You never hear of a bossy boy

When it comes to Managers, I have had a number of female ones. Some were excellent and others were s**t, just as I had some male managers who were excellent and some who were s**t. It's the attitude and management skills that makes the difference, not the gender.

Hooray lily.. Wholeheartedly agree.. Where there's bossy there's life, interest and vitality.. You can't please all the time, esp the men!!

Yes, this version of misogyny pervades our culture.

I organise every aspect of the lives of my DH and, often my DS too, because they like drifting through life without having to think.

The DH never complains when it is in his interest and saves him effort but, if he's asked to do something he doesn't want to do, he calls me 'bossy' and has what actually amounts to a toddler tantrum.

I watched this happen with my mother and father and learned that her dependance on him came from having no control over the money.

So I am 'bossy' about the finances too. I have taught my brilliant, organised and organising daughter to be financially independent too.

If women were not 'bossy', the world would fall apart in two minutes.

So hooray for all the 'bossy' little girls!

Phew - I've had many managers over the years, some good, some mediocre and some awful. I was promoted, rather than my two male colleagues who were interviewed at the same. I walked into our team room to hear one of them saying "you only get promotion here if your'e a lesbian or a breast feeding mother". Our director was female and gay, I had relatively recently returned from maternity leave. The other candidates were men.
I wonder whether we expect more of women in management. Rather like we seem to expect more of our mothers

I like female bosses and I'd rather have one boss me about any day.. ?

The wrong end of the stick, bloody predictive text

Daisend1

LauraNorder
Agree, men control. Well they try.

Sorry, you’ve got the written no end of the stick.
I was listing perceptions. It is not my opinion that men control.
I’m sure there are controllers in all genders but certainly not all of one gender.

*compliment

Terri, I’m glad I had it wrong then.

But you should read again how it came off.

As far as being a strong minded opinionated, I’ll take that as a complement, thank you.

There are double standards in many instances still - and I agree that this needs to change. I do recall the former Speaker of the House being considered "Bossy" and even that he was regarded by some as a Bully - so some men at least, have that label levelled at them. My "pet hate" is the way many people criticise women for the clothes they wear! It's true that women have more fashion choices than men, but so few people comment on a man's choice of clothing!

I agree with your comments about Priti Patel, *Blue Ruby*; I thought the senior civil servants emanated spite and resentment, and no actual incident of swearing at a colleague was quoted. Certainly she shouldn't swear at staff, and needed reprimanding, but not a sacking offence. I understood that part of her brief was to make the civil service more efficient, and it was acknowledged that certain members were being obstructive.

'Fraid my DD1 as a toddler we called her bossyboots. Nothing's changed now as a 40 something! She'll tell me what to do when to do it ,etc. Her 4 year old daughter is becoming an equal bossyboots!!

Nannan2

No ive had bossy boys in the family also.

Yes but the point I am making is that boys are rarely called “bossy” even if they are !

LauraNorder
Agree, men control. Well they try.

Doodledog

I wondered how long it would take to hear how awful women bosses are .

I have heard this said more than once, and always by women who don't like being managed by other women but happily defer to a man. They perceive women managers as 'bossy' and 'interfering', when they see men doing the same things as 'authoritative' or 'efficient'. Just as has been said on this thread about children - funny that.

I've seen that on occasion. Add in the fact that in many professions only the women who were the MOST outspoken, efficient, and able, as judged by their male peers were able to progress it's not surprising that some women in management positions may be perceived a bossy.

I have had excellent female bosses, statements about our own work experiences rarely tell us anything, they simply paint a small picture of our world and possibly highlight our own subconscious prejudices and beliefs.

Ha ha. When my DGD was 4 at school she was "good at directing play" according to the teacher. Now she is 7 the remark is more tempered - clearly now bossy.

MawBe

Alegrias2

I've worked for many people over the years, men and women. Some of the men were proper sh**ts, and so were some of the women.

Its very unfair - and possibly illegal? - to discriminate about who you want to work for on the basis of gender.

You are not serious?
Surely those in a position to choose between job offers still have the right within law to exercise that choice?
What criteria would you suggest instead? Surely not just salary? Those who say they would never work for a woman/man only have themselves to blame if their career turns out to be less than stellar.
???

Well of course I'm serious Maw, I'm a bit shocked actually that anyone is taking the other view. How can it be right for anyone to say they don't want to work for a woman because they had a woman boss before and she was awful?

That's unfair, no question.

DGD got a leadership award from her Army Cadet unit and has gone on to be the Company Sergeant Major for her County. She is a mere 5'2". You don't get to be a leader by just being 'bossy',

I wondered how long it would take to hear how awful women bosses are .

I have heard this said more than once, and always by women who don't like being managed by other women but happily defer to a man. They perceive women managers as 'bossy' and 'interfering', when they see men doing the same things as 'authoritative' or 'efficient'. Just as has been said on this thread about children - funny that.

DGS is a drama whatever. King?

Never hear of a bossy boy?

No such nonsense in our family. We tell DGS3 regularly not to be so bossy. I’d say the male equivalent of drama queen is drama llama, blossoming - he gets that as well.

Take it any way you like Alegria2! I'm quite happy to state that, throughout my 50 year career, I have enjoyed working men, more than I have enjoyed working for a woman. And the reason for that is because, in my experience, men have been more laid back, more trusting, more willing to delegate. The women I have worked for have, in my experience, micro managed, changed their minds about what they need or expect and are less trusting. You can swap and change any of these words to suit your agenda; but you will not change my opinion which is based on my experience.

Chewbacca

^Its very unfair - and possibly illegal? - to discriminate about who you want to work for on the^ basis of gender.

Had I, or homefarm said that all women were bossy micro managers who won't let you get on with your job, you'd have a fair point Alegrias2. But that's not what was said is it? We said that the women we had experienced working for were bossy micro managers who won't let us get on with our jobs. You presumed too much.

Here's a direct quote from *Homefarm's" post: Most women I've ever worked for have been awful, dogmatic, over controlling and interfering .
Give me a man to work for any day.

I'll put this bit twice Give me a man to work for any day. So, on the basis of the bosses Homefarm has had, she has decided that women are bad bosses. Try replacing "women" with "people of colour" and "man" with "a white person" and see how that sounds.

I'm not the one doing the presuming.

Whilst I don't like Priti Patel, or her politics, I do think the recent accusations of bullying are suspect. The civil servants who resigned are middle aged white men, and the way they spoke reeked of resentment and feeling hard done by. As a woman, and a woman of colour, she has had a lot of prejudice to contend with over the years. If she had been a man, would she have been pulled up for shouting, swearing or demanding people just did their jobs?? I didn't read any evidence of people saying she'd sworn directly at them. I suspect if she'd been a man, she would have been described as robust, determined and expecting people to be on their game. Women have a long way to go to be judged for their skills and the merit of their work. So instead of people telling little girls they are "bossy" they should be congratulated for being organised, forthright and creative.