"Punctuality is the politeness of Kings" ?

I’m another that believes people who tell me 10.30 - if they mean 11.30, surely they’d say so?

Most tardy folks turn up on time for flights, interviews etc because they know they’ll miss out otherwise- it does seem to concentrate their minds!

Telling people a time you don't mean is also rude, I think. What if they're not "in the know" about local peculiarities?

When I went with a friend to Dublin to visit her Irish cousins they’d all have been mortified if we’d turned up at the specified time. The rule in the RoI is add an hour at least!
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I can't stand people being late and find that it takes a few minutes fo me to be genuinely nice

I try never to be late as it sends me into a panic and it is just bad manners

Yes, Summerlove you could be right, but I think that her mother is inclined to panic and go into "helpless" mode. My friend did apologise for the late response, but said she'd had to make phone calls on her mother's behalf .

My friend is a very honest person, so I am inclined to believe her.

She's now planning to come tomorrow afternoon, and has said she will message when she's on her way, which in all fairness is what she usually does.

phoenix

She's just messaged. Her step father (who isn't in good health) has been taken quite poorly, so she's had to go there to help her mother.

I feel guilty now for complaining.

Don’t feel guilty

She should have still texted earlier

I've met people who just don't get the idea of being on time for anything.

A teacher at a night class I went to used to have to catch the train home afterwards. It was the last train to her destination and timing was tight. We would take it in turns to give her a lift but nobody could make her see that if she hung around tidying up or chatting, then she would miss the train. She didn't seem to mind but those of us who were of a "punctual disposition" used to go crazy! A couple of times she did miss it and had to get a very expensive taxi home.

Being late for anything is rude and can cause problems. I was kept waiting for ages at the dentist's one time and was told that several people had turned up late for appointments which messed up the whole day.

I am a Spanish anomaly! The 'mañana ... mañana' attitude has never worked for me. My cousins drive me BONKERS because they are incapable of being on time for anything.
I always considered it a lack of respect to be late; took it very personally if someone was late for an agreed appointment and let them know in no uncertain terms, regardless of whether they were superior or lower rank, I did not care.
Like most of the people writing on this thread, my problem is that I am always early.

I like to be punctual, or early, if arriving early is not going to inconvenience anyone. I agree that being late is impolite.

Once, many years ago, we were invited to Sunday lunch with friends, as a family. My husband made the arrangement as he knew them through work and no specific time was set. We went to church as a family and went straight to their house, arriving about 12.15 ish. It was far too early for them! We didn't expect to eat straightaway but the wife was in a right tizzy. She was still having a good clean and tidy up, hoovering etc and the joint of beef was not yet in the oven, so we went for a walk round the village. We still had to wait a really long time for the meal and we were all really hungry, especially the children. After that I always made sure to check what time we should arrive when we were invited anywhere.

I used to meet a relative in town. I was always on time myself and I'm fairly flexible with waiting around for others for up to about 15 minutes. People can get stuck in traffic ext. However, this relative used to think nothing of turning up and hour or hour and a half late. Seemed to think that as we were meeting where there were seats to sit on it was ok to keep me waiting that long. The excuse was often traffic, but she drove in and the town was 20 minutes away so clearly she hadn't even set out at the time we were supposed to meet up.

I realized, as others have said, that she clearly thought her own time was more important than mine so when complaints had no effect I stopped meeting her in town. I'm still very fond of her and will meet occassionally at her house, where I am in charge of the comings and goings. Can't think why she thought it was ok to do this to me, I have several long standing friends and other family members I meet up with and none of them would think of doing this to me. I am no pushover. I probably put up with it a bit too long for old times childhood memories sake.

My late (no pun intended) much loved step father could send my mother into an apoplectic frenzy with his awful time keeping!

He would wander in from the garden, announce he would just have a quick shower, get ready and be down soon. She would be dressed and ready to go.

I was quite surprised because he came from a titled family and had impeccable manners in all other respects.

Eventually we all resorted to lying about the time that we were expected, bringing it forward by around half an hour.

Was still sometimes a close run thing though!

I am untidy, prone to laziness, but always punctual. With mobiles now, it is easy to send a quick text along the lines of 'bit of a problem, running late, with you at xxx'. I think the Japanese have it right, they treat being late as a 'theft of time' from the person kept waiting. Very apt.

'Five minutes early'....that's me

It can go to extremes....as I said I’m very punctual but if we are flying somewhere my bloke will want to be at the airport half a day before the flight.....

Five minutes early is on time
On time is late
Late is unacceptable

Can't remember where I saw this but I like it.

Actually, she is quite often late. I said to Mr P that she was coming at 10.30, and he said "That means nearer 11"" , but she doesn't usually keep me waiting for an hour, and generally she does message to say if she's running late.

I think she probably got a bit flustered when her mother phoned to say step father wasn't well.

Both my husband and I are obsessively punctual and agree that by far the most exasperating thing is when matters are beyond your control, eg waiting for someone. However I must say that it has got worse over the years and now I have developed my father’s habit of pressing for a time when someone says “I’ll pop over tomorrow afternoon”. Really the choice is do I want you to find me cleaning out the kitchen cupboards because I didn’t know when to expect you, or do I sit primly on the sofa pretending to flick through a magazine with one eye on the window. I suppose this is also linked with a compulsion to keep busy which I didn’t realise I had!!

The reason for her tardiness is very sad, but at least you now know that there was a valid reason and she wasn't just being inconsiderate. No need for you to feel guilty - how were you to know!

Unless there’s a very good reason for being late, it is just plain rude. I have one very good friend who is renowned for it. I always give her a 3/4 hour earlier time. It seems to work so she arrives ‘on time’. On the other hand if I arrive at her designated time she is never ready so I aim to arrive 3/4 hour later ?.
However hard I try not to, I seem to arrive on the dot and have been known to walk round the block a couple of times so as not to appear too eager ?

Without an explanation is even worse. I can't be doing with anyone who's late. I take after mum in that respect, it was one of her deadly sins toward those who were late and woe betide.

It’s one of the few things I can pride myself on in fact I m the one there with a quarter of an hour to spare waiting for everyone else and I m the one at the airport or train station with hours to spare
Well she did have a valid reason this time so we ll let her off but that’s the last chance ?

I expect you do, but to be fair a text to you just before she left the house would have sorted this!

She's just messaged. Her step father (who isn't in good health) has been taken quite poorly, so she's had to go there to help her mother.

I feel guilty now for complaining.

That is a long time to be kept waiting Phoenix I must admit I am often late by five or ten minutes but any longer and I would be calling to explain and apologise.
Hope your friend has arrived now and is suitably apologetic.