Absence of a thank you for gifts

We seem to receive thank you cards and notes from most members of the family... though they might take a while ...

Now we seem to get little videos on Facebook of the children opening their gifts ... which we always gratefully receive.
We sent a baby blanket to Oz recently and received a lovely video of little one rolling on it ...

During lockdown, we much prefer the little videos to a ‘thank you’ note.

We only ever give gifts to children, and then it’s only those in the family. If my friends became grandparents, I may send a card, and perhaps something small. I don’t know, because it’s not happened yet. I’d most likely forget afterwards anyway. It would never be anything extravagant.

I don’t think you should ever give with any expectations. I always had to write so many’ thank you letters’, for things I didn’t want a lot of the time, and certainly didn’t expect. That might be why I don’t like getting presents now.

Young people today have faster agendas. I also find there’s a tendency not to say ‘ please’ and ‘thank you’. Different times. Perhaps next time, if you still want to give a gift...send it through your friends, so they also know you’ve sent it. The absence of good manners is a reflection on them, and I’d want to know about it.

On a personal note, I remember as a child bring “sat down” by my mother on Boxing Day to write my thank-you letters, do you?
I am glad to see DD does the same with the DGCs -albeit often with a card. It’s the thought that counts .
(What I also remember was the longer I put it off, the longer the letter had to be! )

I don’t think I’d be furious or angry. I’d feel disappointed maybe but it wouldn’t bother me really. I don’t give expecting thanks back, I enjoy giving

YANBU, but thank-you notes do seem to be a dying art. It does grate on me, though. A niece’s two children - now grown up - have never once sent so much as an email, not even for a substantial cheque for their 18th.

Her sibling’s children have always sent a little note.

Having said that, I was astonished just the other day to receive a beautifully hand-written card from the daughter of an ex colleague, after I sent a little present for her newborn twins.
They were barely 3 weeks old!
I always knew she was a highly organised person, but even so!

Not at all - but on behalf of mums of new babies everywhere, I found it hard to find the time to go to the loo in those first weeks and months.
The savvy thing is to have thank you cards ready, possibly with a baby pic on them (easy enough to do from a phone or online) and then all the recipient of the gift has to do is top and tail it and get Dad to address the envelope. Same with wedding presents- if the giver was not at the wedding a picture of the bride and groom a few words of thanks - job done!
TBH an email or text these days is better than nothing and however understanding I am “in my head” it is still nice to feel a gift is appreciated.

Why are you making such an effort for the daughters of friends? Friends I can understand, but their family members are not your friends themselves.

I’d think it rather odd to receive a gift from someone I don’t really know.