Just one day......

I think it is the Christingle service that always reduces me to tears Bathsheba, such memories of when my own children were young too
(and DD2 singed her fringe!)

Oh Callistemon, I felt choked reading your last sentence. Yes all those things are absent this year, and I will miss them so much. And hearing the grandchildren singing the songs they've spent all the September term practising ready for the nativity play ?

not being able to see them at all and share their joy in Christmas via concerts, making Christmas things etc

I agree
I will miss the school Christmas Fair, the Carol service, the Christingle service (always magical), carols around the tree.

Christmas comes as a beacon of light at the darkest point of the year, and my goodness, this has been a dark year.

I think that is the reason it was chosen as the date in the first place - the Pagan festival of Yuletide was probably chosen for that reason and appropriated by the Constantine in 336 AD, to cheer everyone in the dark days of winter.

It's a good idea.

Jesus may have been born in May. Certainly shepherds would have been more likely to have been tending their flocks in the fields in May.

We may celebrate a Thanksgiving in our family, after we've been vaccinated.

Put the decorations up , put a smile on our faces......
It really hit home though when I packed up the Christmas gifts and sent them by courier to DD and the grandchildren, it’s the first year that we havent been together in the last week of December for over 45 years.
Thanks be for the iPad and face time.

Yes greyknitter it is all the little things that get to you.

Like many of you - I don’t mind not seeing all of my family on Christmas Day - as they say it’s just one day - what I do mind and have shed a tear over, is not being able to see them at all and share their joy in Christmas via concerts, making Christmas things etc. My grandsons who live a few hundred miles from us have said how much they’d love to see me on Christmas Day just for an hour! Obviously not possible this year due to our vulnerability. Hoping I can see them this time next year!????

I heard some important fool on the radio this morning saying, Christmas is not that important we could just move it to a weekend in May! And I wondered why such an idiot could be let loose in public.

Christmas comes as a beacon of light at the darkest point of the year, and my goodness, this has been a dark year. My family have been unaffected by COVID but both DH and DD have been to deaths door and back with other medical problems and DH is still in hospital, making a steady, but slow recovery.

Christmas matters more than ever. I am decorating the house as normal. Christmas day may be just DD and me, if DH has not been discharged by then and part of the day will consist of one of us making the 1 person, for 1 hour visit to DH, permitted by the hospital - and we are, oh so grateful for even that, when stories of blanket bans on visitors in care homes and other hospitals become known.

If DH is home he wants to see DS and family, so I face the dilemma others face. I am now considering whether it would be safe if the all four of them had one of the reliable COVID tests and quarantined for the short period between test and result and then travelled to us (by car) the moment they had the result.

The tree is up and decorated and I have just gathered armfuls of holly and ivy to decorate the house. I will have my beacon of light although nothing ekse can be seen other than the dark and storm-tossed seas.

Could not make this up! So DGS2 has had 2 COVID tests age 2 ½ for childminder for a runny nose then a few months later a cough - he coughed once when she came for him then no cough for the 35 minute journey to Edinburgh Airport for the test (won't take them back till a negative test - already posted about this as he remembered the first test and right royal paddy ensued). That day I had to cancel my long awaited hairdresser appointment as had to drive to airport. Today I had the re-arranged appointment. Was at hairdresser with DGS2 on Tuesday for his haircut. This morning message from hairdresser - sorry will have to cancel your appointment. 2nd message - hairdresser who cut DGS2 hair has tested positive for COVID and you both have to self isolate till 18/12 and we are closed! So me and him are self isolating! Was meant to see DM to check a sore and her power readings and her fridge. She is 85, frail, blind and has SHORT term memory loss. 2pm message from my brother in Northumberland - he has just had message to self isolate till 18/12 (teacher) as a pupil in one of his classes has tested positive for COVID. Could I tell DM at same time as my news. Phoned her just before tea. Uproarious laughter -"I don't think you are meant to get your haircut as you are not having much luck with hairdresser!" I feel short term memory loss is selective!

I'm just the same Ginny and I think all posters reflect how we are feeling. We carry on as best we can,being grateful for many things. We look forward to little pleasures. Nevertheless every now and then something stops us in our tracks. So many different things affect different people. Thank goodness for gransnet, it really can be a massive reassurance.
Like some I do wonder what it will be like when I have more freedom. In some ways I feel a little left behind in dealing with the full impact of the new normal.
Still will will carry on,bolstering and supporting each other.?.
It did occur to me that when the time is right we may even need a support group,a sort of synchronised back into the real world group for those of us who need it!
One thing I'm very grateful for is my cats! Yes there have been garden visits and zoom calls etc. It did occur to me how different it might have felt without them around. Another living creature isnt the same as a person,but I think its helped take the edge off.

52bright, we are in exactly the same situation with my mum.I have been getting so stressed worrying about it all.We have pointed out all the dangers but she is determined to come here.She had actually booked a taxi to bring her the 50+ miles.My daughter is now going to collect her.I feel she is risking her life for one day when at 88 she will be getting a vaccine soon but she has made her decision and we will have to respect it whether we like it or not.
Happy blooming Christmas?

Lovely comments *Puzzler61’.

Kim19 ?? ?? ?? and

Mawbe your comment about your grandchildren struck a chord. My grandchildren have their own rooms at our house and now I see them empty and unused for months. The rooms look frozen in time.
It makes me so sad.

You are so right Kim19 in saying Gransnet has been a salvation for many of us, helping us when bereaved, distressed, ill or feeling down.

It’s a place to come for company, inspiration, have a moan, ask advice or just to read the many different types of topics discussed from all angles.

Especially this year .......with isolations, tiers and lockdowns.

3 cheers for Gransnet and it’s members. Take a bow all you lovely people.

Yep, I'm in on this. Horrible and difficult dilemmas we're all facing. Horrible....... I try to cling to whatever I can find on a daily basis. This week we've embarked on the vaccine which is tremendous. Yesterday, I had a small successful shop. Today I have Strictly. Oh yes, I cling to even trivia. It gets me through. 'Just one day' always takes me back to mine when my life was wrecked in an unforeseen instant. We just soldier on. My constant blessing is that I seem to have reasonable health. This is such a bonus when I read of many of us here who suffer so badly physically. Let's all just cling on to whatever morsel we can. I get a lot of solace from what I find on GN sometimes. Thanks to all contributors.

This Christmas all you have said is true. The only way I can find personally to cope is looking back on the past....the good and the bad (like an awful first try at making a Christmas pudding). ??‍♀️ You have an army understanding how you feel.

Maggiemaybe my GS in Birmingham summed it up for me when he said to his mummy “ Do you remember when Granny used to come for sleepovers? I wish we could all be together again like we used to”

You and me both

Callistemon, I said today on my way home from seeing one of our daughters that I was afraid I was becoming institutionalised. We’ve been lucky in so many ways, having our family within striking distance and being able to see them, which is so much more than many others have. But today we drove for over an hour to walk with DD2 and two of the grandsons, keeping at arm’s length from one another, eating takeaway sandwiches standing up in the drizzle in the park because the benches were wet, not having coffee because we couldn’t go to the toilet before we set off home. DGS4 is four years old and the first thing he said to us when they opened the front door was that we weren’t allowed in. And this is normal to us now.

And yes, before anyone says it, I do count my blessings and am better off than most. But oh, how I want to give those boys a squeeze!

This Christmas raises so many dilemmas for many of us. I, for one, and so tired of the endlessness of this long isolation. We can, and will, see our dd and family on Christmas day. We can do this legitimately, including my dm who is in my bubble, making two households.
My mother, aged 89, is desperate to have the Christmas day with us and see her dgd and 2 great grandchildren. We are desperate to keep her safe.
We have pointed out the potential dangers for her and offered to take her Chrismas dinner over to her, but she is adamant she wants to come. She is bright, intelligent, still driving in day light hours and has all her faculties. She has considered her options and has come to her own conclusions. She knows that health can change rapidly at her age and points out that she could be dead of something else by next Christmas. She has made her decision to arrive at 1.00 and leave at 4.00 having listened to the Queen's speech.

We will open windows in my large sitting room and keep our distance as best we can. I am so torn. If she comes and gets Covid I will be devastated. If I take the decision to 'forbid' her she will be so hurt and if it turns out to be her last Christmas and I have left her alone in the house I will also be devastated.

After much family discussion we have had to agree that it is her decision. So we will be 7 for a few short hours. So many people up and down the country are struggling with decisions like this. Doing what is legal and worrying about the consequences. Then there are also those, like Bel Mooney, who have published their determination to have as many people as she wants, legal or illegal.

We are all doing the best we can.

I’m sure a lot of us are suffering from Stockholm syndrome. While not shielding I’ve and are very careful and I don’t really wish it to be any other way.

ginny agree entirely, little joy or anticipation this year, it’s pretend, I’ll go through the motions, that’s it.

Callistemon, I said the same thing to the Tesco driver today. I have become institutionalised, I don't know if I even want to go out when I'm released.

This is coming from someone who was never in, always busy meeting friends etc.

Annus Horribilis

(I corrected that twice!).

It is an Anns Horribilis if I may borrow that phrase.
I've lost several friends, none - apparently - to COVID. But i am not sure.

If it goes on much longer I fear we will become used to going nowhere and institutionalised, albeit in our own homes.