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The Christmas that is mine.

(89 Posts)
Missfoodlove Thu 19-Nov-20 09:34:47

This year I’m not having to please anyone other than our immediate family.
I don’t have to abide by my in-laws traditions, my mothers traditions, it’s our turn now.
Am I the only one that had to do it their way and not our way?

FannyCornforth Thu 19-Nov-20 09:39:11

How lovely for you! It's good to hear a positive spin on Christmas 2020.

What are your plans Missfoodlove?

It would be lovely to hear others plans for a pared down, more intimate Christmas.

shysal Thu 19-Nov-20 09:43:42

I am looking forward to a day on my own. I shall cook a small piece of ham and buy some nice stinky cheese to eat with homemade bread, also a few other treats. I may not cook a roast dinner at all.
P.S. I have already eaten the contents of my peanut cup advent calendar!

Witzend Thu 19-Nov-20 09:49:55

I think quite a lot of people are feeling mightily relieved that they won’t have to do what is traditionally expected - especially if it involves charging here and there so that nobody’s nose will be out of joint - and having a nice peaceful day at home instead.

However, if this 5 day ‘relaxation period’ the media are mentioning, does come about....
I can see some of those people saying late in the day, ‘Oh, Lord, I’m afraid two of us have symptoms, we’d absolutely hate to pass it on...’ 😈

Reaps Thu 19-Nov-20 09:50:16

I too can finally have Xmas in my own home no long journey in traffic queues to the outlaws on Xmas eve. If the pubs were safe I would go on Xmas eve for a while then home with a takeaway. Then Xmas and Boxing Day. Just chill eating what and when I please not the usual regimented order we are subjected to. So although I can't do everything I would like with the socially distanced restrictions I have decided is right for me and all around me I will enjoy relaxing at home eating lovely food watching rubbish on television and sleeping in my own comfortable bed.

chaffinch Thu 19-Nov-20 09:57:24

All the years our children were small, Christmas was always at MIL’s home. DH came from a large family, it was expected that everyone went back home, up to 30 or so adults and children.

Dinner had to be eaten in two sittings, heaps of washing up, the women did everything while the men played cards, darts, dominoes.

DH loved it, but I didn’t, and our children, daughter in particular, does not look back on childhood Christmas days with much pleasure. They were not very close with any of the cousins, and were always pleased when it was time to go home, and play with their new toys.

MIL would have been very huffy if we hadn’t gone, but there was so many of us I don’t think we would have been missed.

NotSpaghetti Thu 19-Nov-20 10:12:40

We usually have a big get-together (those for whom this is possible) on Christmas Eve. We have a huge, noisy, take-away dinner and swap a few gifts to be opened the next day.
Christmas is laid-back and small. It works well for us this way.
This year I’ll miss Christmas Eve - as Christmas Day will be much the same as last year.

FlexibleFriend Thu 19-Nov-20 10:18:17

Nope I've always pleased myself and started as I intended to continue. We spent every Christmas day at home and no one was invited. If they were upset about it they kept it to themselves.

Beauregard Thu 19-Nov-20 10:59:22

This year we were due to have DS, his partner, her two children and the baby they have together for Christmas dinner. I remember last time they came for Christmas, two years ago, they arrived half an hour before the meal, sat looking at their phones while we prepared the food and left shortly after the meal was over. It was all very flat and the children were surly and uncommunicative. I wasn't looking forward to a repeat of that this year so am relieved it's not going to happen.

Christmas this year will be all about spoiling ourselves with nice food and I'm quite looking forward to it.

Nanny27 Thu 19-Nov-20 11:07:02

Beauregard I get it that you weren’t keen on your son’s family coming for dinner, but having the baby for Christmas dinner seems a bit extreme! A turkey is more traditional! 😂😂

Teacheranne Thu 19-Nov-20 11:07:55

I've never been forced to spend Christmas Day with people I don't want to be with! This year our numbers are depleted as my mum is now in a care home with Alzheimer's and unfortunately she would be too anxious to sound the day with us. My sister and brother in law will not be flying over from the US which they usually do.

I am hoping though that our reduced family of 9 people from 4 households will still be able to get together at my other sisters house. If not, I might well be on my own, in which case I'm going to get a takeaway delivery and stuff the traditions!

Beauregard Thu 19-Nov-20 11:11:54

Nanny27 😂😂😂 I just want to make it clear that no babies were harmed in the making of our Christmas dinner!!!

Gwenisgreat1 Thu 19-Nov-20 11:19:26

God willing, DH and I shall enjoy xmas dinner on Xmas eve with DD1, SIL and Dgd, Also DD2 and Gs. We go back on Xmas day to watch the children opening their presents. All very enjoyable and DD1 cooks the meal, though I provide the pudding, cake and mince pies.

EllanVannin Thu 19-Nov-20 11:29:06

People have always come to me. Ironically for the first year ever, my D had asked me to go to hers but I've declined, with D working amongst people, GS also working and the children going to school----it's asking for trouble. I'm safer on my own, with plenty of M&S goodies I'll not do too badly. D will have a house full I imagine.

No cooking to time as for years when D worked Christmas Day, she and GS would come along at teatime after her work and I'd be in the thick of it with half a dozens pans and the oven on the go, all timed.
Last year was no different and I had step-D staying a few nights as it was her first time alone and I didn't want that for her.

D will visit while we exchange presents etc and I'll be quite happy without the rushing involved. Warm, well fed, TV, t'internet, carols, what more does a girl want ?

Daddima Thu 19-Nov-20 11:29:48

Missfoodlove a couple of years ago I remember I asked how many of us would be spending Christmas EXACTLY as they wanted, and quite a number weren’t, so maybe the current situation will suit them.
Once again, my ‘best laid plans’ did ‘gang agley’, so it looks like no Canarian Christmas for me. I’ll be quite happy to go to sons or stay home, I’m not much fussed.

Regards,
Mrs Scrooge.

annsixty Thu 19-Nov-20 11:40:05

For any years we were under a very strict three line whip to go to y mother’s house.
It was cramped and uncomfortable, HI and two children all sleeping in one room and frankly not a lot of effort made.
The year we turned up with not even a Christmas tree up, “ it’s not worth it when you go home on Boxing Day” I said enough was enough.
Of course they came to us which involved a longer stay but south more relaxed.
My mother came to us until she was 95 when it all became too much and at last we could enjoy Christmas.
I do know many can share the same story.
It was miserable.

tanith Thu 19-Nov-20 11:44:21

My daughters refusing to host Christmas dinner for her 4 grown up children this year she says she just would like a quiet dinner with just the 3 of them I can’t say I blame her. She’s told me I’m welcome to join them too and everyone is welcome in the evening but one son and daughter are very miffed as they now have to cook and entertain themselves on Christmas Day and they are used to a big get together and don’t want things to change. I’m not sure if I should go to my daughter or stay home alone. We shall see.

Missfoodlove Thu 19-Nov-20 11:51:56

My mother always dominated the day.
Lunch to be finished and cleared before the Queens speech, she had to attend mass , the children were expected to be dressed up, jeans were frowned upon, throughout the day there would be barbed comments, nothing was ever right.

This year hopefully youngest son will be home if he can get a flight and our daughter with partner and our two grandchildren will be with us.
Our other son and partner will hopefully be in Ireland.

We will have champagne and canapes by the fire while presents are opened followed by a walk with the dog then eat around 5.00pm.

No contention.

rockgran Thu 19-Nov-20 11:54:22

So many people have said they are actually looking forward to Christmas this year because it will be more relaxed and less stressful with no guilt. One year off could be a good thing!

Wheniwasyourage Thu 19-Nov-20 12:00:33

We have spent the last few Christmases with one or other of the DCs' families, either here or staying with them, but as they all live at least 100 miles away that is not going to happen this year. We are hoping to have a quiet Christmas with just the two of us, a tree, lots of nice food and drink and some good books. Maybe something good on TV, but if not, we have DVDs. I do realise that (touch wood) we are very lucky to be together and send flowers to anyone who will be unwillingly or unhappily alone.

aggie Thu 19-Nov-20 13:13:17

I have managed to discourage my lot from flying home ,, who wants to put their nearest and dearest in danger ?
Alas I am not succeeding in getting the same message to my sister , she says it’s worth the risk , but she will be chilly out on the patio !

Grandmabatty Thu 19-Nov-20 13:43:12

I'm going to my dd which I'm very much looking forward to as she's a great cook. I always enjoyed big family get together in the past and I miss that. However I shall embrace the difference. Mum has decided not to join us and is having Christmas Dinner with my brother who lives with her,so we'll have no comments about how something is missing from the meal and no brother getting absolutely plastered and embarrassing himself.

Hellogirl1 Thu 19-Nov-20 20:19:32

As usual, it will be just the 2 of us, but this year, with extra carers calling in, the lunchtime visit will be too early for us for Christmas dinner, so we`ll have it when they come again at about 4.30 to 5pm, instead on the usual 2.30pm. I just have to produce a quick snack for lunchtime that won`t fill us up before dinner!

lemongrove Thu 19-Nov-20 20:29:38

No wonder you’re happy this year missfoodlove 😃you can do just what you like now.
Our two sets of parents died a very long time ago, so we have almost always had a quiet Christmas, with our own children when they were younger, then with one or more set of married AC or now and then just us on our own. We will buy food in for Christmas and see what happens.

Jaxjacky Thu 19-Nov-20 20:33:16

We’ve had DS and DD (now single parent of two Grandchildren) from the day they were born, 34 years DD. I’ve already sown the seed that we may all be on our own, although I think DS may go to DD’s. First year ever on our own after 22 years together for me and DH, not looking forward to it, but will make the best. May have them all in garden for a bit of present opening and a drink/mince pie, just until too cold, rather we’re all in one piece for 2021.