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Pot calling kettle

(86 Posts)
vampirequeen Fri 16-Oct-20 17:51:22

I hate all those holier than thou charity adverts about child marriage. It’s not that I believe in child marriage. I just think we need to put our own house in order before we start telling other people what to do. Children in this country do not reach maturity until they are 18 years old but a 16 year old can get married. Therefore, we too allow child marriages.

The most up to date figures I can find are for 2016. In that year 200 girls and 40 boys were married. www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/marriagecohabitationandcivilpartnerships/adhocs/007634numberof16and17yearoldsenteringintomarriagein2014orcivilpartnershipin2016englandandwales

Why do we allow this? If we condemn child marriage then we should condemn ourselves as well as others.
The USA is even worse. Between 2000 and 2015, 200000 (yes two hundred thousand) children took part in marriages yet the adverts don't condemn them.

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/200-000-children-married-us-15-years-child-marriage-child-brides-new-jersey-chris-christie-a7830266.html

Didn’t JC say something about sorting out ourselves before we sort out others?

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Matthew 7:5

Galaxy Fri 23-Oct-20 19:31:01

I cant believe people are using the radfords as an example of a happy marriage. She was 14 and he was 18 when she became pregnant.

Jane10 Fri 23-Oct-20 19:36:16

Is it not a matter of informed consent? We had 'clients' who would disappear off to Pakistan and come back married to very confused looking very young girls.
Teacher friends told me that they have to keep a look out for young pupils suddenly disappearing off to Pakistan or Bangladesh. Forced marriage is wrong. angry

nanasam Fri 23-Oct-20 19:48:56

My cousin got married on his girlfriend's 16th birthday, when she was 8 months pregnant. This was in 1963. They moved to New Zealand, had another child and the last I heard they were still together. Who'd have thought it?

welbeck Fri 23-Oct-20 20:53:14

why are you so exercised about this OP.

Jane10 Fri 23-Oct-20 20:56:08

I was wondering that too welbeck.

Galaxy Fri 23-Oct-20 21:01:35

I think it's quite important to discuss consent, age of consent etc.

SueDonim Fri 23-Oct-20 22:40:35

Yes, the issue of consent is bound up with the age for marriage. If people are regarded as children until the age of 18, then the age of consent needs to rise to 18, too.

Fwiw, I married at 18. I was in no way a child, I’d been working for over a year by then and knew what I was doing. My mother certainly wasn’t happy with my decision and gave us six months but Dh and I have now been together for 47 years and counting.

vampirequeen Sat 24-Oct-20 08:26:14

I don't like the hypocrisy of this country allowing child marriage whilst criticising other countries and cultures. All child marriage should be banned wherever it takes place.

Lavazza1st Sat 24-Oct-20 10:06:59

I think the Radfords are another example of the right person at the wrong time.

I would have preferred to have been given the choice to stay in education at 15, not pushed to get a job. I would have been content to be a child til age 18, but it was not an option seeing as there was no support for my education.

grandtanteJE65 Sat 24-Oct-20 12:00:33

When I was young it was only in Scotland you could marry at sixteen without parental consent. In England you had to be twenty-one to do so. Hence the Gretna Green marriages.

The age when marriage is legal has nothing to do with the age of consent in most countries in the world, In most European countries you have to be eighteen to get married, but the age of consent is sixteen.