My friend is a right wing racist

"You lost touch for years "did your life stop for years? I guess not, people like these have to be told bluntly, Politely I would suggest that you could say" I am not comfortable with your views and conversations, I have no interest in your views and conversations and stop contacting me" . I never justify myself to people who don't deserve it. I would treat this person like the cold callers telling me I had a car crash, who want me to change energy suppliers, and so on and I am not so polite with those. Have courage my dear
you deserve a peaceful life.

All of my friends are precious diamonds, whatever the religious or political views.As far as I know, none are racists, everyone is equal in our world, some nicer than others.

Aren’t Gransnetters great? After reading all the posts on this subject I think I’d be privileged to be friends with 99% of them ( and I’m sure the remaining one percent could talk me round).

Block her number and any way of her contacting you if you don't want anything to do with her after you have sent a text explaining why.

Messenger, social media, email, mobile, WhatsApp etc all have the block facility

I was in avery similar situation some years back with an old school friend.
She had moved to the US & we lost touch.
Following bankruptcy there she returned home for a couple of years &we met up by chance.
Initially charmed to have found my old school pal I soon realised that she had become extremely right wing & racist.
When she moved back to the states we kept in contact by letters, gifts, phonecalls and even met up once again in Chicago where I was having a girls' break.
Realizing this friendship was not for me and that what once was a happy schoolgirl alliance was not going to be a happy adult friendship I started to pull back from the communications. However she really bombarded me with phonecalls, calling specifically at times I'd told her were unsuitable for me -she'd call early morning once her children had gone to school which was exactly the time my youngest got in from secondary school. The phone calls were largely right-wing racist rants
There was no reasoning with her so finally I write her a letter saying I could no longer be in this friendship and I explained why citing many instances of her prejudice.
I found it difficult on one hand to sever such a long- standing relationship but cathartic & really just honest to finally voice my opinion and my decision clearly.
I've never heard from her since.
I do think of her from time to time naturally and I do wish her well but I dont miss the relationship - only think I should have ended it a lot earlier.
It's about looking after your own emotional and mental health.
Everyone is different and entitled to their opinions.

Steer clear of those who vexate your spirit.

Look after yourself

You don't have to be friends with anybody you don't want to, and actually can you really use the words 'racist' and 'friend' in the same sentence?

A bird should have two wings, a right and a left. Otherwise it wouldn't be able to fly. The same with politics. Neither 'Right Wing' nor 'Left Wing' are bad in themselves. They mirror the symmetry of our human condition. An old friendship goes deeper than politics.

I agree with you Jaxie I often think exactly the same thing, especially lately re the free meals for children. How you can be a Christian and yet feel it right to not help the needy beats me.

I remember a vicar in the DofE who said "no one could possibly be a Christian and a Conservative"

A Christian friend fell out with me because I was so incensed by her rudeness to me and her right wing views that I dashed off a polemical piece of writing entitled “Why I am a socialist” with details from my very tough childhood in a single parent family. I ended the piece by asking how anyone who called themself a Christian could vote Conservative, as what would Jesus Christ have voted. End of friendship, no debate was forthcoming. As Desmond Tutu said when someone told him that politics and religion don’t mix: “ And which Bible have you been reading?”

Write to her & explain how you feel - how do you feel?
Unsettled, anxious, sad, concerned?
Acknowledge & tell her what you really valued & treasured about her
Thank her for her friendship over all the years.
Explain how your values are very different & you feel upset when these differences are so apparent.
For a healthy state of mind for yourself you have decided to move on.
Reject her values not the person.
And move on.

Block her !!!

Someone close to me is a massive Trump supporter and also goes along with many strange conspiracy theories. He loves to talk about all this. I listen but pass no comment and refuse to be drawn into any argument. Sometimes, when he is factually wrong, I point it out and that proves he can be wrong! Sooner or later, the conversation changes direction. I don't want to fall out if I can help it as he has some hardships to endure and is kind in many ways.

Just this.

If you haven't got the same values, it's going to be hard to continue your friendship with her. I think you have to admit that the relationship'a dead in the water. Tell her you think you both need to move on.. Its not uncommon for people to become more racist the older and wealthier they become, not everyone, it's just a generalization based on my own experience..

Tell her if she wants to talk politics then she will have to listen to your views too. Personally I would then tell her what I really think of Trump, she'll either take it and agree to differ or be so insulted that she will bother you no more.

I agree that if you don't want to remain friends, for any reason, you don't have to. Just stop taking her calls. I also hope you're not assuming she's racist because she supports Donald Trump. Has she made racist remarks? Sometimes the true racists are the ones calling others that because of their political views. Trump's opponent has made many racist statements that aren't reported in mainstream news.

Racism and all that goes with it is against the law. Have a look at the Equality and Human Rights Commission. It gives a list of all the minorities who come under the Act and of the disabilities included in it.

From personal experience I know that people in general have no idea that it is a crime to be openly hostile to the minorities who come under the protection of the state, so to speak.

If your friend continues with her attitude, you must tell her, show her the gov.co,uk site and explain to her that you cannot be associated with her in any way unless she ends her attitude because you do not want people to assume that you are like minded.

I can understand it must be difficult to have a friendship when political views are diametrically opposed, especially if it's hard to find subjects to talk about that do not link back to politics in some way.

For me the politics would just be a matter of difference of opinion, and I'd try to find other common ground or agree to disagree on politics, or agree not to discuss at all and stick to other subjects. The bigger issue is the racism. I see this as an attitude problem rather than a different political stance. I can get along with people who have different political views to my own, who are religious when I am not, who have lifestyles nothing like mine. However, I would not want 'racist' 'friends' - the two do not go together, they are like a poem that doesn't rhyme and this sort of bigotry rubs me up the wrong way, leaves a bad taste, a bad smell, a suffocating atmosphere that I don't want to live with.

I can tolerate a lot of things, have had friends that make inappropriate comments or jokes. Once had an Irish mate that politics was a no-go subject with as some comments she made early on meant I strongly suspected I would disagree with her!

If you really don't want a friendship with this person you either have to totally ignore them, tell them how you feel then ignore them, or give them a blast on why you exercise your right to choose your friends and do not wish to include a racist (like her) among them and if she continues to 'bombard' you with calls, texts, messages on groups, forums, on your phone or online etc you will put a 'call-bar' on her number, block her, delete her, ignore her anywhere else in life. If she persists even then, inform her that the harassment will become a police matter. It would drive me insane if anyone bombarded me with anything - real friends would not do this.

While everyone is entitled to their opinion - even [and this may make me sound rather judgemental] Trump-supporting racist twats, I would not want them in my life or to count them amongst my friends. Good luck

If you've told her and she isnt listening to what you are say l'd put together one last message summing up exactly how you, tell her you would rather not message anymore. If you still have contact you don't want....block her.

I really wouldn’t want to be friends with a racist, I personally think that anyone who worships Trump must be racist I would block her from everything she can contact you on.
Or simply tell her you can’t be friends with someone who is racist.

I strongly recommend "Why Can't We all Just Get Along" by Iain Dale.

One of the saddest things about modern life is the polarisation between people of different views. In particular the demonisation of anyone who, in the USA, votes for Trump, and in the UK, voted for Brexit or votes Tory.
Lots of political positions can go hand in hand with being a good person. Nobody holds their political views because they want to hurt people or make the world a worse place, they hold them because they seem the right thing to think.
Having said that...the one exception has to be racism, and nobody can be blamed for taking a firm line on that - if we stay being all polite and looking the other way, it's never going to go away, is it?
Families are a bit different. I have a disparate set of relatives on the West Coast, most are Democrats but one cousin is a real MAGA-hat wearer and has been heard expressing distinctly racist views. If he weren't my cousin, we would not be friends.
Yet I have to say, he's also kind, generous, adventurous and is a wonderful, loving dad who has brought up his 5 children single-handedly and I have to remember all that is part of his personality, too.

If you do like her generally then call her out I’ve certainly done it. In fact it should be done any how it’s horrible simple as.

I have friends and family who all vote differently. We all get along just fine.

Not interested in being friendly with anyone racist though.

I don't think that way of thinking can be changed by anything I could say and I wouldn't want to engage in conversation.