Made-up Sayings

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

A little rude but my Nan used to say “ooh, she wants to know the in’s and out’s of a fat mans arse” ironic really as she was the nosiest person I knew?

2 sayings when the children were young. If they asked where I was going I would say 'there and back to see how far it is', the other when they asked 'what's for dinner?' reply was 'air pie and windy pudding', have no idea where they came from.

We always call remote controls Zappers.

My Step-Father always said "I'm off to see a man about a dog or there & back to see how far it is" when I, as a child, asked where he was going

My Mum when I asked what was for Dinner would reply "2 kicks at the Pantry door" (this applied to any request for meal information)

My late DH when he heard some-one had died would comment "oh another Barbeque" meaning a Cremation, used widely by the family. His other saying to DC & DGC when they said "it's not fair" would be the response "neither is a black man's bum", not very PC but factual

My Husband always slams the door when he goes out,I usually shout "take the door with you" but of course he doesnt here that,

‘I’m going to see a man about a dog! ‘
If too tired to get up and do something when I was little my Mum would say ‘I can’t - I’ve got a bone in my leg’!

our favourite family saying was something is 'better than a kick up the back side with a wet fish'. No idea where it came from!!

Aged about 8 and watching my mother doing the ironing I asked some question. Answer was "I don't know! You want to know the in's and out's of the cats behind!" I was affronted, I hadn't mentioned the cat. Not wise at that age I asked "what about it's behind?" She was not amused.

I never understood 'you can't have your cake and eat it,' until I heard the American version, 'you can't eat your cake and have it.' As a child I thought it was a bit much to give someone cake but forbid them to eat it! Just now, I told myself, on discovering my empty tea mug, 'Oh well, you can't drink your tea and still have it!' Very disappointing!?

My mum used to say, if something wasn't quite right " A blind man on a flying horse wouldn't stop to notice". And if she thought a couple were strange " well, they're not spoiling two beds".

When my family drove me mad by returning from school/work and asking 'What's for tea' as they walked through the door, I started to always reply, 'Elephant's trunk and chips'. It stopped the questioning - and has passed into family lore. I heard my DD say it to her children recently, so it looks as though it'll run and run...☺️

Pamdixon, My dad used to say something or other was "better than a slap on the belly with a wet fish."
My mum used to say "don't pull a face. If the wind changes you'll stay like that."
My young brother used to burp a lot, and we used to say "Burpee's double mixed with trouble." Burpee was a seed manufacturer and the double mixed referred to hollyhocks and other flowers that he had managed to develop.,

Are you sure it’s a rat - could be a weasel.

My mother's words of comfort when something did not go quite right "Its better than a smack in the face with a wet lettuce".

Her verdict on anyone trying to show how much grander they were than other people "Her mother used to chew bread for our ducks" although I suspect this was an old Somerset saying, as is "Fine words butter no parsnips".

If someone in the house is going on and on about something boring, the other one will say, "Oh dear, I can't find my other sock". Hint taken. Also, if one of us can't find something that someone else quickly puts their hand on, they're accused of "Having a little boy's look", in reference to my son who could never be bothered to look for anything properly.

In our family a TV control is a zoomie, any kind of insect is a grisby, and piece of hair sticking up is a jimpy, and to request more wine we ask for a filsh. Not sure where they all come from.

Georgesgran- we always had one similar my mam used to say-"Dont go empty handed" meaning as same as you said- but not just for going upstairs- but e.g. going in kitchen but leaving your dishes etc. Or in the house but leaving shopping behind.Leaving whatever it is when you could just as easy take it along with you i guess! I now say it (regularly!) to my 2 sons.

“It’s black over Bill’s mother’s. “
When bad weather was coming in. Never did figure out who Bill was or where is mother lived as a child.

Never heard any of those at all Bazza.

*His

My Mum would always say when asked what was for dinner, 'two jumps at the cupboard door and a bite at the latch!' and to express surprise at something, 'Well I'll go to the bottom of our stairs' There were loads of others too but can only think of those two right now!

Gingster

My DM used to say ‘ they’re throwing their money around, like a man with no arms’ ?

That's a cracker!
But what did it mean?
Did it mean that they were throwing their money about (which wouldn't make sense, but would be funny)
Or that they were mean (which would make sense, but isn't as funny).

Scentia

A little rude but my Nan used to say “ooh, she wants to know the in’s and out’s of a fat mans arse” ironic really as she was the nosiest person I knew?

Bleurgh! That's gross!

Cfaz49

“It’s black over Bill’s mother’s. “
When bad weather was coming in. Never did figure out who Bill was or where is mother lived as a child.

This was mentioned on another thread.
It appears that's it's used throughout the Midlands and North at least.
I've heard that it's a reference to Shakespeare, but I'm not convinced.