The Argy Bargy Bar...the lease has been secured!

I can come as Honey Ryder I’m sure I have a bikini somewhere..........^underneath the mango tree, my honey^ ?????

I will be Moneypenny. I can collect all the cash for Lemon.

Doodle has put the board outside and there's already a queue. This will be a bumper night for cash. Doodle is charging 5 quid entry fee.

Hang on Doodle ! It’s nowhere near Friday yet tha knaws!

I may come as Scaramanga (I have a golden gun somewhere)
Or I may come as Rosa Klebb ( yes, I have those shoes)?

First thing Monday morning, get down to the cellar and start brewing AGA can you perfect some martini poteen?

I am taking bookings for Friday lemon . It’s going to be a popular night. We have loads of guys coming as James Bond.
One gangly bloke coming as Q .
I think GrannyGravy should come as M. ?

Martini poteen brewing with some added ingredients.

Ah! Secret ingredients, all the best things have those, well done AGA and be sure to order up some olives to go on little sticks....we can do sophisticated when we want to.
Am putting Doodle in charge of food ( taking a big chance there I know) and GrannyGravy can you organise the decor, take ten bob from the till, am in a generous mood today.

Karaoke will be good with all the Bond themes... from Russia with looove, diamonds are forever..

Oh wow thanks lemon I won’t let you down.
How about caviar blinis (frogspawn on crackers) ?

As long as we don’t have to eat them Doodle that’ll be fine. Now...how about something edible for us?
Bond enjoyed Japanese food if I remember rightly, so nip down the docks on Thursday and see if you can get a few bloaters.

My new wheeze for the bar is business lunches, two courses for a fiver, have been in the kitchen cooking up a storm...
Mushrooms (cellar) and salted peanut soup followed by dandelion salad and quiche de jour ( in this case ‘bitso’ quiche... bits o’ this and bits o’ that) with a free glass of poteen.
Will someone do a chalkboard for advertising at the bar door please? Meanwhile, George is dispensing at the Nespresso machine if anyone cares to have a cup.

I will need to make even more poteen. Already brewed gallons for Friday.
Good idea doing lunches lemon. I have asked Fast Fritz for extra potatoes so they can be served baked with a stewed apple filling (loads of apples in the Admiral's garden.) I will see if the captain has anything growing in his.

There’s lots of bloaters on the docks lemon do you want Big Gus and his paunch or Bloated Bertie or you could have the twins tweedle dum and tweedle Dee. Which of them should I get? ?

I don't think all those bloaters will come Doodle as last time the llamas took a liking to their large behinds and they couldn't sit down for a week.

Forget the bloaters.....get a few kippers ( no, not the lazy dockers having a kip somewhere) something fishy ( not The Admiral either.)I give up....you just can’t get the staff these days!
Am retiring to the comfy chair by the fire with a large pernod.
Am shaken ( but not stirred.)

Oh ok lemon I am on the trail of something fishy. Does a whale count ?

It sure does! Think of the sheer amount of sushi we could get out of that, take your harpoon and off you go.

'Evening!
Am I in time for last orders?
I can provide a large, long haired cat for tomorrow evening, should you require one.

Will it be safe with my llamas Fanny?
Are you coming to tomorrow’s theme night. It’s going to be good. Do you know where I can get some fish for sushi?
I’ve got a cod and chips will that do?

I thought that Blofeld might need something to sit on his lap and be stroked Doodle.
Do you think someone will come as Blofeld?

Re my cat and your llamas Doodle. I'm not quite sure now; she is rather an attractive cat; she's feisty enough (and large) but I'm not sure that even she could handle two llamas in high spirits.

Sadly, I won't be able to make it this evening. I'm more of an early doors customer. But I'm more than happy to help you or lemongrove set up this afternoon - I know that there's always a lot to do.

Re the sushi.
Do you know anyone with koi carp?
My neighbour Bill has a couple in his pond.
You could get a lot of sushi from even one small koi.

Hellooo??

I'm outside now in the car park.
I'm got an angry Maine Coon, and a koi carp that's seen better days in a Tesco carrier bag.

All the food at the Argy has seen better days Fanny so bring it in. The cat will be welcome too. We do have a mouse problem unless it's our night for mouse stew.

I have cleaned the toilets (again?) for tonight's bash (when's payday, BTW?), so you could always just leave the moribund carp in one of the lavatory pans if you want, fanny. Just put a big sign on the seat lid, saying "Out of Order, DO NOT FLUSH".
Not that many do, anyway, between you and me?