Best/worst Birthday/ Christmas present ever received (lighthearted)

I have had some lovely gifts over the years. My birthday is just before Christmas and when l was thirteen l was given my first violin - l had started lessons at school and borrowed one until then - as a combination for both events as was normally done with bigger presents but I still had a stocking and small main present at Christmas. When l was six l was given Deborah, my Tiny Tears doll with a wardrobe of hand-knitted clothes made by Mum and at ten a treble recorder. The musical theme goes with my name. I had a cassette recorder when l was eleven and that provided years of fun and entertainment. As an adult I have found it best over the years to tell my husband explicitly what I'd like or buy something first for him to repay me and wrap it up as l have had a few unfortunate "surprises" over the years. The best real surprise he gave me though was an eternity ring he gave me the Christmas l was expecting our first child.
The worst present l ever received was from an older American friend. It was a grey, dreadfully old-fashioned dress. Now l never wear grey as it gives me the six feet under look but that was not the worst thing of all. As l unwrapped she told me that it had been hers but was too big for her so she thought it might fit me. I wear size 14 dresses and tops. This, at a conservative estimate, was size 26. Still, a local charity shop told me that they could sell it (beyond my imagination who would have wanted THAT) so a happy ending.

Recently one of my acquaintances ladies received a wine cellar in the house as a gift - this is a dream! this is an amazing gift!
I would like such a gift one day))

A most memorable gift was a lorry-load of horse manure delivered to my allotment by a friend. At the time I thought it was the worst present ever, but it turned out to be a very good for my plot and for a few others close by. Worst, a pair of stockings size 11 (shows you how out of date they were) given to me by MIL. I am 5ft size 3 shoes (size 8.1/2 in stockings). At the same Christmas DH received a very expensive overcoat and my son got handmade toys worth more than my months' salary. It's the deliberate insult that hurts, not the cost.

For our first Christmas as husband and wife my DH bought me a Henry pull along vacuum cleaner. He's never bought me a household item again - and what's more I prefer upright cleaners!
I have had some lovely presents but, occasionally, as my birthday is in January, I also receive what are obviously unwanted Christmas presents! I bite my tongue and thank the giver profusely but I'm really thinking, "If you didn't want it, why would I?"

Best Christmas present, last year my son and daughter bought me a new laptop! I wasnt expecting this at all so was a fab surpirse.

Worst: Gardening book from my now ex husband, I hated gardening with a passsion, still do!

The best present was an onion hoe from DH, not really appreciated at the time but turned out to be the most useful of my garden tools and he actually got me another (as I lost No 1 in the garden for a while!)
The worst - my DD bought her MIL and me anti-wrinkle cream.

A peg bag from my husband.

My worst were one year a TV arial, and blow me down the next Christmas a Wok. From the various messages it seems men are just too practical. My husband eventually saw sense and let's me but my own presents, but there is no surprise.

One of the very best presents and one I still treasure and have worn all my life since is the signet ring bought by my parents for my 15th birthday some almost 54 years ago.

The worst a set of kitchen equipment from a close friend, I hadn't moved house or had a new kitchen installed, it was awful, luckily it came in the post so she didn't have to see my disappointed face!!

Late MIL bought me an umbrella or an apron on alternate years. She actually said she didn’t know what to buy me! I always used a big mans umbrella with a nice wooden handle my son gave me, so said MIL umbrella went to the charity shop! (And how many aprons does a girl need ??).

Best present was my I pad and later, my mini I pad from OH.

Last christmas from a close friend a box of chocolates......... I own a sweet shop !!!

My sister gave me a make up bag that I had given her the Christmas before. When I pointed it out to her she just laughed.

I ❤️ how many of these naff presents were from husbands who later became exes!
?

I remember a friend telling me how she bought a Mars Bar to give to her brother for Christmas and hid it in her bedroom but couldn’t resist taking a nibble Or two and had to sellotape it up to present on Christmas Day.

Odour eaters from a teenage boyfriend years ago was the worst Christmas gift I ever received. I am not sure if it was a joke or not- the whole family laughed but I was mortified. He’s history now, 40 years later. Best Christmas gift ever was my surprise tickets to the first Live Strictly Come dancing tour in Birmingham NEC, that was.

For my first Christmas present from DH in 1979 I received a stainless steel butter dish. ?. They did improve over the years.

For one Christmas in my early teens my mother took me to a shop window to look at a handbag she thought I would like. It wasn't what I wanted and I explained what I would prefer, but on the day it was her choice I received.
I think the most useless gifts I got were the boxed sets of pretty hankies. I received lots of them when I was young but I was not allowed to use them as they looked 'so nice in their box'.

I’ve been reading these posts out to my DH and we’ve had a good giggle.....but in defence of his sex he wants to know what rubbish presents wives have bought their husbands. I fixed him with a steely gaze and he insisted that he didn’t mean me....

DH hates to Christmas shop. One year he gave me a stack of shopping cards so I could “shop for myself”. I was heartbroken at what I viewed as his total lack of caring. A few months later I gave him a beautifully wrapped gift containing the cut up cards! Childish! Yes. Loving? No. I have always regretted being so mean spirited. FYI...I have never gotten another card as a gift from him. I still wish I had not done that.

Not for me but for my son's 15th birthday and he was very much a male my MIL gave him a t-shirt printed with sequined roses and a promotional cap from a bank.
He was not best pleased.

My best present was, like the OP, a balloon flight for my 60th birthday given to me by my 2 sons.

Worst ( most useless ) as a vegetarian was a barbecue cookery book .

Best as a child was a huge bag of fabric off - cuts from a dressmaker neighbour. I loved sewing and my mum didn’t so this was amazing.

As an adult - my husband announcing on Christmas Eve that he was willing to take 2 weeks away from running his business to go to Australia to meet up with our 19 year old back packing son who had been away for 6 months of his gap year . He hated taking time off work and the surprise element was fantastic as it hadn’t been discussed . Nothing will ever top that .

One of the best was a set of digital weighing scales that my daughter bought me. They are great and i use them all the time. Very good if watching your weight and they weigh in both grams and ozs. I love them.

I’ve had a good laugh reading all of these posts!

I think that anyone who receives lacking-in-thought gifts should reciprocate with a gift of bouquets of flowers for that person: one delivered in January, one in the month of your birthday and the third in the month of that giver’s birthday, all to arrive AT YOUR HOME so you can enjoy those flowers which are ‘for the house’ just like the vacuum cleaners and cake tins.

We shouldn’t accept the myth that men tend to give ‘practical’ gifts. If the equivalent of Marilyn Monroe was spending Christmas with your family, he would have no problem at all in getting a suitable gift for her and it wouldn’t be a pair of washing up gloves!

Worst present - ashtray from an in-law - I do not smoke!

Best Christmas present- return ticket, Business Class to Adelaide from my DH.