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Absence of a thank you for gifts

(108 Posts)
Nortsat Thu 19-Nov-20 10:30:34

We seem to receive thank you cards and notes from most members of the family... though they might take a while ...

Now we seem to get little videos on Facebook of the children opening their gifts ... which we always gratefully receive.
We sent a baby blanket to Oz recently and received a lovely video of little one rolling on it ...

During lockdown, we much prefer the little videos to a ‘thank you’ note.

Toadinthehole Thu 19-Nov-20 10:19:42

We only ever give gifts to children, and then it’s only those in the family. If my friends became grandparents, I may send a card, and perhaps something small. I don’t know, because it’s not happened yet. I’d most likely forget afterwards anyway. It would never be anything extravagant.

I don’t think you should ever give with any expectations. I always had to write so many’ thank you letters’, for things I didn’t want a lot of the time, and certainly didn’t expect. That might be why I don’t like getting presents now.

Young people today have faster agendas. I also find there’s a tendency not to say ‘ please’ and ‘thank you’. Different times. Perhaps next time, if you still want to give a gift...send it through your friends, so they also know you’ve sent it. The absence of good manners is a reflection on them, and I’d want to know about it.

MawBe Thu 19-Nov-20 10:08:20

On a personal note, I remember as a child bring “sat down” by my mother on Boxing Day to write my thank-you letters, do you?
I am glad to see DD does the same with the DGCs -albeit often with a card. It’s the thought that counts .
(What I also remember was the longer I put it off, the longer the letter had to be! )

Blossoming Thu 19-Nov-20 10:04:04

I don’t think I’d be furious or angry. I’d feel disappointed maybe but it wouldn’t bother me really. I don’t give expecting thanks back, I enjoy giving smile

Witzend Thu 19-Nov-20 09:59:09

YANBU, but thank-you notes do seem to be a dying art. It does grate on me, though. A niece’s two children - now grown up - have never once sent so much as an email, not even for a substantial cheque for their 18th.

Her sibling’s children have always sent a little note.

Having said that, I was astonished just the other day to receive a beautifully hand-written card from the daughter of an ex colleague, after I sent a little present for her newborn twins.
They were barely 3 weeks old!
I always knew she was a highly organised person, but even so!

MawBe Thu 19-Nov-20 09:56:49

Not at all - but on behalf of mums of new babies everywhere, I found it hard to find the time to go to the loo in those first weeks and months.
The savvy thing is to have thank you cards ready, possibly with a baby pic on them (easy enough to do from a phone or online) and then all the recipient of the gift has to do is top and tail it and get Dad to address the envelope. Same with wedding presents- if the giver was not at the wedding a picture of the bride and groom a few words of thanks - job done!
TBH an email or text these days is better than nothing and however understanding I am “in my head” it is still nice to feel a gift is appreciated.

geekesse Thu 19-Nov-20 09:55:51

Why are you making such an effort for the daughters of friends? Friends I can understand, but their family members are not your friends themselves.

I’d think it rather odd to receive a gift from someone I don’t really know.

philly Thu 19-Nov-20 09:48:31

I have just got to get this off my chest !! In the last year I have sent 3 'new baby' gifts and one wedding present to the daughters of close friends. This exercise has cost me over £100. As of this moment I have not received a word of thanks either verbal or written. To say I am furious is an understatement. Is it unreasonable to expect to be thanked ?

My friends would be mortified if they knew.

Another mutual friend sent an exquisite pram blanket she had spent 12 hours knitting to one of these new Mums. She also is very very angry and hurt that she also has not been thanked.

Am I being unreasonable to expect a bit of common courtesy ?