The Christmas that is mine.

For us it will be the first Christmas not seeing family, Having lost my lovely mum last December this year was always going to be difficult even without Covid. But I am determined to make it a lovely day for us both, The decorations are already up. We shall zoom with DD and GS in the morning, have a turkey dinner with all the trimmings, board games in the afternoon and a Christmas film in the evening. In these difficult times we have to do the best with what we can do and not worry about what we can't.

For many years we live next door to my husband’s brother. We alternated Christmas between their house and our hour plus a few stragglers with between 14 and 16 for dinner . We loved it the kids were all teenagers at the time . Ten years ago I moved house with my daughter and family . We host dinner each year but it’s just us and my sons with their families and our Thai friend. The more the merrier .

My mum is 86 and every Christmas she reiterates how important it is for people to please themselves because the festive tinetable throughout her entire married life was dictated by her in laws. It’s sad to see how this still upsets her. So , thankfully, we do what we want to do and our 3 children are all free to do and go whatever and wherever they want and I don’t take offence. I think it’s so sad to see families getting so upset about what should be the season of goodwill! Be kind x

We will go to DS1 ‘s for Christmas dinner. It will be relaxed and enjoyable. His wife and 2 girls ,aged 11 and 14 , make us welcome and we’ll have fun. Boxing Day is a different kettle of fish. They all come to us. 16 of us . Buffet lunch , present opening, fun and games. DD falling out with her DP . My DH getting irritable and dufficult, GC ‘s over excited and unruly. They all leave early evening and we clear up the debris and sit and watch T.v, relieved that another Christmas is over. ??

This year Christmas day will feel quite odd for a number of reasons. It's our first Christmas since my Dad passed away last May, and previous Christmases for the last few years centred around His and my Step mother's needs, playing ' Meals on Wheels' service to them which involved a 30mile round trip with a full hot 3 course Christmas Lunch on-board plus extra Turkey and trimmings for a sandwiches later, plus a Sherry trifle. To achieve all this and have their dinner delivered and on the table for them by 12noon, ment a 6am start for me, with the Turkey being put in the oven to roast. We had to be ready and packed to leave home by 11am, Get them seated with their meal by 12 noon, then leave and dash back home for about 2pm to reheat our Christmas Lunch in the microwave. We had very little chance to see any of our Daughters and Grandchildren on Christmas day, despite them all living fairly Local. However, my youngest Daughter did take pity on us last year and invite us round for Christmas Tea with our Grandchildren, which was nice, and it also helped stop DH from being grumpy as he remembers loosing his Mother to a heart attack on Christmas day a few years ago.
This year, due to Covid, we are just planning a quiet day at home, just a simple lunch for the two of us, no tight time schedule to have to keep to, and no big Turkey to roast, just a fresh Turkey Breast Joint from a local butcher, a pot of ready to steam fresh Vegetables, and a few trimmings, Job done!

Myself and my husband have always had Christmas together on our own without visitors, or visiting - in fact my whole (small) family is the same. We live in the South West and my family live in the North West, my husband's family in the South East - its just too much trouble to be travelling every Christmas. We will have our normal quiet Christmas alone - but with tons of presents (I'm a big kid at Christmas and have brought my husband around to my way of thinking over the years lol!) , and lots of lovely food and drink - I adore Christmas and we always make a big deal of it (we're childless so nobody else to please but us) but covid will make zero difference to our plans for this year.

All my family (parents plus my sister and her husband) prefer to celebrate in our own homes at Christmas - my sister and her husband will visit our parents either Christmas Eve or Boxing Day (as would we if we still lived in the same part of the country). We love our quiet and personal Christmas - no stress, no fuss, no entertaining - we've even had our Christmas dinner on Boxing Day sometimes because we cannot be bothered on Christmas Day itself

I don't want to hog the thread but before I head off to bed I just want to say thank you for the good wishes.

Plans are afoot for a 'no negativity' Christmas chez merlot and I do like a plan.

It's looking like there might just be the two of us this year. It feels like a blessed relief, simply because I find it all so exhausting every year and not as much fun as when the kids were little. If that's the case, there will be no decorations, no tree and no excess of food. I shall put out the little crib only and focus on the spiritual side. We'll have a nice dinner and just relax. However, I'm sure there will be a few tears too. Think I'll be glad when it's over tbh.

annsixty I guess I was lucky in my mother. She was a wonderful, caring, giving person, who would never have controlled me or my sisters in that way. I am so sorry you went through this too, as have so many others on here. To me it is just unimaginable. Yes, as I say, I was lucky, and I miss my mum every day. for you.

I have cooked Christmas dinner for the last 20 years but this year we are supposed to be going to my dd as she moved earlier this year to a bigger house. If it is allowed there will be DD, SIL, dgs, and my single DS but as he lives near London and we are down in the SW if he does come we will go and collect him as we don’t want him to travel by train if any are actually running.

Our younger DS is currently living in Thailand where he went in March as being in the entertainment industry (back stage) he could see that there would be no work for a long time, fortunately he has an income from property, so we will do a Zoom call sometime on Christmas Day.

I've never been one for traditions anyway. I suppose we followed them for the children when they were at home.

I'm not Christian so it's just the midwinter feast for me (and many others). This year, there's even more excuse to cut things right down.

I've sent the children money for the grandchildren's presents (no shopping), already have a cut down to the bare minimum cards list, won't decorate or do a tree, can eat what I really like to!

There are compensations to our 'festivities' this year!

When my children were small or should I say younger, we always had Christmas Day / dinner with just us ... it wasn’t keeping to ourselves or anything anti/social it was just us ! Christmas Eve was at my mums and Boxing Day was at my in-laws ... if we all just looked to our own little families it might be so much better ??? If you’ve got little children you don’t have to take them away from their toys and what is the most special thing at Christmas when you were a child ??? Home truly is where the heart it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Xxxxxxx

We have always had a quiet Christmas with only the close family so it isn’t going to be different this year.

We were going to the DD’s new house where she was going to host the PILs, two brothers and their partners and us, eleven in all but Covid has put paid to that.

So the DD and her husband, the DS and his partner and I will have a happy day doing what we want. The DD will probably not surface until very late ( don’t care), the DD, The DH and I will go for the traditional village walk and we will have fancy nibbles for lunch. More walks, a nap and afternoon tea and then Christmas dinner in the evening as a dinner party with Champagne and chocolates for pud.

No pressure, no expectations, no hassle. Lovely.

Merlotgran - thoughts so much with you - a hope for a peaceful christmas x [flowers flowers flowers]

Moggie57 - Ditto ? And it will be the same for me this Christmas. I'll be thinking of you.

We usually go to my DD, who lives quite near us. Her MiL is there and her sister in law with her two children. As DH doesn't drive any more, we leave the car there and get a taxi home. It's always lovely, she's a very good cook. Hope it's allowed this year. My stepdaughter always has her brother and her mother, we usually see her and her children at some point over the holidays.

Best wishes to you and you husband.x

Merlotgran

I wish you both a memorable Christmas.

I can’t believe how many parents have their adult children spend Christmas with them EVERY year, or have had to spend it with their own parents. Our 2 children take it in turns with their partners families and us, and if they wanted to spend it at their own homes , I would understand

That is so sad to hear merlotgran.
I hope you both have the most wonderful Christmas together.
?

For 51 years I have cooked Christmas dinner originally for people with no where to go then over the years single friends & family,always around 17 people,daren’t tell anyone but I’m quite looking forward to just my husband and I,usually it’s such chaos with all the allergies and different likes and dislikes.

All of these grand Christmas plans.
Probably none of us will be able to fulfill them.

A quote in today’s newspaper.

‘There is no point having a merry Xmas, then burying your relations in January’.

No you are not the only one!
I have told my son that I wouldn't mind if we have to stay at home, with just the two of us.
Normally we go to my sisters but I always feel guilty for my son as I don't drive and so he has to .
Some would say "why don't you invite your sister to your house then?" That would mean that none of her family would be able to drink which to some , might be no hardship, but to them, it is all part and parcel of Christmas and the reason they started inviting us in the first place!

Good attitude Missfoodlove
We don’t have any family in this country, so no problems there.

For the past few years, hubby and I have lived in rural areas, which have been prone to electricity "outages" (there is no gas supply, either) and as a result, have cooked Christmas Dinner on Christmas Eve, rather than Christmas Day (when everyone tends to be cooking!). We have "party food" on Christmas Day, i.e. some cold, some hot food at lunch and tea time, with a varied selection of things that could be termed "finger food" i.e. mini pies, pizza's, sausage rolls, salad items and cold meats, plus traditional mince pies, nuts and snacks etc. Much more relaxed!