Lockdown Children.

My 7 year old DGS who has Down Syndrome is thriving. He is in a small main stream school and last week came home with a gold star for additions! He looked so proud of himself. He is obsessed with numbers

my daughter is a NHS podiatrist and has worked through out the whole thing
The podiatry department here is offering telephone appointments only. Two minutes and then dismissed!

My Granddaughter is 10, they do a programme at school called Doodle they were able to continue to use it at home, it helps towards Math, spelling and English, she is on day 200 consecutive days, I’m proud she chose to continue with it all through lockdown.

Many years ago, when I was at school, the girls all learned how to cook and sew, housecraft as it was known. Boys did woodwork and metalwork. All of this running alongside
G.C.E s. Most people left school knowing the basics of keeping body and soul together in a civilized society. My children had cooking as part of a life-skills module, although I don't remember them learning to sew at school. My grandchildren also appear to have some cookery classes but not the number of classes their parents or grandparents had. Cooking has always been a big thing in my family and I take huge pleasure in cooking with my grandchildren just as my grandmother taught me. Girls collected items for their 'bottom drawers'. I still have a butter dish and toast rack bought 55years ago and they still look as good as new even though they are used frequently.
We seem to be missing out basic life-skills in our children's education these days.

Riverwalk

I don’t understand why health staff and social workers couldn’t
do their appointments why were they exempt my daughter is a NHS podiatrist and has worked through out the whole thing
their department still have patients coming into the clinics and my daughter still has to do domestic visits, most of her patients are elderly and cannot get to clinics,she has to visit them at home she has PPE of cause but the patients don’t even wear a mask.

I have been very worried about her doing this but I get “it’s my job and the patients need the treatment “
There has been no discussion at her work as to whether they should stop as other parts of the NHS have.

ooh!NoddingGanGan. you are strong... congratulations..

so.. where was I? oh parents should teach re nappies,

well imo and I am not humble on this... back to Government., top of the tree as it were..

the schools should have been empowered to not accept a child if still in nappies, (unless medical reason of course)

I think it was discussed, but never followed through... teachers of education,,shaking head here,, good grief...

This isn’t the fault of the children - the parents should not let this happen. I suspect these are the same children who started school still wearing nappies, with the parents thinking that teachers are surrogate parents.
Also, so many children eat only finger food at home (pizzas, hamburgers, etc).
All very sad.

I'm with polnan on this.
I don't think that austerity has anything to do with the ability of a child to function socially. It's all down to parental involvement and interest.
It's immensely telling that children now need to school to perform functions that were, hitherto, performed by parents, immensely telling and incredibly damning of modern society. I have had a constant battle with my DD over my DGD's table manners or lack thereof. She is such a poor eater and has been allowed to get down from the table and wander around during meals since she could toddle. When they visit here I am firm. If she gets down that's it, she doesn't get back up and her plate is cleared and there's no more food or snacks until the next meal time even if the meal currently underway hasn't been eaten. She eats with a knife and fork at the table not with her fingers.
I have had such tongue lashings from my DD about it and about her not being my child but hers and that she'll not put up with my interference. My reply has simply been not to bring the child to my house across mealtimes then as I won't put up with such a lack of table manners in my home. I don't have meals at my DD's house any more either. If I want to eat with animals, I'll go to a zoo.

I really do not know any of this all I can do is quote from my personal experience..

during the war! yes, the war years again.... I was 3 years old when the war started, my dad went off to war, my mom was left with me a 3 year old and my older brother, must have been about 6 years old.. he went to school, I did not..

mum had to go do what jobs she could to supplement the income.. .... so mostly she was out on and off throughout the day... nothing wrong with my potty training, and both my brother and I, knew how to use a knife and fork etc.. and read!!! I must have been about 5 years old before I went to school, no nurseries then.... I was a very good reader..

and good at spelling.. etc..

discipline!?? just my experience. large council estate , Birmingham,, nothing privileged there... got scholarship at age 10./11..

just saying.. deep sighs.

If you are juggling parenting with working from home, it may be much easier to pop on pull ups than to remind children or clear up any mess. Most children are already trained and would be upset if they had an accident.
Easier also to put children in front of the box or outside with finger food at lunch time. Using a knife and fork could continue at the evening meal if that is the normal practice, because even working parents would normally come home and cook for the evening meal.
Any regression reflects on the parents, not on schools, but it will be seen as yet another job for schools to put this right.
I wonder where the survey covered.
Happily, according to the Head of my DGC’s school in the north, and my DD’s school in the south, the children there, including the new EYFS children are as normal in terms of toileting and eating, so well done those parents!

when i heard this it annoyed me..... going back into nappies and forgetting how to use a knife and fork..... surely those are basic skills that are learnt at home!

Yes, children aren't pressured into early toilet training. The point being made by teaching staff though, is that these children were toilet trained, not using dummies, using cutlery pre-lockdown. Four months at home, followed by the long school holidays appear to have caused regression.

There is a trend for toilet training to be later in each generation. When I was a baby my mother got me out of nappies soon after my first birthday and my MIL reckoned she did this even earlier.
When mine were small, toilet training usually started around the second birthday, usually a bit earlier for girls and later for boys.
I noticed my DGC and other children 10 to 15 years ago were not trained until nearer their third birthday. If the trend is going upwards and summer babies start reception at just 4, I'm not surprised some are still in nappies.

for your granddaughter

petra, yes they do but its their culture, our culture is to use cutlery. Many of the Pakistani children in our area eat with hands at home but are equally at was with cutlery.

Maddyone, absolute agreement from me about the multitude of benefits children get from regular school attendance. I can't get beyond my belief we need a government that understands the needs of children and is prepared to invest in our future.

Oooops I mean Callistemon

Caklistemon I know, it’s a sad state of affairs for children. They have suffered so much during lockdown, and as you say, although schools are open now, all sporting activities have ceased again. So football, ballet, rugby, horse riding, and park run all off the agenda again. I mention those particular activities because those are the things my own grandchildren do, but there must be many others.
We must be grateful for small mercies, that children can still still go to school. School is the safest place some children have.

I'd like to point out that an awful lot of civilised/cultured, intelligent people eat with their hands.

maddyone schools may be open during the present lockdown in England but there are not sporting activities taking place eg football clubs, mini-rugby or netball clubs.

In fact, sport in schools has had to be completely rearranged as contact sports or even passing a ball to one another, is banned. One of our DGD was beginning to thoroughly enjoy netball and had been picked for the school team but that has now stopped.

As an ex teacher I’ve been banging on about children’s need to go to school on several threads. Lockdown was hugely damaging for many children, which is why we cannot lock children down again. Toilet training and dummies are the least of the problem. The biggest problem for young children of nursery or primary age, is that school or nursery gives children the ability to develop personally, socially, and emotionally. The proper development of these key areas help children grow up to be emotionally resilient. With growing mental health issues in society, we need children to develop their emotional resilience.
Secondly, children need opportunities to develop physically if they are to grow up strong and healthy. Imagine a child of six years, with no siblings, who lives in a cramped high rise flat with a parent who is depressed/alcoholic/ a drug user ( take your pick.) This parent hadn’t the ability or the inclination to help this child to learn, in any case there’s no computer, only a smart phone, and the parent is unwilling to take the child out to exercise, and in any case the playgrounds were closed. Perhaps the parent isn’t hungry (depression, alcoholism, or drug use all suppress appetite) and so the child just gets whatever he/she can find in the cupboard to eat. This state of affairs was the reality for many children during the first lockdown. Sadly I’m entirely unsurprised that OFSTED have found children’s development to have been impaired by lockdown.

Apologies Miss Adventure, for not quoting you accurately. You're right about the lack of basic skills showing something is wrong. Your list of contributors is correct.
There are no easy or free solutions to this. I believe we need a government that cares, invests in our future. We don't need more working groups, investigations we know what the problems are.

Well, I actually said bad parenting, which is a lot different.

I think a lack of basic skills shows that something is wrong, somewhere.
Again, it could be due to lack of money, lack of motivation, depression, addiction, poor housing, physical illness, and many other reasons, which I'm well aware of, and not in denial about, having faced some of those myself.

Or, conversely, an ex of mine didn't teach his child to use cutlery because he said it was a social construct, which served no real purpose in order to eat nourishing food.

Miss Adventure, my reading of this thread isn't that those of us who point to austerity/need for sure start family centres, preventive and support work, are not refusing to accept there are what you call 'bad parents'.

My concern is that neglect, emotional and physical abuse are increasing. Austerity, closure of support services including drug and alcohol services for parents are contributing to the increase. We have 100,000 children in the care of the state in this country. 20 % increase in the death or serious injury of infants by their caregivers in this pandemic period.
This is a national scandal.
We have serious problems in our culture/society. The level of drug and alcohol abuse is shocking. It's culturally acceptable for people to see getting drunk as the normal way to celebrate. We need a government that is brave enough to face up to the impact of the austerity programme and to invest in our children, they are our future

Why are some people uncomfortable when others say that part of the problem is bad parenting. Bad parenting exists, it has always existed and while for some parents it is because of all the the pressures they are under. For many there is no excuse other than laziness and indifference.

Actually, regression is a normal coping technique in toddlers and preschoolers.

Children have been under a lot of stress due to lockdown - no school or nursery, mum and dad at home more, changes in routines, can't leave the house, masks, etc. Even if mum and dad do their best to shield the children from what's happening, the children will pick up on their parents' stress.

I am not surprised we are seeing regression.