The Argy Bargy Bar...the lease has been secured!

Dear lemongrove,
I decided to aim for a rapid transition from lav-scrubber to pot-scrubber by coming in daily, not weekly.
Imagine my consternation when, on my arrival this morning, I went to fetch my mop and bucket and found that persons unknown had been putting their bits and pieces in my glory hole without my consent.
I feel obliged now to acquire a padlock for said facility.
Kind regards,
Ixion
PS I hope you don't think I am acting, as it were, oh desoo de ma gare

Doodle I thought I’d make do with my hairnet, if it’s good enough for Ena Sharples .....

Evening all. Are we having a party ?
Who ordered the strip a gran? Oops sorry Lisa didn’t realise it was you in that uniform.
What will we do next Friday lemon. Have we done cops and robbers before, I can’t remember?
ixion get back to your glory hole and give it a good clean ?
Laura, now you are chef, will you be wearing one of those funny hats on your head?
AGA.., I’ve had an offer from King Edward the boss of spud u like....and apart from that he wants to know if you want last years leftovers for your next brew.

Lisa can you please remove your jugs from easy reach of the Admiral. You know what he is like.

Laura that cordon blah course you went on has really paid off.

I can see I'll be working overtime (unpaid, of course) at the old lavs.

Lisa you must stop wearing my uniform, it barely fits you and there’s no way you can smuggle your jugs in.
AGA, I thought I’d tempt the punters with a cowpat roulade and baby leprechaun greens. Followed by llama snot tiramigu with a snifter of your best poteen.

Don’t worry about me AGA, I’m very hot blooded......

Lisawhere are your thermal bloomers? You will catch a chill in your nether regions in that outfit.
What are you cooking up for next party night Laura? I can put an antidote in the poteen.

Wanders in after hearing of an ‘illegal rave’ at The Argy...........wanders out again, disappointed, realising they probably said “it’s as quiet as a grave down the Argy”.

Even HMRC aren’t allowed to tamper with Lemon’s accounts but I know George gets to look through her profit and loss now and then.
You’re right AGA Access &Eat was indeed a very busy and successful night. That was my rat tail pie with roasted cockroaches on a bed of chilled flies.

Laura I remember your pie well. A & E had a busy night. Your stew is very tasty though. Don't tell anyone what those black lumps are.
ixion I had to do my time as a scrubber on my knees in the lavs but you will get your turn scouring the pans in the kitchen then helping Doodle with mucking out the llamas.
None of us have progressed to helping lemon with the accounts.

Lemon I am disappointed that you are unwilling to contribute your pearly pink toenails to my ground llama teeth and toenail pie covered with poteen pastry and decorated with dropped pine needles swept fresh from the Argy floor.
I’m thrilled with my promotion to chef and will endeavour not to poison any more customers than necessary.

Nobody is touching my pearly pink toenails....so back off with those scissors ixion?
Of course there is career progression! Lav cleaning, llama tending, then bar cleaning, kitchen duties, poteen brewing, chef-ing, bartender, waitress-ing and finally accounts.
Doodle is llama tending, AGA is brewing and I do accounts. Laura is chef-ing at the moment ( which explains the lack of paying customers) and Fanny has offered herself
( as she often does) to help Doodle with the llamas.
So...after a spell of lav cleaning you may move on to another role which needs filling.

Lavs it is then!

ixion you might progress to cutting Lemon’s toenails, careful what you wish for

Isn't there some sort of career progression?

ixion I wouldn’t want to deprive you of a task to which you were so well suited. ?

Would that be instead of cleaning the lavs, doodle??

P.S. Fanny, don’t let them talk you into getting them mushy peas........least said the better. ?

Fanny that is so kind of you. Please come on over and I will introduce them to you. We used to have a little trouble with both Gnasher and Groper in that they seemed to have a bottom fetish and would bite any that passed by. We seemed to have cured that by feeding them a pint of poteen a day.
If you would like to help I am sure they would like a walk to the fish and chips shop. They all like cod and chips.
AGA speak for yourself ?. Happy New Year to you too.

Happy New Year to all my fellow scrubbers at the Argy.

Happy New Year from your newest customer!

Thank you for the delicious Vosene lemongrove, as you predicted, it worked wonders on the sinuses. I was in need of a good clear out. (Sorry about that.)

I did indeed mistakenly stumble in, having previously had a few MadDog 20/20s (fish flavour) in the The Farage & Firkin.

Doodle please don't forget, if you are in need of any respite from the llamas, I'm always happy to help.

Happy New Year from me and the llamas to you all ?????

Happy new year all you Argy buddies ???