Am I being over sensitive

If I were you, I'd probably be examining every interaction I'd ever had with them and asking myself if what he said had any merit. It might have been a throw away remark or it could be how "he" feels. His wife probably feels very different from him regardless and I wouldn't let his tactlessness interfere with my friendship.
Perhaps you could look at how he is normally with his humour. Does he say things to other people which might make you wince? Is he more of a loner than a socialiser? Does he suffer from depression sometimes? There are lots of things which might make people say things in the moment that they don't really mean. That isn't necessarily any more excusable but would negate how you vulnerable you should feel.
Finally, don't let it ruin your confidence. You can't be everybody's cup of tea, especially when couples are involved.

You never know what goes on behind closed door's.????Take it with a pinch of salt and be grateful you aren't married to another Victor Meldrew.

What an odd thing to say! No wonder you are wondering what he meant. I would probably have said straight away: What do you mean? Because I've learned that I can worry sometimes about the occasional chance remark and blow it out of proportion. It's easier said than done, I know, but perhaps next time you see him you can just casually ask about it, and say you were a bit hurt by his remark.

I certainly wouldn’t end a friendship over one random remark. Meet your friend for a walk, and see what develops.

I think he was just a smart alec trying to be amusing and didn't think about what he was saying. Chewbacca is right, his wife wanted a walk with you to explain what an idiot her DH is and to apologise. I hope she gave him hell.

He'd probably heard that said as a joke and been waiting for an opportunity to try it out. Personally I'd not take it to heart. Anyway, real friendship isn't conditional or about being perfect and even if the comment did express his real feelings it dosn't mean you aren't friends. Some of my best and longest friendships are with exasperating people, we give each other a little slack and tolerate ineptitudes and failings (just as well or I'd have no friends left).

I must have an abnormally thick skin as I would have laughed!

Dont worry about him, cultivate her instead. She sounds like a nice lady.

Silly man! Probably thought he was making a clever, topical joke. I'd pity the wife and ignore the tactless comment.

socially gauche comes to my mind ..

him not you!

Men get grumpy as they age. It's their failing intellectual powers and the increasing lack of appropriate restraint and manners. I'd take plenty of no notice.

He was in the wrong but I'd ignore it. It's pretty obvious people are seeing less of each other because of lockdowns and being careful in general.

Your friend was probably embarrassed and, if you say anything, she will feel worse and it could interfere with your friendship.

Not a nice thing to say. His wife was probably mortified. Give him a wide berth from now on.

I remember visiting my sister and on leaving I said I'll come and visit again sometime and her husband shouts well we won't be visiting yours I was absolutely gobsmacked at that remark. He has since died.

Rude comment and really says it all. If someone said that to me (and I couldn’t think of something to say back) I’d give them a wide berth next time.

Just a silly man who thought he was being witty and a rude man too. Don’t overthink it but next time be ready?

I used to have to apologise for my ex H as he said thoughtless things especially to certain friends of mine. If I told him off afterwards he often didn't get what the problem was. I know now how much better off I am without him. There are some men you can't take anywhere - unless it is to apologise for a previous visit!

I'd give the wife the benefit of the doubt and suggest that walk as she may well want to apologise for him. You have nothing to lose by giving her the opportunity. What happens after that will depend how it goes but I wouldn't throw away 20 years of friendship too lightly.

Don't penalise her for his bad manners. She probably finds his comments embarrassing, and she has kindly contacted you with an invitation.
I had the same with a friends partner who was rude and sarcastic, and she told me he does it to many of her friends and it upsets her.

I'm a bit over sensitive myself, but being objective, and not actually knowing the usual relationship you have had, I would say it was probably not meant the way it sounded, and men (especially, sorry men!) do put their foot in their mouths without bad intent sometimes. The wife wouldn't have suggested the walk if they (or she, at least) really didn't want to be bothered with you. And they could have entirely ignored you instead of speaking. I'd let this one remark pass and forget it, if you'd miss the friendship at all.

Last year a close friend,who to be honest is not known for her tact,said something that really hurt me. I was so stunned I didn't say anything at the time. I mentioned it to my daughter who went on to tell my friend how upset i was. She called and was very upset to have upset me. It was a throw away comment. All fine now.
After i had blooded on it however i must admit there was a grain of truth in the comment even if what was said was hurtful and tactless.
We are living in strange times and its affected people in different ways. I dont think you are being too sensitive, I would have been taken aback if someone said that to me.
Its handy to have a comeback ready. I would meet up with the wife and see where it goes. Maybe her husband is someone who dislikes socialising but does it because its expected or to please his wife. Many introverts are actually enjoying having an excuse to opt out. It probably says more about him than anything you've said or done.
It can be surprising how little we know someone even if we've known them a long time,people often only let us see what they want us to.
I hope you find resolution soon.

I speak to a friend twice a week on FaceTime and her husband says things like’havent you got a home to go to’. I take it as a joke and a sign of affection.

Maya Angelou "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time."
Now you know who they are, even if it was said in jest, you know. With this knowledge how you proceed is up to you. We all say the wrong thing sometimes or people misunderstand something we have said. If there is genuine love and respect misunderstandings can be overcome but we do not forget.

I probably would have said something funny, because that’s what I do when taken by surprise. Did the wife say anything to her husband? I think I would have done. It’s done now, so just leave it this time. He may have a real problem with you, and hiding it behind a joke, or it may have just been meant in a lighthearted way. Either way, there’s no problem ignoring it in the first instance, but be ready for him next time.

Yes, I think you are being unreasonable. Life is to short to get so upset and possibly lose a friend for the sake of one tactless remark . Husbands and wives don't always feel the same about each other's friends. Just get over it and perhaps revive your sense of humour at the same time!

When people say things that take you back a bit, I’ve now trained myself to ask straight away “ sorry, what was that ?” It saves me hours of overanalysing and maybe getting it wrong !

It's just the kind of thing I'd say too.

ttgran, you can't really know whether he 'meant it' - by his tone of voice or his expression. Some of us have perfected our deadpan humour!

Maybe you're inclined to take life (and yourself) a little too seriously?