Gransnet forums


Feel like an old fogey.

(56 Posts)
felice Tue 13-Oct-20 10:46:31

I am a member of a Ladies group here which has over 2000 members.
Over the last few months I and others have had to point out to people the rules regarding Covid here.
One young woman wanted to go to the coast for the day and invited 3 others to join her, myself and another Woman pointed out that that is impossible and quite foolhardy.
Yesterday a Woman posted that she wanted to go Trick or Treating with her 8 year old son, she had flour and water bombs ready and does anyone want to join her!!!
I told her it is not tradition here, and at the moment definately a big no no.
Also that throwing stuff at people in a Country which has had serious terrorist attacks could get her arrested.
She says if she get a small fine for causing disruption that is not a problem to her. What a great example to her Son.
Others have also pointed out that she cannot go round ringing peoples doors just now, anyway the Belgians are not into that.
Schools are having class parties, and possibly families too.
Now I feel like the Grinch 'old Lady spoiling the Childrens fun'.
This lady has been here 1 year me 25.
Am I wrong in saying anything or should I just have let her get arrested??????

grannylyn65 Tue 13-Oct-20 10:49:56

Keep your own counsel

Parsley3 Tue 13-Oct-20 10:54:04

You and others have, quite rightly, told her so she knows. If she chooses to disregard the advice, then so be it. You can do no more.

Whingingmom Tue 13-Oct-20 10:54:42

I think you’re quite right to challenge people. Too many think the rules don’t apply to them. That’s why we are in the mess we are.

PinkCakes Tue 13-Oct-20 10:55:01

I think you should do what you believe to be right, but let other people do whatever they like - and suffer the consequences. In short, keep yourself to yourself.

WOODMOUSE49 Tue 13-Oct-20 11:00:17

I would say something and do. I'm so fed up with those flouting the rules. I think of those that would suffer the consequences of such foolish behaviour.

Only exception would be yes to the school parties for children only. No families invited.

henetha Tue 13-Oct-20 11:03:20

It''s people who ignore the rules who are helping to spread this beastly virus. So I think you did right.

felice Tue 13-Oct-20 11:04:35

I do not intend to report her or anything like that, I just wish people would check the cultures of Countries they move to and not assume everyone wants to do the same as they do.
The 1st of November is a public holiday here when families go to place flowers on the graves of relatives, also all the shops are closed too. Well they are on Sundays anyway.
Looking at the recent posts There seems to be a lot of agreement with me, we shall see.

felice Tue 13-Oct-20 11:07:21

Our lockdown is strict just now, so probably not a good idea anyway.
Stay at home, why do some people think they are above the law. Rhetorical question.

Alexa Tue 13-Oct-20 11:14:03

Felice I take it this "Ladies group" has no rules against idiots joining .

felice Tue 13-Oct-20 11:42:10

Unfortunately you don't know who they are until the daft ideas appear, one woman in the middle of the lockdown wanted to start meet ups in each others homes, the hostess cooking a dinner from her own country. Then the guests would host the same the following weeks, she got very annoyed when the moderators pointed out that it was impossible.
It is a good group as we have a lot of people here alone, they don't want to sit in pubs but want to make new friends outside work.
I have made some good friends and had nice days out with DGS with other children, but not just now.

Fennel Tue 13-Oct-20 17:39:14

Felice interesting that you live in Belgium. I have a friend here (UK) whose daughter lives in Belgium. Sadly widowed (not from covid) a few years ago with 3 young children.
Belgium doesn't seem to have a good record for controlling the virus so I agree with you . I would be shocked too.

EllanVannin Tue 13-Oct-20 18:16:34

Lock yourself indoors away from them for the next fortnight.

Alexa Tue 13-Oct-20 18:54:20

Felice, it is certainly an idea that interests me. The Ladies' group, compared with special interest groups, is more how people spontaneously meet each other. I hope your Ladies' group survives despite the covid restrictions. Would you let us know if the ladies use emails, or telephone, or even letters instead?

Houndi Wed 14-Oct-20 09:30:55

Tell her to go to Barnard Castle

Phloembundle Wed 14-Oct-20 09:41:22

It's utterly selfish people like her who are making life miserable for the rest of us. You could dob her in anonymously.

GreenGran78 Wed 14-Oct-20 09:43:16

If teenagers went ‘trick or treating’ with flour and water bombs I could understand (but not condone) it. The idea of a grown woman taking her children on such a mission is incredible.

Riggie Wed 14-Oct-20 09:47:15

I didn't know that throwing flour and water bombs was a tradition anywhere!! I'd just let her carry on and get herself arrested!!

Yellowmellow Wed 14-Oct-20 09:49:36

Horrible woman to want to cause people distress. Not a good example to her son. I'd be steering well clear if her full stop

HannahLoisLuke Wed 14-Oct-20 09:52:48

I hate Halloween anyway and if somebody came to my door with flour and water bombs they'd get the sharp end of my tongue!
Thankfully in my town you don't knock doors at all unless they have a pumpkin on display. With Covid rampaging the whole silly thing should be outlawed with heavy fines on those who break the rules.
Let me guess where this woman comes from?

Craftycat Wed 14-Oct-20 10:10:20

I love Halloween!!
Maybe suggest to this woman that she does as our road does- the children all dress up & so do their parents & they call door to door for sweeties.
It is only a cul de sac so doesn't take long & then they have a small party in the turning circle & if it is dry we all go & join them for a glass of wine while the children share out their spoils.
It is a really fun evening.
Coming from a Scottish family (although have only ever lived in South East) Halloween is a big thing for us.

Jillybird Wed 14-Oct-20 10:23:21

You absolutely did the right thing. In your shoes I would have done exactly the same. How do people learn if they are not told? It's down to her now. You gave done your best. If she takes it amiss, more fool her - she should be grateful.

As to Halloween itself, I believe it's an American thing. It started when Asda was taken over by American Walmart and costumes and 'goods' were advertised for sale. Probably all the childrens TV we get from the US further encourages such nonsense. There's nothing nice about demanding something with menace. I see it as theft, demanding sweets or money with a punishment to follow if demands aren't met. What a way to teach children!

4allweknow Wed 14-Oct-20 10:26:27

Craftycat With your Scottish roots roots will know that what is done nowadays for Halloween is considered to be almost begging. Sweets were never given to children, it was money. Trick or treating, never heard of, it was Guising. Children did dress up but had to do a little "turn" eg recite a poem, sign a song, play an instrument, little magic trick. They had to earn their reward. This is one tradition Scots seem reluctant to maintain or resurrect. Too easy for kids to just stick out their hand for a sweet. Again, the flour bombs are an American habit.

sandelf Wed 14-Oct-20 10:39:06

felice I am in UK and there's been chat on our town FB groups. The feeling is that this year IF you decide to take your children on a Halloween walk, it should be just a 'Spot the Pumpkin' - and you (parent) award some little thing for each one. People just will not be answering the door for unexpected callers. I think that's a good compromise. - Or what 'my old mum' did - make toffee apples and do a bit of apple bobbing.

mokryna Wed 14-Oct-20 10:40:20

The reason Belgium’s numbers are high is because of the way they include everyone who died in a nursing home without testing.