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Do teachers get training on domestic abuse

(19 Posts)
Blue5 Fri 15-Jan-21 21:08:50

A relative of mine left her partner due to domestic abuse , the child they had together is at school now and the teacher she has seems to favouring the father even though she must have background information . Surely she should be impartial . Would like to know from any ex teachers as to how much training they have on domestic abuse.

vampirequeen Fri 15-Jan-21 21:13:22

I haven't taught for 10 years but we had training in spotting abuse because of how it impacted on the children we taught. But whatever we knew (or thought we knew ) we had to stay impartial. We could point the person in the direction of where to get help but our main focus was on the child and that meant treating both parents the same regardless of our personal feelings. Our focus was maintaining as much stability as possible for the child. The only time we would prevent a parent entering the school or seeing the child was if there was a court order preventing any contact.

welbeck Fri 15-Jan-21 21:15:07

in what way does the teacher favour the child's father ?

Blue5 Fri 15-Jan-21 21:23:28

Thanks for your reply . The father of the child involved can be very charming and we don't know what he has told the teacher about the mother but none of it will be true but she seems to have been sucked in by him which is very annoying as she should be treating both parents the same . The schools head does know the background as the mum had another child (not his) who went to the same school and witnessed the abuse and had counselling . Should the mum take this up with the head ?

vampirequeen Fri 15-Jan-21 21:27:24

I don't see that it will do any harm to talk to the head teacher. It will be good for the child if the school is kept in the loop as much as possible so that they can help the child if he/she is affected by the breakdown in the relationship.

The teacher may not have all the background information. Often this is shared on a need to know basis and it may be deemed that the teacher doesn't need to know about previous situations.

Marydoll Fri 15-Jan-21 21:36:39

Vampirequeen I was going to post the same. Information, is usually given on a need to know basis. Nowadays schools also have GDPR regulations to contend with.

Blue5 Fri 15-Jan-21 21:37:33

Thanks vampirequeen The school would have all the info as police were involved and the child was on a safeguard register at nursery because of him and the record was sent to school when she started . Nursery had him weighed up but this teacher seems to have been drawn in by his charm

vampirequeen Fri 15-Jan-21 21:38:52

She probably doesn't know the whole story and if he's a charmer it's easy to be taken in.

Marydoll Fri 15-Jan-21 21:42:38

Perhaps its time to speak to the HT about any concerns.

WOODMOUSE49 Fri 15-Jan-21 21:57:43

All staff including governors get Safeguard Training regularly.
It is mandatory. It is sometime since I did it and it was very intensive but I think Domestic Abuse awareness was part of the training.

The school will have a designated Safeguarding Officer. Your friend should see this officer. Their name will be in the school's information (website).

Jaxjacky Fri 15-Jan-21 22:03:46

Obviously there are strong emotions involved here, ‘seems to be favouring’ sounds a bit woolly and open to interpretation.

FannyCornforth Sat 16-Jan-21 06:21:35

Like others have said, it's most unlikely that the teacher has any of the 'background information'.
It will just be known by whoever the Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL) is. In primaries the DSL is usually the Head or Deputy.
If your daughter has concerns she needs to make an appointment to discuss matters with the DSL.

FannyCornforth Sat 16-Jan-21 06:23:03

Apologies, Blue5 you say it is a relative, not your daughter.

Madgran77 Sat 16-Jan-21 10:46:44

The "favouring" appears to be an interpretation by the mother who reports it on to you...what does she observe that makes her think he is being "favoured"? As another poster said high emotions are involved here so care is needed. If she is very concerned she should speak to the HT but needs to be clear that her concerns are real rather than emotion clouding her interpretation

Madgran77 Sat 16-Jan-21 10:49:11

Meant to say .." clear with herself ...." before speaking to HT

geekesse Sat 16-Jan-21 11:18:47

Safeguarding training includes issues around domestic abuse, and it is mandatory. In my experience, teachers and schools are very careful indeed to maintain a non-judgemental attitude towards parents in this kind of situation. The biggest issue is that many parents use the child/ children as weapons in their dispute, and they often choose the school as their battleground.

I have experienced parents screaming abuse at one another across the hall at a parents’ evening, lying brazenly about aspects of their children’s circumstances, withholding payment of independent school fees to blackmail an ex over a divorce settlement, and breaking into school and threatening to beat up a teacher in the staff room. I’ve had aggressive phone calls and threatening emails from both parents of a student, each intent of recounting the details of their relationship to try and persuade me to take sides.

If I’ve learnt one thing over the years, it is that both parties to domestic disputes see themselves as victim, and schools have to go to extraordinary lengths to remain impartial, while still caring, teaching and safeguarding the child or children involved. It think it unlikely that a teacher would ‘favour’ one parent, but it is probable that both parents feel that the school should take their side.

trisher Sat 16-Jan-21 11:25:20

Can I say that teachers do present to families a 'public' face. It may seem at times that they are favouring someone but quite often what has happened is that they have spotted someone who might be a problem and they are behaving accordingly. This teacher may be charmed by this man , but she could equally have his measure and be maintaining good relations with him for the sake of the child. What she might say in the staff room could be another matter entirely.
I think your relative should have more confidence in the teacher's professional ability. Teachers see more and more parents who are not together and are becomng better and better at dealing with this.

Peasblossom Sat 16-Jan-21 12:04:44

I worked in a school that took children from the Women’s Refuge. Every day we dealt with parents who were angry, depressed, despairing. Both blaming the other and wanting our support.

We had to deal professionally and in a friendly manner with every parent. They would often take this amiss and accuse us of being in league with the other parent. One parent would demand that we banned another from the school, from Sports Day or the Christmas Play. Unless there is a Court Order both parents must be treated equally.

Your friend needs specific examples of how the teacher seems to be favouring the father. Is he given information or access that is withheld from the mother. I’m finding it hard to envisage exactly what she means,

eazybee Sat 16-Jan-21 13:20:04

we don't know what he has told the teacher about the mother but none of it will be true.
Tread carefully
Your relative should make an appointment to see the Headteacher if she has concerns about the way her child is being treated, or is at risk from her father. Presumably he has access to the child as he is in contact with her teacher. Favouring the father' is a very ambiguous statement and she needs to be clear as to what exactly she is implying.
The records from the Nursery should have been passed on, but this does not always happen, and she may certainly ask if this is so, and I believe, request to see them.