The Argy Bargy Bar...the lease has been secured!

Hope you haven't worn him out GG
I've got my clogs on ??
One of my plaits is a bit skewiff, how do you keep yours up Urm?

Well, well, look what has arrived! Our nice Culture chappy Mr. Croix ('call me Grande') has brought along his ?shokolateer for us with a supply of those truffles he makes.
I have told him to send back his side kick, the size 6 brazen hussy in the grey cashmere who demonstrates über-suggestively how to eat them by an open fire.
No opposition, thanks. This OUR bash?

I got a bit cross with Vlad for messing up my kitchen and he suggested a bit of research. Told me to look up youth in Asia, apparently common in Switzerland, I’m puzzled.

Just popping in to leave my jugs on the bar for later. Looking forward to a yodelling fondue on the rocks..........or failing that a large toblerone round the back

First prize is George, but I have been giving him spiritual guidance in the cellar and he is a tad tired ??

Hi everyone! How do I look? I’m quite pleased with my outfit.

Right girlies - are we ready to do our clog dance? Only there’s. lot to fit in tonight one way and another. I’ve got my tickets for the raffle. What’s the first prize lemon?

I am dressed and ready, taken the dirndl skirt up to thigh length (I have got good legs ??) have sprayed my clogs with gold paint to match my undercrackers, let’s get the party started.......................

The cocktails Franz has made look good but they are a strange colour. He has used Grannygravy's 90 year old gin. He says he loves very mature gin almost as much as very mature ladeeys...........is it hot in here? Where are the smelling salts?

Plaits!

I agree about the lack of variety in Swiss nosh Laura, I've added some of * Maw's* vodka to the Milka, voilà some Vilka fondue, hic ?

By the way those Swiss Guards have deposited their mascot in the cellar, a ruddy big cow with those bell thingies and flowers around its neck, the llamas are not happy.

GrannyG's knickers fitted just fine, not sure about the colour though, a bit grainy.
I think we look very pastoral in our blond plants Urm
Don't worry lemon Vlad can come home with me, maybe we set up a nice little earner - Vlad's Vilka, nice bit of alliteration there.
See you later Swiss Family Lemons ????

Did somebody say just eat?
Mmmmmm, Those choccy cheesy thingies look amazing.

‘Ere! I’ll have a bash at that brandy Laura just the pick me up that I need.

ixion? I hope they will behave themselves, those Swiss Guards have a bit of a rep! Anyway shouldn’t they be in Rome guarding the Pope? Their pantaloons are almost as good as our bloomers ( almost).

A great big St Bernard has just delivered a barrel of brandy. Keep the llamas away, too strong for them, ooh it’s delicious

Good job on the lavs ixion, nice touch replacing the loo roll holders with cuckoo clocks, love the little birds handing me two sheets while I have one sheet. .
Shame you’ve banned yodelling Lemon I was hoping to do my Frank Ifield song for the karaoke. He taught me to yodel, yodel oh a Dee ?.
Been busy in the kitchen with muesli and melted toblerone and raclette cheese, not a lot of variety in these Swiss diets! No wonder they all go about yodelling, maybe it’s stomach cramps

Just nipped in to tweak the lads lavs for tonight's bash - there is a bloke at the front door.
Says something about being a culchural attashay and asking if he can bring his tour tonight to sample British low pub life?
He says they are Swiss (ooh, themed même) guards but I am a bit bothered by the outfits, tbh.

Popped in early to make sure the bar is ship shape and Bristol fashion for the big nite! Found Vlad fast asleep in an empty barrel in the cellar, poor thing has no home to go to, so have given him free run of the cellar.The llamas seem a bit nervous of him, they were grouped at the other end of the room, I’ll take them out for a walk in a minute, they need fresh air ( as do we all.)
George has the Nespresso machine fired up in the bar and says he can’t wait to see your clog dance this evening, and he’s hoping to win the raffle ( silly boy, he doesn’t know it, but
he is the top raffle prize!)?
Laters.

Right Urms and Grannygravy we will be on first tomorrow with our clog dance. Just make sure that g string of yours doesn’t fly off in the high kick GrannyG, I don’t think the Admirals recovered from the rehearsal yet.
Maw I like the sound of the vodka fondue but I think I will try it before Laura uses it as a foot bath. ?. The things she does for Matt’s ....er....horn.

I’ve not told Himself I've become a regular in here. This establishment has quite a reputation. Must be why it’s so popular.
?

Actually I asked Thor to put up No Yodelling signs all round the bar, there’s only so much flesh and blood can stand.

Good idea Maw let’s go straight to vodka fondue, Matt er Horn likes us to dip our toes in so that he can suck them, anything for an extra shot.
I have embroidered my little black bodice with coloured flowers and hope that Franz will tighten the laces under my bosom without causing an avalanche.
Talking of avalanches, all that clog bashing is pretty risky. Tomorrow when we all start yodelling the Argy might become an igloo.

On the lookout for a lonely goatherd Urmstongran ??
You do look a bit like a extra from a Wagnerian opera ( who has had little time to get dressed.) That’s what damp night air does to blonde plaits....I should know, I have been wearing mine too and hanging about the gaslight in Pigstrotters Lane for the last hour ( scouring the street for customers.)

It’s all Doodles fault. It was her idea. I thought our hair in blonde plaits was a sweet idea. I look like (an aged) Heidi. Himself keeps staring at me with my new up do. I think I’ve caught his attention anyway. Just said ‘I’m off out to soops’ and ran all the way here. Now they’re a bit loose.

Thor, Vlad and Franz are all going to wear tiny leather shorts,
And I have heard that Wandering Hans will be coming and wearing a spectacular outfit......we shall see.

Yes, you can do your performance before you get legless, or the audience does.
Then we will have karaoke and then the raffle before supper,
Wonder what Laura has been making, she was cooking up a storm in the kitchenette today!