled means? How dare you lecture disabled people (or their carers) on morality or what to spend their money on. I’ve been wondering about claiming AA and you’ve made up my mind for me. If I get it, I’ll spend it on designer gin ? It should just about cover a bottle a week. ?

Alexa - I am assuming you have never been in this situation. In order to be so judgemental you need either to be a saint and beyond reproach, or to have walked this miserable path.

Let me spell it out - having a cleaner or a gardener frees up the carer to deal with personal care. Got it now?

Exactly what aggie said.

It's that sort of attitude, alexa, that prevents people accessing the help they need and to which they are entitled.

Alexa you are incorrect and judgmental. My OH claimed this benefit because his medics told him to , at the time he could just about wash and dress but with me hovering in the area . This meant I couldn’t get on with my usual tasks . The money went into our joint account so was spent on a cleaner once a week , if we had had a garden it would have gone on help with that
Do you think I should have added to my exhaustion by doing all myself ?
Walk in my shoes

Alexa, why is it immoral? The op needs help and is entitled to choose the way the help should be directed.

It is immoral to claim for free personal care if you intend to spend the money on maintaining a tidy garden.

I'd say the issue is you need help in the garden. If he doesn't want you to claim AA then he can pay for the gardener out of his (your) own money.

I wouldn't even argue about the AA. I'd just tell him that you can no longer do the garden and what would he suggest as a solution.

Advice I’ve seen (when applying for AA) says to describe needs on the worst day (or night) i.e. not to gloss over anything.

Indeed so M0nica - anything to do with gardening and domestic help is not included on the form, but in practice, having established a need for personal care, the way it is spent to assist in providing that care is not monitored in any way.

I must have filled in several hundreds of these forms over my career, and the wording is key. In my experience everyone understates their case, usually because some of the ways they get around their problems have become so much a part of ordinary life for them.

The repetitive nature of the answers is extremely tedious, but repeating oneself on the form is inevitable because of the nature of the questions.

The AA my OH received was invaluable in helping me to keep him at home as long as possible.