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Distracted needed please - very, very stressed

(139 Posts)
FannyCornforth Wed 11-Nov-20 10:14:59

Hello everyone
I was uncertain as to whether start a thread about this. I know that you will be lovely so here goes.
My husband was taken to hospital with Covid related stuff yesterday.
( We have been shielding, so it's a bit of a shock, but I hope you don't mind if I don't talk about that, as it's too distressing.)

What I'd love please are some ideas of how to gently distract myself.
I love audio books, so would love some recommendations.
To me, the voice is more important than the story.
I love reading on my Kindle too.
I'm a bit spaced out (I've started taking a higher dose of Amitriptyline for my nerve pain) so can't concentrate on much.
I'm spending most of my time in bed.
I suppose I just want to chat please.
I'm about to get up, put a wash on and feed the pets.
Looking forward to reading your suggestions when I come back upstairs.
Thank you so much in advance xx

janipans Thu 12-Nov-20 13:54:06

When my mind just won't switch off, I do the Daily Mail quizzes and games on my computer or play Spider Solitaire on it. It's amazing how you can get absorbed. (You have to subscribe to the Mail, but you get the gist of the idea - quizzes and puzzles online!)
I also do lots of online competitions (joined one of those comp websites) - a hobby with benefits (sometimes), that can be done in short (or long) bursts - (I won £250 of clothing this week from Asquith!).

Flopsey Thu 12-Nov-20 13:55:06

I managed to download for free two audio books by David Niven, Bring On The Empty Horses “
and ‘ The Moon’s A Balloon’ read by the man himself.
Both very funny, and enjoyable.
It’s lovely seeing so many kind, caring and helpful messages from the Gransnet community at it’s best.

LauraNorder Thu 12-Nov-20 14:09:37

I don’t have any experience of audio books but didn’t want to pass by without wishing you and Mr C well. Hope you come back with some good news soon.

Namsnanny Thu 12-Nov-20 14:12:35

Flopsey ... I've read The Moons a Balloon many years ago. I was as you say very enjoyable.

If you dont mind me asking where did you find it? I should like to revisit it and listening to his voice after all this time would be very nice!

FannyCornforth .... hope you have better news today, and had a restful night. flowers

Callistemon Thu 12-Nov-20 14:31:55

Flopsey I had The Moon's a Balloon many years ago (probably a 1st edition!) but it went out when clearing out before one of our house moves sad.

Fanny I hope your DH is recovering and you're feeling better today too.
flowers

Bluecat Thu 12-Nov-20 14:37:13

Very sorry to hear your husband is ill, and I hope he is better soon.

For distraction, I recommend the Jeeves and Wooster books by P G Wodehouse, read by Martin Jarvis. They're funny and gentle, and Jarvis reads them brilliantly. They're very comforting.

Grannmarie Thu 12-Nov-20 15:01:49

Fanny, Marionk, so sorry to hear about your husbands, I hope they both recover soon.

I find magazines are a good distraction, when anxiety means you don't have the concentration for a novel. I particularly like Yours which comes out fortnightly and you can pick it up in the supermarket, or get a friend to pop it through your letterbox if you are isolating.

During the first lockdown I used to sit on the garden bench, reading the articles or completing the puzzles, I found it quite relaxing.
Be kind to yourselves.

GrauntyHelen Thu 12-Nov-20 15:46:03

Sorry to hear about your husband OP I find lots of interesting things to listen to onBBC Sounds Of course you will be self isolating for a time now since you are a close contact so I hope you have the necessary support to do so There are local groups who will fetch shopping and walk pets but there will also be a local authority telephone number to get any help you need arranged Hugs to you and all good wishes to your husband

Benje Thu 12-Nov-20 15:58:59

Hi fanny
So sorry I hope he is well soon
I have re discovered my love of jigsaw puzzles the harder and more peices the better and so easy to become absorbed in for a couple of hours distraction set up in a space where you can leave intact and keep going back to it
Also can’t beat fresh air even if just your own garden listen to the birds, the neighbours children etc and just breath it all in
Good luck

Molly10 Thu 12-Nov-20 16:02:36

I would have said go for a long walk but as you are shielding you are maybe not able to do that.

Make some pies or casseroles etc. Portion up what you make to fill the freezer. Freezer too full well defrost some of the older stuff and replace with the newly made, dated and labelled accordingly.

Clean the fridge out while you are on. Think you'll definitely be ready for a cup of tea and feet up then.

Keeping your hands and mind busy are the most important things.

Big hugs x

grannie7 Thu 12-Nov-20 16:11:24

FannyCornforth
You have all my sympathy Hope your husband is given a proper diagnosis quickly and treated.
I suffer from spinal stenosis as well it’s very painful and debilitating I take a cocktail of strong pain killers but they never depress the pain enough.

I was offered pain relief injections and they have saved my life
I get them twice a year “can’t have more than that as there are a great number of patients wanting them”

ask your doctor to refer to to a Pain Clinic most hospitals have them, the consultants are very sympathetic if you get offered the injections please try them the pain relief doesn’t last very long but I am grateful for the time the pain is eased.

Really hope things buck up for you soon.?

reelashosser Thu 12-Nov-20 17:24:02

So sorry for your trouble, Fanny Cornforth. My usual distraction is retail therapy, and as all the shops are closed, that one is out! It's just not the same online, unfortunately. I listen to audible books at night as I don't sleep very well. I would recommend The Cazalet series by Elizabeth Jane Howard, and at present I am reading Jojo Moyes' latest and I think her best book, The Giver of Stars, and can't put it down.

I've been distracting myself from boredom this year by doing painting by numbers for adults. Nothing like it was when I last did this in my teens! Look on Amazon and see what you think of the choice. I have the radio on while I do it, and become completely absorbed.

I hope you have good news about your husband very soon.

SuRu Thu 12-Nov-20 17:25:28

So sorry to hear this Fanny Cornforth. I hope your husband recovers soon. I find going through all the packets of photos that I've not (yet!) put into albums a very pleasurable way to spend a few hours. Also, I'm a big fan of a walk outside, especially on a lovely day like today. Hope all goes well.

Kamiso Thu 12-Nov-20 17:52:51

Sorry to hear this news. Such a worry and so disappointing when you have tried so hard to stay safe. They do seem to know much more about treatment now so hope you will get some good news soon.

Look after yourself and stay safe.

hollysteers Thu 12-Nov-20 17:53:44

Dear Fanny, what a hard time for you. I wish these comments had a like button as there are so many good suggestions, some of which I may try myself.
A period of stress not so long ago led me to indulge in long hot soaks in the bath, I usually jump in and out of the shower. I bought beautifully scented bath oils and bombs to go with it, Classic FM on the radio and a battery operated light which changes colour. I ordered rose and violet creams online, together with books I really fancied (and they had to have a beautiful cover!) If you can’t concentrate too much, diaries and letters of people you are interested in is a good idea, as you can just pick them up, read a page and not lose the plot.
When my three week old son had life saving surgery, I read Pepys’s diaries as I couldn’t concentrate on a novel.
Writing letters can be satisfying, particularly to anyone housebound and I love sending postcards.
I have the ‘Calm’ app on my iPad and I love some of the stories. Particularly those involving a train journey and children’s stories are very comforting.
Sending good wishes to you both.

mphammersley Thu 12-Nov-20 18:00:29

Sorry to hear your husband is in hospital, sending you both my best wishes, and a big hug.
I don't know if you like playing games, but I play Words with Friends, my husband downloaded the app ages ago for me. It is basically Scrabble, and you take turns. You can play once or twice a day, you don't have to play a whole game in a day, but I enjoy it. I have the option of playing against my husband, son, daughter and daughter in law. They are enough to keep me going.

My friend has just started watching the new All Creatures Great and Small and says it is lovely to watch. I have not got round to it yet.

I am finding sitting too much during lockdown is making my hip and back pain much worse, so I am trying to move about more. It is getting a bit chilly for gardening, but even 30 minutes out there wrapped up warm helps.

I hope you find your distraction, and all is well soon x

Newatthis Thu 12-Nov-20 18:17:37

Why are you spending most of the time in bed is it because of your nerve pain. I think the best thing to do if you can is get up, get showered and then get busy and I know you’ve asked for suggestions and all of them are very good. But I find that if I lose around in my dressing gown for pyjamas it stops me doing stuff and just makes me feel a little bit more lazy.

Meta Thu 12-Nov-20 19:51:38

Wishing all the very best to you and your husband. Don’t know whether this will be of help to you or any others- I have found the Insight Timer app an amazing resource during difficult times- many mindful calming sessions to enjoy just choose your time and from the range of topics.

JennyCee Thu 12-Nov-20 20:14:53

Try the John Le Care audio books, with him reading. He has lovely mellifluous voice and you have to concentrate on the plot. Good for forgetting the outside world, which I hope goes well for you

Marydoll Thu 12-Nov-20 20:17:20

I haven't noticed Fanny posting today, I hope she is OK.

Badgranma Thu 12-Nov-20 20:41:07

The life of Rylan on audio book. Rylan Clark Neal. You don’t need to concentrate and his narration is so conversational it’s like he’s chatting away to you. Gives an insight into reality tv and he is such a flamboyant figure it’s real escapism. If you don’t like him however, you would hate it, it’s a bit Marmite. Made me laugh out loud on the beach.

tictacnana Fri 13-Nov-20 00:22:27

When stressed, I read my favourite book / Daughter of Time by Josephine Tay. I also have an audio version read by Derek Jacobi and there’s another version read by Paul Young ( not the pop star). I listened to it whilst I’m hospital a couple of years ago and found it distracting and comforting . Also, I love to draw and paint childhood memories or write about them. My g/kids love to share the stories too.

Kamiso Fri 13-Nov-20 02:35:45

Marydoll

I haven't noticed Fanny posting today, I hope she is OK.

Just checked n as I am concerned. Do hope all is well.
Very late now so will check in tomorrow.

FannyCornforth Fri 13-Nov-20 08:23:26

Hello everyone!
I'm here! smile
Thank you everyone for every single messages, you are wonderful people flowers
I'm so sorry that I haven't been on for a while; I think that that is one of the reasons why I didn't know whether to start a thread - that I may not be emotional robust to read and reply without getting overemotional (clue: I couldn't).

I've read only a few responses so far, but I promise that I will read them all properly today, and give them the attention they deserve.

Anyway. Crucially - MrC is doing amazingly well.
He had / has had Covid and pneumonia. They also suspected a blood clot, but there isn't one.
He's responding well to everything that they are doing. And he is now out of the Covid ward.
I'm not sure exactly what is going on as I have to rely on piecing together bits of information from him, and he's not the most reliable narrator at the best if times.
It seems that he will be home in a few days, God willing.
This seems nothing short of miraculous.
It seemed utterly impossible only two or three days ago.

Thank you again everyone flowersbrewsunshine

FannyCornforth Fri 13-Nov-20 08:24:23

Kamiso I'm sorry for causing unnecessary worry