Foot in mouth moments

I wish there was a like button these are very funny ?

When my son was a tot still in a pushchair we passed a lady shop assistant and he said 'hello big fat lady'. Mortified. But he was too young to understand it was an insult.

Talking about the 'Big Brother' programme with a colleague, I set to with my opinion about the type of people who would want to go on it.

My colleague then told me her son applied, was shortlisted and may well be chosen.

I was chatting with a friend of my daughters who has a same sex partner. We were laughing about someone's idiosyncracies and i said 'My mother always used to say 'Everyone's queer but you and me - and even thee's a little queer!'
Yikes - foot, mouth, mouth ,foot!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Helping at a charity 'nearly new' sale, I picked up a horrendously patterned XXXL pair of ladies trousers. I held them aloft and laughingly shouted "Who on earth would wear these?"
A voice from the other end of the hall boomed out "I did".
Aargh! Was my face red!

LauraNorder, don't beat yourself up, I lurked on this site for more than two years, only joining when I finally got an email address, I still don't use it though.

It didn't take me long to realise that posting a comment is far different from simply reading comments. It takes time to become known, to fit in with a group of people who "know" one another and to become accepted.

As for foot in mouth. I said to my wife that I had seen a lady who had managed to get the hem of her skirt caught up in by the elastic in her knickers, adding that I looked away and hoped someone else lets her know.

Smiling, my wife said, "you can talk," as she looked towards my crotch. I had been walking round all day with my flies undone.

I was at a charity function several years ago and started chatting to the distinguished man seated next to me. I asked some general question about his wife and he told me she was dead. I then offered my sympathy, followed by "do you have children" and he replied "we had one daughter, she died last year". After that I kept my mouth shut.
Another time I was chatting to a young man in my local, blathering about my lovely DD and how much she looks like me. I went on to say it was so nice to have a biological child that shared the same genetic composition. Of course he told me that he was adopted. Drink was involved. I'm not normally so stupid.

When l was about 14 l was staying at a friends house and her very well off parents held a cocktail party....we are going back a bit in time. Anyway my friend and l were tasked with handing round the canapes, a very pleasant elderly gentleman started chatting to me and asked me whether my mother worked, l replied yes she did and obviously he asked me what she did, thinking l was very clever l replied loudly and clearly “ yes she solicits”. The whole room went completely silent, l meant she was a legal secretary for a solicitor. Oh dear.

I did once ask a pregnant acquaintance how much longer she had to go, she’d had a little girl two weeks before. Oops

I was talking with a pregnant work colleague about girl's names. She already had one daughter. I said I really didn't like the name Hannah. Yup! That was her daughter's name.

I know this is a light hearted thread but can I seize the opportunity to apologise for my enormous gaff when I first joined.
I read the first few threads which were about marriage problems where others were advising people to leave him, see a financial advisor, etc. Other threads were about rows with others, shall I dump my best friend, etc.
Then someone posted a light hearted thread and I jumped in with a comment about how I was about to leave as gransnet was all doom and gloom so I was glad to see a fun thread.
Within days I saw the real gransnet, real people with awful tragedy in their life reaching out for and receiving support, comfort and genuine concern.
I felt embarrassed, selfish, stupid and have regretted it ever since.
I was Peardrop50 then and would like to apologise from the bottom of my heart if I upset anybody with my crass naivety at the time.
Sorry to have hijacked the thread so back to light heartedness and thanks for listening.

I hadn’t seen a lady I used to see in the supermarket. She was permanently in a wheelchair and she had been ill. So of course I said to her ‘nice to see you back on your feet’ she took it well

As for foot in mouth, my foot is only out because I'm ramming the other one in!

My Kathryn was called Katie as a little girl, went through her adolescence as Kayt and is now Kat! Matthew is Matt, Philip is Phil...
So much for calling my children nice "whole" names

Visiting my sister in the USA a few years ago with her new husband and meeting his family I remarked how like her dad the eldest was only to be told she was adopted....??

DH and I when we saw some friends. One was without his wife so I asked if she was ok. Um... they were now separated.

Later I had a quiet moment with him and profusely apologised for asking about her in front of other people.

I’m fairly sure that Katy Carr in the book was actually called Katherine. I think there’s a reference to it somewhere.

I once said to a man who had a little girl on his shoulders 'you're so lucky having your granddaughter in the same country'...then I heard her say 'daddy?' ?

I'm another with a Katie daughter!

Another time I was recommending a great tv programme to my friend when I suddenly remembered the first scene had a hanging suicide in it and......guess what.

I remember my son telling someone he didn't have a leg to stand on and then realising he actually had an artificial leg!

When someone asked my brother what his wife was like he said that she was fat but not as fat as you.