Just one day......

Excuse the typos !

Ginny you’ve written what I’ve been thinking. I know it’s meant kindly, but it really isn’t just one more day. It’s a day that this year in particular will, for some people, be filled with emotional pain, loneliness and desperately missing family and friends, not to mention hugs and kisses.

You are not alone in feeling down sometimes. ? for you.

You are right, and if you have elderly or sick close family it may, through no fault of Covid, be their last Christmas Day , which is why my 94 yr old mother will spend it with me , and also my husband who has Alzheimer’s as we don’t know what stage he will be at by next year.

Actually, Ginny I think it is because of the months of fears, worries and disappointments, and the inability to be with those in need of support and comfort, that Christmas this year is regaining its proper perspective and its true meaning.

This year it means more to most people to spend time, if at all possible, with those who are dear to us,

Christmas may comprise five days, but days to value and treasure more than the exhausting, peculiarly British festival devoted to shopping, eating and drinking that drags on far too long.

Entirely with you Ginny- it’s not just the last straw, but epitomises all we have had to put up with over the last 9 months - and with little prospect of relief anytime soon.
The years fly past quickly enough and this is one year of our lives we won’t be getting back. Perhaps we are conscious that we may not have all that many to spare.
So feel free to have your moment and then do what you have always done - big girl pants on, stand tall, face up to what the future brings but remember, you do speak for many of us.

So eloquently written Ginny. Your thoughts are exactly how many of us feel.

Thanks ladies , glad I’m not the only one.

I'm with you Ginny.
I was saying to my husband today, that I have accepted having to shield since March and just got on with things, but all of a sudden Christmas seems to make it all worse. I'm usually such a strong person, but I know how fragile my health is and I'm afraid I may never hug my children and wee granddaughter again.

Christmas is such a huge celebration in our family. This will be the first time in 65 years, that I will not be able to go to church on Christmas Day. It makes me very sad.

It is an Anns Horribilis if I may borrow that phrase.
I've lost several friends, none - apparently - to COVID. But i am not sure.

If it goes on much longer I fear we will become used to going nowhere and institutionalised, albeit in our own homes.

Annus Horribilis

(I corrected that twice!).

Callistemon, I said the same thing to the Tesco driver today. I have become institutionalised, I don't know if I even want to go out when I'm released.

This is coming from someone who was never in, always busy meeting friends etc.

ginny agree entirely, little joy or anticipation this year, it’s pretend, I’ll go through the motions, that’s it.

I’m sure a lot of us are suffering from Stockholm syndrome. While not shielding I’ve and are very careful and I don’t really wish it to be any other way.

This Christmas raises so many dilemmas for many of us. I, for one, and so tired of the endlessness of this long isolation. We can, and will, see our dd and family on Christmas day. We can do this legitimately, including my dm who is in my bubble, making two households.
My mother, aged 89, is desperate to have the Christmas day with us and see her dgd and 2 great grandchildren. We are desperate to keep her safe.
We have pointed out the potential dangers for her and offered to take her Chrismas dinner over to her, but she is adamant she wants to come. She is bright, intelligent, still driving in day light hours and has all her faculties. She has considered her options and has come to her own conclusions. She knows that health can change rapidly at her age and points out that she could be dead of something else by next Christmas. She has made her decision to arrive at 1.00 and leave at 4.00 having listened to the Queen's speech.

We will open windows in my large sitting room and keep our distance as best we can. I am so torn. If she comes and gets Covid I will be devastated. If I take the decision to 'forbid' her she will be so hurt and if it turns out to be her last Christmas and I have left her alone in the house I will also be devastated.

After much family discussion we have had to agree that it is her decision. So we will be 7 for a few short hours. So many people up and down the country are struggling with decisions like this. Doing what is legal and worrying about the consequences. Then there are also those, like Bel Mooney, who have published their determination to have as many people as she wants, legal or illegal.

We are all doing the best we can.

Callistemon, I said today on my way home from seeing one of our daughters that I was afraid I was becoming institutionalised. We’ve been lucky in so many ways, having our family within striking distance and being able to see them, which is so much more than many others have. But today we drove for over an hour to walk with DD2 and two of the grandsons, keeping at arm’s length from one another, eating takeaway sandwiches standing up in the drizzle in the park because the benches were wet, not having coffee because we couldn’t go to the toilet before we set off home. DGS4 is four years old and the first thing he said to us when they opened the front door was that we weren’t allowed in. And this is normal to us now.

And yes, before anyone says it, I do count my blessings and am better off than most. But oh, how I want to give those boys a squeeze!

Maggiemaybe my GS in Birmingham summed it up for me when he said to his mummy “ Do you remember when Granny used to come for sleepovers? I wish we could all be together again like we used to”

You and me both

This Christmas all you have said is true. The only way I can find personally to cope is looking back on the past....the good and the bad (like an awful first try at making a Christmas pudding). ??‍♀️ You have an army understanding how you feel.

Yep, I'm in on this. Horrible and difficult dilemmas we're all facing. Horrible....... I try to cling to whatever I can find on a daily basis. This week we've embarked on the vaccine which is tremendous. Yesterday, I had a small successful shop. Today I have Strictly. Oh yes, I cling to even trivia. It gets me through. 'Just one day' always takes me back to mine when my life was wrecked in an unforeseen instant. We just soldier on. My constant blessing is that I seem to have reasonable health. This is such a bonus when I read of many of us here who suffer so badly physically. Let's all just cling on to whatever morsel we can. I get a lot of solace from what I find on GN sometimes. Thanks to all contributors.

You are so right Kim19 in saying Gransnet has been a salvation for many of us, helping us when bereaved, distressed, ill or feeling down.

It’s a place to come for company, inspiration, have a moan, ask advice or just to read the many different types of topics discussed from all angles.

Especially this year .......with isolations, tiers and lockdowns.

3 cheers for Gransnet and it’s members. Take a bow all you lovely people.

Mawbe your comment about your grandchildren struck a chord. My grandchildren have their own rooms at our house and now I see them empty and unused for months. The rooms look frozen in time.
It makes me so sad.

Kim19 ?? ?? ?? and

Lovely comments *Puzzler61’.

52bright, we are in exactly the same situation with my mum.I have been getting so stressed worrying about it all.We have pointed out all the dangers but she is determined to come here.She had actually booked a taxi to bring her the 50+ miles.My daughter is now going to collect her.I feel she is risking her life for one day when at 88 she will be getting a vaccine soon but she has made her decision and we will have to respect it whether we like it or not.
Happy blooming Christmas?

I'm just the same Ginny and I think all posters reflect how we are feeling. We carry on as best we can,being grateful for many things. We look forward to little pleasures. Nevertheless every now and then something stops us in our tracks. So many different things affect different people. Thank goodness for gransnet, it really can be a massive reassurance.
Like some I do wonder what it will be like when I have more freedom. In some ways I feel a little left behind in dealing with the full impact of the new normal.
Still will will carry on,bolstering and supporting each other.?.
It did occur to me that when the time is right we may even need a support group,a sort of synchronised back into the real world group for those of us who need it!
One thing I'm very grateful for is my cats! Yes there have been garden visits and zoom calls etc. It did occur to me how different it might have felt without them around. Another living creature isnt the same as a person,but I think its helped take the edge off.