I stayed for “the sake of the children” for 10 years longer than I should have. I wish I had ended things sooner. I did try to leave at the time, following a particular incident, and went to stay for a couple of days with my parents, I had two children aged 9 and 10 and was pregnant with my third. My parents told me to go back and “put up with it”. I didn’t feel at that time that I had many options - how would I cope on my own with three children plus pets etc so I went back. I didn’t love him from that point on, and thought I was doing the best thing for my children, however in hindsight the tension in the house was always there, issues remained and it was only after I had finally got him to leave (it took 18 months after I first asked him to go for him to finally leave - I couldn’t afford for me to go - I had by this time worked up to be able to manage the house in my own but not start again elsewhere) that we all released the breath we had been holding. I found out even more after he had gone from the children, and absolutely regret not doing more earlier. Even then, when I told my parents I was getting divorced my mothers reply was “oh it had to be you, you couldn’t just put up with it. Do you think it’s easy for anyone to stay married etc” not exactly supportive. Finally over a year later they told me that I was right to have ended it and they could see now how bad things were and apologised for not supporting me and we have been able to repair much of the damage. I would urge anyone that is feeling oppressed, or damaged from a relationship that staying for the sake of the children isn’t the right thing to do. They do pick up on so much, you think you are protecting them but you are not. To be honest with yourself and them is, in my opinion, a far better lesson. I hope that helps.