I am home now, the female vet was lovely but it is a good job I am semi articulate because I had to give all of the reasons why I wanted Tara euthanased today and that took around 20 minutes. There was not an indecisive bone in my body- I had made the painful decision and I was sticking to my guns.
She had flopped on the floor and there was still talk of upping her dose, doing more investigations etc. I know the vet was doing her job but there was no indecision on my part. If I had gone for advice- fine but I was actually in a polite way giving an instruction.
In the end, it was quick and peaceful and she is now asleep. I am amazingly dry eyed although I was close to losing it in the surgery.
Thank you all so much for your kindness and forbearance.