Does everyone have a cleaner except me?

Fennel

We're in our late 70s-80s and managed up to recently. But now have a young Romanian woman who comes weekly to clean for us.
I didn't want to start this ( I'm a bit slutty ) but husband is more obsessional. So for peace, I gave in.
She does a good job and needs the money.
Another point - I don't like to use the word 'cleaner'. I think it's demeaning. Maybe domestic help, or something like that.

On the point of renaming a "Cleaner"..........How about

Domestic Hygienist.

Come on GNetters, there must be numerous alternative job titles.

Your daughter needs to be told the facts of life how dare she speak to you like that.You can’t let it go otherwise she will think she can bully you any time she likes.
If you feel really mad tell her as she thinks your house is dirty
you won’t be able to pick up her child or feed them as you do as your time will be taken up cleaning and cleaning after your decorating is finished.
You can be tongue in cheek with it but she needs to know in the nicest possible way that your her mother and she has been raised to respect you.
My youngest daughter works full time and does my big cleaning on a Saturday only because I am incapacitated I get told off very sweetly if I try to do anything, she is a marvellous daughter we are a close family my older children have our old age worked out between them My eldest D will visit my S will pay the bills and their baby sister will do the looking after and the house work of cause cheeky kids but wouldn’t be without them.We can of cause pay our own bills but the girls think as my DS is so well off he should contribute to the care of his elderly parents
I assume this will be discussed again when we are actually elderly we are only 76 & 79 which isn’t old yet is it ????

Does my husband count, he hoovers for us, I do the washing and ironing we share the dusting and tidying and he washes up and I dry and put away except for the evening meal when as I usually cook he washes up. Both retired so fair. Sure some days when my arthritis is bad I wished for someone else to do my tasks but what money I have left over I would rather spend on crafts, coffee and my grandchildren

Have to say I don’t know anyone who has a cleaner including myself although my daughter has been very enterprising during the pandemic and whilst furloughed has started her own cleaning business and she doesn’t seem to be short of customers

I forgot to mention that we always (and visitors) take our shoes off indoors, this saves a lot of mess and consequent work on floors, carpets etc

My mother started having a cleaning lady shortly after my father died and she downsized just a bit, to a few doors away. As she said, she’d done more than enough housework, thanks!

Her cleaner was an absolute gem. She came for years, and was an absolute godsend after my mother developed dementia and would have been very distrustful of anyone else. (She tended to be a suspicious type anyway.).

My mother was sufficiently fond of her to leave her something in her Will (written pre dementia) but TBH we handed that over several years before my mother actually died at 97 since the cleaner was herself well past retirement age and we thought she might not live to enjoy it otherwise.

We are still in touch with her, 5 years after my mother died.

Why would I have a someone when my DH is the best cleaner around.

We dont have a cleaner....just yet. I often think about having someone to come in and move the heavy furniture in my bedroom so it can be hoovered and dusted properly. My bed needs moving as i store things under it and it is against a wall so only one side gets the hoover i cant reach the other side. If I'm honest i dont even know what is under there!!!! In fact i need someone to clear the room so it can be decorated and new carpet laid but not sure who to ask, would it be a cleaning agency or a decorator, anyone know???

I have had several cleaners ..one who dropped a steam iron on a parquet floor, another who left Persian rugs out in the rain, broke ornaments and put them straight in the bin without even telling me, another who knocked over and broke a big bottle of perfume ....none of them offered to replace or apologized ...in the end I gave up and do everything myself as and when I can. If my daughter made such comments I would hand her the cleaning stuff ....

No l don't have one and I think cleaning keeps me active I would rather be doing something than sitting around doing nothing and anyway they do not clean like you do yourself .

I don't have a cleaner now as I don't feel we need one, just the two of us. However, I did have a weekly cleaner when we lived abroad and the DC were little, also I was working part time so it worked quite well.
Now I clean upstairs one week then downstairs another day/week, have just done downstairs this morning and it takes no time, not a big deal.
My DIL has 2 cleaners who work together doing a 3 hrs clean, so they work for one and half hours. They seem to do a good job, and the charge is £40 which is normal here, I think. They do have a big clear up of toys and all sorts before they come!

I don't have, nor do I want a cleaner.

I have a friend (who is a bit Mrs Bucket who has a cleaner). She also cleans at the local care home and gossips about things that go on in the home (not bad things, but slightly indescrete) so no doubt she gossips about my friend also. I have a another friend who is a resident at this care home and I have told her to be careful about what she tells the lady.

With all the work you are doing in the house, Luckylegs, it's no surprise that things are not pristine. Hold your ground, and wait until the work is done, then you can clean it as you want it to be.

eazybee

I don't have a cleaner; gave her up when I retired.
Tell your daughter to keep her opinions to herself.

Or ask her if she's offering to pay for one?

I don't know anyone who does. Your daughter needs to mind her own business.

I have a cleaner fortnightly. Becaue of covid you have to keep socially distaced which means that you must be in another room. So do not worry you could use your ipad. If you must clean, you could find a sedentaqry job to do whilst she is with you such as polishing the brass or silver or whatever. Of perhaps doing your mending or ironing.

I got my cleaner from Maid2Clean.
www.maid2clean.co.uk/

What a great idea NanKate, going to try that out after Christmas

I don’t want anyone to think my house is mucky, filthy or anything like that. I have cupboards bursting at the seams and a very careless husband who opens cupboards with dirty hands so there are marks on the doors, that’s all! Of course, it’s all covered in dust now and a real tip but that will be sorted as soon as I can do it.

My daughter was unnecessarily blunt with me as she is a bit OCD about her cupboard doors etc. I will have words with her when I get the chance but I’m easily upset and prone to tears so try to avoid confrontation if possible. I agree that it would be lovely to have a cleaner but I keep delaying the decision for all the reasons you’ve detailed above - do I want someone nosying around, shouldn’t I keep moving as much as I can, I’d have to have someone ‘nice’ and trustworthy and preferably recommended and I’d have to go out as I couldn’t bear to sit in the house whilst someone was cleaning for me. I was shocked when I found out our son has a cleaner and began to think it was very common but you’ve put my mind at rest about that.

I will definitely need the lounge carpet cleaning after all the wet and mud traipsing in as it has been very wet and muddy here for weeks. I won’t get all this done before Christmas so I’m going to make enquiries about a blitz being done as soon as I can arrange it all. Thanks for your replies.

I’ve never had a cleaner or would have one unless I was too infirm to clean. I look at it as a fitness workout. However, I have slowed down and things aren’t as pristine as they used to be. The bathroom floor has non slip dimpled tiles and they need scrubbing with a bristle scrubbing brush every so often. (Makes me ache) So I’m getting a new (hopefully easy clean ) floor.
I’ve started following a few cleaning Instagram accounts ie Mrs Hinch and have picked up a few tips that make cleaning easier. Eg. Floor ‘mop’ that has a removable rectangle pad and spray. So much easier than a squirrel.
No wet floor and pop pad in the washing machine and done.
That should be squeegee not squirrel but I left it for your amusement. Autocorrect.
I know a few mothers who go into their daughters houses and tidy up and comment on the cleanliness but not the other way around! A bit cheeky either way I think. If it was my daughter I’d laugh, call her a cheeky mare and say who do you think you are, Mrs Hinch!

I had a cleaner some years ago when my younger son was a baby. It was wonderful. I loved coming back to a clean, fresh house. Worth every penny. I had a lady to do my ironing before lockdown and have really missed her. If you can afford it, go for it.

Be a waste of time with my husband his the messiest person I've ever met, he reckons he learnt to take care of himself in the navy ! Yes right his only talent is undoing what others do!
Can't even wash a cup clean.
It's Horrible when you can't have your home as you'd like.
Perhaps I will get a cleaner and remove him !!

I don’t have a cleaner, we’re both 70+ but for the first time ever we have booked a company to clean all our carpets on Jan4th. I’m also considering getting a company to give my oven a birthday clean!

Just to say that cleaners are allowed to work in Tier 3

I don't like housework and cleaning but I've never had a cleaner. Though when I was working I paid someone to do my ironing. With three sons there were dozens of shirts so that was a big help. Since we moved to our present house, which is in a very dusty rural location, I'm sometimes tempted to consider having an occasional cleaner for the times when the family come to stay, I now find changing five beds and cleaning bedrooms hard work. But DH is very security conscious and I'm not sure he'd like having a stranger roaming the house! But I'd really like to have my ovens professionally cleaned, it's a job I hate as they're so difficult to take apart. Maybe, one day.....

My SIL would never feel that her house was clean enough if someone else did it. She also uses bleach indiscriminately so we have to step away from the worktops.

Luckylegs
With respect your daughter sounds like a spoilt, entitled brat who takes advantage of you and then criticised you. She needs a good talking to but I know from personal experience how difficult this can be.