The Argy Bargy Bar...the lease has been secured!

lemon? Is that the ageing décolleté diva giving it some wellie on the karaoke? If so, I'll snook in now, will just leave my mop and bucket in the shadows.

Some old guy in a straw hat came to collect his llamas, couldn’t separate them from the Argy ones, it was chaos, so much noise, lights going on and off, terrible odour. Said he was Farmer Geddon.

Here I am dead on 6pm free drinks, no strings woohoo.

ixion it's better to come when lemon has had a few. She forgets about the cleaning so leave it till 6pm.

Well......as you are here..?

Wot, favour-free? No lavs to clean in exchange????

Drinks on the house for all tonight!????????✨

Good idea lemon. I will sprinkle some gunpowder on top and light it at midnight then .....run.

I see that big white winged thing is still at the top of the tree,
Time it came down and went on it’s way, we’re not running a holiday camp you know.
Get brewing AGA ....something a little special for NYE please ( we still have some gunpowder knocking around in the cellar.)

I’m back!
What’s that ‘orrible smell?
Well, that’s actually a good idea, drying out and selling all the
Llama droppings, well done all of you.?????Let’s call it Llama Logs ( burns a treat!)

AGA we could set up in business while lemon’s away. By the time she comes back at New Year we could be ready to start selling. If we collect .....?...if we get the boys to collect all the end product and take it down to the cellar we could have the furnace on to dry it out. We could pack it in bags and sell it to the punters. What could we call it?

Doodle there was plenty of burning fuel from the llamas after their Christmas excesses so could be a good idea. Anything to save money. We have been thinking of burning peat but he has left in a huff.

laura
Hmm. Llamas do have long lashes. In fact with a bit of make up I’m sure many a boozy punter would make a pass at my llamas. Yes we could do that Fanny
There is another way of marking money from the llamas too. Apparently we could use their ...... er deposits to dry and burn them as fuel . We could be the first pub to be run on llama poo in the country. We’d be famous ........and smelly ?

Ooh Llama Lashes, we could be rich in the blink of an eye

I don't mind looking after the llamas Doodle I'm good with animals.
Just give me some instructions and we'll be fine.

By the way, did you see the advert for false eyelashes that has now been removed? They make them from real mink hair and horse hair.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Yes!
Llama Lashes!

The llamas have also eaten all the puddings and a whole Christmas cake. I have put them outside as they are having digestive problems and I don't want to spend all week cleaning up.

Oh my poor llamas. I’d better come home and look after them . I’ll just have one more go on Santa’s sleigh first ?

Recovery time now girls.....
I just popped in to check all was ok in the bar and found that
Nobody had left food for the llamas! They broke into the kitchen ( anyone see Shaun The Sheep, and ‘The Farmer’s Llamas?’) well, it was exactly the same scene here.?
They were lolling on the sofas, watching the tv on the bar and stuffing themselves with popcorn, sausage rolls and poteen.

Happy Christmas one and all.
Lisa for goodness sake girl, wrap up and put your liberty bodice on. You’ll catch a chill like that. .....well you’ll catch something anyway ?

Happy Christmas AGA Laura Lemon and all the Argy regulars. I’m off to Lapland with Santa, he wants to show me his grotto. ?? Ho Ho Ho

Please will someone feed the llamas while I’m gone.
Back in time to get ready for our New Years bash.

Merry Christmas Lemon and all the rest of the happy drunken lushes in the Argy.
Same to the sailors, soldiers, firemen, tattooists and all the other men we come across in the line of duty.
Good wishes to the llamas and the unicorns.

Happy Christmas Lady Lemongrove and all the other hussies who frequent the Argy.

It’s time I wished all you hussies and reprobates a Happy Christmas! I shall be off soon ( with Rich Reggie, sailing round the Caribbean islands) so....don’t drink the bar dry, don’t pinch cash from the till and lock up each night.
Do....have a wonderful time and take Thor and Achilles home with you for the big day!
Happy Christmas Argies ?????

I often think of the Admiral’s dicky ticker.....and then I end up spilling the jugs

Don’t let the Admiral see you in that get up! Think of his dicky ticker?

Yes, miss! I’ll just change my clothes - I have to have the right gear on to get the jugs right.......