Our DS is recently divorced - it’s an amicable split and he and his ex even recently went on vacation together with their four-year-old son. DS lives with us, she lives a mile away and our DGS goes back and forth frequently between the two houses. DS has been going to her house nightly so they can put DGS to bed together. Unfortunately, DS has clinical depression. He sees a psychiatrist and takes meds, however, he’s been out of work since May and just got turned down for a job he really hoped to get since it was with the agency who had to terminate his contract due to the pandemic. He is devastated and when he gets like this he sinks into a very deep depression. I have a good relationship with his ex and we communicate everyday about schedules for child care which I frequently provide, etc. I’m very fond of her but I’ve lived long enough to learn not to trust people. Since this latest setback, DS has not been going over to do the usual bedtime routine and he is feeling so negative about himself that he feels he’s not able to be a good dad when he’s in this state. I am very worried that his ex will use these episodes (there have been a few in the last four years, one of which precipitated a month long stay in a residential facility) to bar him from his child, gain full custody, etc. I’ve shared this caution with our DS, urged him to follow the routine, etc. but given how he feels and how he feels about himself he still is reluctant to spend time with his son believing that his sadness will affect him, that his son is “better off without him.” My DH has stage 4 lung cancer and is quite enervated, both physically and mentally, so he isn’t a lot of help. So basically I live with two grown men who are immobilized for different reasons - one physical and one psychological. I realize a lot of this is simply out of my control but i am so worried.