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Am I being over sensitive

(90 Posts)
ttgran Sat 14-Nov-20 20:03:09

Someone who I socialise with at sport and social known for twenty years passing their garden wife says hello not seen you for a while husband says "yes normally you are over us like a rash"
Bear in mind not spoken or rang them for six weeks but pre covid we met as a group weekly.Thought we got on but obviously not

avitorl Sat 14-Nov-20 20:08:34

I wouldn't over think it.He probably meant nothing by it.

Luckygirl Sat 14-Nov-20 20:10:42

I think you need to let this wash by - sometimes people open their mouths and put their foot in it with no negative intent. I am sorry it has upset you.

Lexisgranny Sat 14-Nov-20 20:15:24

Don’t take it to heart, he has probably got the lockdown blues.. I think Covid has left some people remaining much the same, with a few ups and downs, some are sensitive and others a bit grouchy. Please don’t upset by a single remark, it’s just not worth it, the he time you meet he will probably have forgotten all about it.

Summerlove Sat 14-Nov-20 20:15:35

I’d be quite hurt by that honestly.

Try to let it pass you by, but pay attention to cues once socialising is allowed again.

If something is mentioned in the future, I’d ask right away what that meant,

lemongrove Sat 14-Nov-20 20:16:12

Just a clumsy response to you, I doubt it means anything, let it go and don’t over analyse.

MrsThreadgoode Sat 14-Nov-20 20:17:16

I’m with Summerlove I would have been upset, but I would have asked him to explain why he said that.
Get it out in the open, rather than think they are talking about it behind closed doors.

merlotgran Sat 14-Nov-20 20:22:53

Don't let it upset you but be one step ahead the next time you meet him. Have a few retorts up your sleeve just in case.

Nothing worse than a smart a**e. grin

suziewoozie Sat 14-Nov-20 20:46:08

You are not being over sensitive at all - it was a rotten thing to say and he did mean something by it. There’s nothing to over analyse at all - he’s horrible, that’s quite simple.

EllanVannin Sat 14-Nov-20 20:48:19

I'd have laughed ! But that's my sense of humour which can confuse some.

B9exchange Sat 14-Nov-20 20:50:17

I think it depends how it was said. With a grin it would be a [possibly bad] attempt at a joke, with a straight face I might have been tempted to ask him what he meant?

welbeck Sat 14-Nov-20 20:54:07

it does sound and feel unpleasant to me. avoid them.

merlotgran Sat 14-Nov-20 21:09:46

I don't think it's ever a good idea to call somebody out and ask what they mean. It makes you the victim.

Just a curt, 'How rude' or a sarcastic, 'Clearly Lockdown has been an advantage for you then.' would have made him realise you were not impressed.

If you have to be in his company again ignore any intimidating remarks.

Be the better person.

CanadianGran Sat 14-Nov-20 21:20:02

I would have taken it as an insult as well. I like Merlot's response. Perhaps next time you see him, you can mutter something about an 'itchy rash'.

lemsip Sat 14-Nov-20 21:32:11

bet his wife took care of it when they went inside so forget lt! some people have no filter!

Grandmabatty Sat 14-Nov-20 21:35:56

Does he have form for walking about with his foot firmly stuck in his mouth? It is an unpleasant comment, even if he meant it as a joke. A joke is only funny if both parties laugh. I would ignore it but distance myself from them slightly.

crazyH Sat 14-Nov-20 21:36:16

Next time you see him, ask him "how's your rash?" 😂

ttgran Sat 14-Nov-20 21:53:21

It was not said in a joking manner I was taken aback by the comment that came out of the blue that I failed to respond how I should have also the fact he said “us”made me think they have a problem with me
The wife did ring the next day and suggest we went for a social distance walk something they have never suggested during lockdown I said no thanks probably petty but still failing to understand why
Appreciate in the great scheme of life not important but feel let down by someone who I thought was a friend

TrendyNannie6 Sat 14-Nov-20 21:59:39

He sounds a real charmer,

merlotgran Sat 14-Nov-20 22:08:13

Are you friends with them as a couple or is it the wife who is your friend and he's a hanger on?

Lots of men are jealous of their wives friendships which prompts them to make Smart Alec comments.

If you like the wife, don't drop her because of him as that's probably what he wants.

Chewbacca Sat 14-Nov-20 22:12:27

The wife did ring the next day and suggest we went for a social distance walk something they have never suggested during lockdown

I reckon that the wife did that because, after they'd gone indoors, she gave her husband a rocket for being so rude to you. Perhaps she wanted to go on a walk with you so that she could apologise?

ttgran Sat 14-Nov-20 22:14:01

Friends with both l

ttgran Sat 14-Nov-20 22:14:31

Friends with both

V3ra Sat 14-Nov-20 22:20:30

ttgran it's a real "know your place" moment isn't it?
Years ago I had a friend with small children, as did I.
One day I was at her house, the children were playing and she'd made me a cup of tea.
Her husband arrived home.
I drank my tea, said my good-byes and left.
Next time I saw her, the little girl said, "My daddy came home and you didn't go."
Well I never made that mistake again! 😕

merlotgran Sat 14-Nov-20 22:21:25

Don't lose the wife's friendship over it. Like Chewbacca has said, she probably gave him hell. I know I would have done.

Some men just never engage brain before opening mouth. grin