Lockdown Children.

Precisely jenpax. I was raised, in abject poverty, in the 1950s. I raised my own family in the 1980s. None of those experiences have any relevance to how families are trying to raise their families in 2020. But there will always be the old stalwarts who declare "Well, in my day we did.....and we managed to......Today's generation have it easy...." It's a nonsense that only illustrates how out of touch they really are.

Me five!

Well said Chewbacca ??

Chewbacca and Summerlove, I feel exactly the same reading these posts.

I spent the day looking after youngest dgd (2.4 years) today, but at their house rather than at mine for once.
Both DS and DiL have had to work from home since March, and were on conference calls almost the entire day. If they weren't able to do this, they would quite literally lose their jobs, and then eventually their home, so it's not as if they have a realistic alternative.

They are lucky, because I am able to help out, but not all parents have any help whatsoever, so is it any surprise really that their children regress, when their parents are not in a position to monitor/deal with their toilet needs etc at the drop of a hat?

In our case, lockdown and no nursery has meant that between us we have actually been able to toilet train dgd sooner than would otherwise have been the case, but we are all very aware that things would have been very very different if they didn't have grandparental back-up!

Chewbacca Fair point! I brought mine up in the 1990’s and early 2000 and even since then things have changed, how much more for those raising families in 1960’s and 70’s or earlier!

Me three

Chewbacca

I'm really fed up of older people, who have no concept of what it's like trying to raise a family today, and constantly cross reference it to their own past experiences from 50/60 years ago.

You and I Both.
Very disheartening

I'm really fed up of older people, who have no concept of what it's like trying to raise a family today, and constantly cross reference it to their own past experiences from 50/60 years ago.

I would remind some posters that some parents may well have faced illness, bereavement and domestic violence during lockdown so their families probably will have regressive behaviour and this won’t be their fault

I'm really fed up of parents who don't act like parents and take responsibility for their children's upbringing. It's pure laziness and they are getting away with it because the 'do gooders' can always come up with an excuse for 'poor' them. Not having much money and being busy is no excuse for not eating as a family and using cutlery etc.

Coming from a 'not very well off' working class family, my parents would have been appalled at some of the behaviours of today because good standards and manners don't cost anything.

I feel for the kids losing their schooling I really do especially older kids who may well lose confidence and the one thing all kids need touch putting and arm round a friend a hug if you fall over a big old greeting with the happiness of seeing each other again BUT how can they lose skills that should have been learnt at home and continued on a daily basis even if the parents are having to work and haven’t much time Surely they have a meal together. breakfast or at least one main meal in the day Didn’t they teach them that at age 2 or so to hold a knife and fork why would that not have continued in lock down ?
If the children are at home with one or more parent or grandparents can’t they still be supervised to go to the toilet I just don’t get it
I could get anxiety, lack of confidence, hesitance, maybe tears but toilet training and feeding themselves I just don’t get

I'm afraid it must be because some parents don't realise that they really have to be active. I've only just realised how much I did with my little ones as a result of my own Mum being an infant teacher. I thought it was a law of nature that parents always talk to their children - day of the week, time of day, seasons, colours, names for things, numbers of things, about cooking, housework etc etc. I guess they have been able to rely on nurseries etc.

Unfortunately, this has been going on long before lockdown. When my DD started school, many years ago, I asked a friend who taught reception children, what she should be able to do by the time she started school, thinking be able to write her name, know colours, counting, etc. I was amazed when she said: hold a pencil, read a book from left to right, eat with a knife and fork and be out of nappies.

Regression in children is their way of coping with stress rather than not being taught Did none of you ever have a child who was like this when a baby came into the house or a grandparent died?

We seem to have a lot of judgmental grans on here who are obviously totally unaware of what disfunctional lives some mothers have through no fault of their own

Oooops,IDLE,sorry.

Exactly Grannybags.
I really believe some parents are just bone idol and believe teachers should teach their children table manners/toilet behavior.
As if their job isn`t hard enough.
I worked for Ten years in an infant school as a vounteer and was amazed that 5/6 year olds couldn`t use a knife and fork/use the bathroom or tie shoe lases.

All sounds very odd to me.
Forgetting to use a knife and fork? How do they eat in these households?

Nanny27

Not all of today's young parents are as lucky as your DC to have a granny nearby who is able to help.
And not everyone has a garden to go into either.

I don't think we're talking about the parents and grandparents who coped well, but about those who may be single parents who were really struggling, perhaps the main concern being obtaining enough food to give to their children.

Nanny27 Same here! I did morning school for the 10 year old who was then in year 5 while daughter played with the 2.5 year old and the baby then in the afternoon she did crafts and baking, cycling etc with them and I got on with work after bed time she studied and I did more work.
I downloaded the national curriculum to make sure I covered the work the eldest needed and I made use of lots of free resources provided by museums and art galleries and others which helped.

I agree to disagree...

fritherdog Pointing the finger of blame at my generation of parents (the ones who brought up today’s young parents) is counter productive! after all it was your generation that brought us up! Where will your buck stop I wonder!

I really really don't want to sound smug but... During lockdown I looked after my 3 grandchildren at home (7,7 and 4)as well as teaching my own students using Zoom for part of each day. It was b*****y hard work but I don't think anyone regressed. For 2 hours each morning the gc's did activities at the kitchen table (little one played) while I did my lessons. We had a break followed by an hour of literacy or numeracy. Then we made lunch together. Afternoon s we played outside or read stories.
Hard work for me but any gran would do the same I'm sure.

I also agree this is a most judgmental thread and some of the comments are so ready to point the finger to bad parenting.

I heard the talk about how many children have regressed in this pandemic and many of us grandparents should be aware that todays young children have not been brought up as children were after the war. I think it is sad to hear that the children have regressed in toilet training, using a knife and fork, simple social skills and reading and writing.
Just a quick mention to FRITHERDOG: the people they interviewed for some of the results were not parents and children from some of the less academic areas but were indeed some of the more affluent parents, which goes to show that all of the children have been affected by this pandemic and the lack of open schools.

I am64, nobody told me not to visit with my baby at mealtimes; we were welcomed with open arms. The worry and relief as a young mother was all mine. I think we have all been there - that feeling of being on the spot with older relatives even when we are not in all reality. The occasion was when my grandmother, who lived some distance from us, was dying and we went to visit her to say goodbye in hospital after the Sunday dinner in question. Our daughter lifted the sombre mood for our relatives and cheered up all the elderly ladies in the ward as well as my grandmother.