Uncomfortable moments in other people's houses

HurdyGurdy your story reminds me of an incident at work....

I worked in an all male environment for a small kiln manufacturing company. One toilet only, for everyone.

One day I needed to use it, door was closed so I knocked. No answer. I knocked again, loudly, and said 'hello'. No answer. So assuming nobody was in the toilet, I opened the door. There was my BOSS on the loo with his trousers around his ankles. {blush]

I beat a hasty retreat. His fault - he hadn't locked the door nor responded to the knocking!

Needless to say, I didn't last too long working for the company.

DH and I were invited to go to an evening market in France and were due to meet up with friends on the given Friday evening and so we could go together as a small group, bag a communal table and eat there.

We arrived at their house on the said Friday, and the requested time. They were in the garden sitting chatting to 2 friends and having drinks. They looked a bit puzzled that we had rocked up but invited us to sit and join them for drinks.

During the conversation the subject of covid testing and markets came up. And yes, we had had the nose job. The penny started to drop - that we had come to our friends place to go to the evening market but it was on the wrong date....

I rushed to the car and got my telephone and pointed out to the message saying Friday and the time. My friend then realised she had not put 'NEXT Friday' in the message. So she had messed up, not us! So we had arrived as per what we had expected.

Needless to say their 2 friends eventually left and our friends asked us to stay for a BBQ instead!

The following Friday we went back to their house as planned, to meet up and go to the evening market!

I was about 14 years old when i went on a 3 week French exchange.

She ( the exchange) was an utter cow, her brother ( who was 18 ) was in the French army and home on leave while i was there and the father of this exchange was a complete and utter twerp and had a stupid goatee beard ( reason for telling you this will emerge later ) and they owned a little dog.

So there i am in my bed 1 night ( pitch black because they had shutters closed ) when all of a sudden i heard a sound like scratching, at first i thought it was the dog that had come into my room. I put my hand down the side of the bed with all intention of feeling for the dogs collar to haul is back into the kitchen.

INSTEAD I FELT A HEAD, ATTACHED TO A LIVING BREATHING BODY....... within nanoseconds i had the gumption to deduce whether it brother or father, thats when i decided the goatee beard wasn't so bad after all !!!

It was the BROTHER ( no beard ) so what followed was an almighty SILENT struggle to get him OFFFFF, now i think WHY DIDNT YOU YELL, SCREAM RAISE THE ROOF ? Maybe because i was there for 3 weeks, in their care, i dunno.

Soooo, my embarrassed moment ( WHY SHOULD I HAVE BEEN EMBARRASSED?) was the following morning when we were all sat round the breakfast table and pleasantries were uttered and i had to wish the moron a good morning, i still to this day ask why i didnt push my croissant to one side, stand up and tell everyone that their precious son was a moron who attacked me, but i was shy in those days, so embarrassed, i looked up, smiled and wished the moron a good day.

My late husband and I were attending an event where people were renting self catering accommodation. We were on route to pick up our key to our caravan and a friend had asked us to have dinner with them before picking up our key. She went to a lot of trouble laying out a lovely buffet of food for her family and us and I noticed my husband hardly taking anything from the dishes. I started putting a selection on my plate and he kicked me under the table saying ‘steady on!’ He then proceeded to say in a loud voice - ‘when we get back for our tea’ . When we left I said ‘How could you be so rude!’He was aghast and said he was about to say the same about me eating their tea. He had misheard at the table to get our tea as to get our key. He thought we were eating their food! He asked if we would be eating our tea that night and I told him he had had it! We laughed for weeks about this. Poor lady was so humble and must have thought her food wasn’t good enough!

When my son was about 2, I was pregnant with 2nd son and an elderly neighbour offered me a settee. She invited me in to look at it, and made us a cup of tea. My son wandered upstairs, I told her I ought to see what he was doing (he was a little sod), she said no, it'll be fine. Eventually, she went to look, and he'd tipped a whole container of talcum powder all over the place in her bedroom.

She didn't give me the settee either.

When I was about 9, I went with my parents to my uncle's house. He'd recently decorated, and the cakes he served tasted of paint

3 stories
Just married- mid 70’s got invited to a dinner party for 8 by husbands boss. Hadn’t met any of them before. His wife was trying so hard to be posh!
All seated, as she served out the main dish at the table - by the time she got to the 8th plate there was no meat left! I Just remember all being asked to hand back our plates and her attempting to redistribute without making a mess.

70’s again- Got invited to dinner by a friend of husband and his new wife- 6 of us. Drinks & nibbles served on arrival, then wife disappeared completely for over 3hours- cooking from scratch. Wouldn’t accept any help. Meal served at 11ish. We were so hungry!

Not at home but funny/ embarrassing!
Gynae investigation by very handsome consultant. On the operating couch being examined when he asked me what my lovely perfume was - he wanted to buy some for his wife! It was actually Beautiful by Ester Lauder. Couldn’t wear it after that without thinking of that day!
Still makes me laugh as so inappropriate considering what he was looking at & doing !

Oh I was 17....just

3rd date withBF in 1973- we thought it a good idea I sleep with him in his bed! He was 6years older but told me he was21!! His mum came into bedroom in morning to tell me that my mum had rang wondering if I had stayed there! I said oh ok! She then said( very modern and unbelievably understanding)" I don't mind you staying but we must have proper sleeping arrangements" yikes! We were together 3 years more he was great fun but not a drop of ambition and I literally outgrew him!

At college, going to my locker for my lunch (Marmite roll, apple and drink) a girl said 'You must all come to mine for lunch, it's end of term tomorrow!' - so we did. There were ten of us. I'd left my backpack, heavy with books, in the locker, along with my lunch.

We arrived at an immaculate, new house, with little furniture. 'We're in the garden' she said, so we sat on the grass (no chairs) and she brought a jug of water and plastic cups. I thought that was very odd.

Do you all like pizza? Yes, we did. No food appeared and she sat chatting, all about how her brother was home for the summer, they didn't get along, so she'd asked her boyfriend if she could stay.

'I've tricked him.' she said 'I asked him straight after sex, so he couldn't say no. I'm not going home, though, I'll get pregnant and we'll have to get married! (said triumphantly). Oh dear, I did feel awkward. We looked at each other, thinking she was crazy.

Still no food and tummy rumbling, I eventually mentioned that we were due back in fifteen minutes. The doorbell rang, the pizzas (that I'd hoped she was cooking) had arrived and she said:

'That's ten pounds each.' I had no money, they had a little - but the food went away again!

A friend and I on holiday with our children were on the beach, chatting to another couple with children. He was a professional conductor and I was trying to impress him with my knowledge of music. I starting giving examples of my husband’s wide taste in music. My friend, bored my attempts to show off, piped up, “Oh yes. Magnolia62 calls it Wanker Music.” I could have died with embarrassment but we still laugh about it, years later.

One we laughed about today in fact.. Dd is now 38 but we vividly remember her saying, quite out of the blue when she must have been six, mil present, “My brother’s willy is the same size as Daddy’s but Daddy’s is a bit fatter.” Mil just ignored it and we cringed. Another time she said, “Mummy calls Daddy the orgasmatron.” Goodness knows where this came from but probably something I said once in jest. She always picked things up quickly and we learned to be very careful in the future when discussing things around her!

two from me!
first was my late mum entertaining brother and sil very posh too they were. Mum laid out tea on a tea trolley in the kitchen ready to take into the lounge then turned round to make the tea only to hear a clanking noise. our dog had spotted the butterfly cakes on the bottom shelf and proceeded to eat the wings off the cake for some reason perhaps did not have time left the cake bottom and icing, and it was the name tag on her collar clanking on the plate! Mum with a straight face then served them as cupcakes!
second was me when I was 17 and living in a pub/hotel. there was a barman living in full time also often had his GF staying over with him. one evening he said he wanted another couple to have a few drinks with him and his GF after the pub closed but there were no buses to get them home after about 4 miles away after 11 so would there be any chance I could stop at their place and they would have my room for the night?
knowing the couple I did not mind at all so being young just trotted off to the bus stop with no luggage of course. by the time I got there popped tv on a luxury to me as no tv in the room in the hotel just a tv lounge downstairs so nice and snug in bed soon fell asleep. never wore nighties in those days so just slept in a t-shirt and knickers.
in the morning wanted to get back to the hotel for my breakfast which was included in my board paid for by social services so I was half asleep just dragged on my jeans and jacket then ran to the bus stop.
only later did I realise my knickers must have come off in the night but didn't really pay much attention to it. just thought the couple would either leave them with barman for me or throw them away.
A few weeks later at lunchtime, I was coming into the hotel which was at the time being painted so full of decorators negotiating scaffolding and ladders when barman yells at me from the landing above:
'L got your knickers you left them in my mate's bed!'
I can imagine what they all thought was my face red!

Just thought of another after laughing at all the others.
My second DD always repeated whatever you said usually when it was inappropriate.
Mil visiting this time with her second husband decided she did not want the rhubarb crumble I had made as it gave her cystitis. While we were looking for something else for her my DH mumbled something to me not realising DD had heard. When we all got seated again DD piped up" Daddy says it's not rhubarb that gives you cystitis it's him", pointing at the new husband. The DDs and I quickly left for a walk.

I've told this tale before on GN, but it seems to fit the subject!

Out shopping with a friend many years ago, we bumped into a colleague who invited us to hers for a cuppa. The house was such a tip, with piles of stuff everywhere. The colleague came into the living room with a teapot, picked up three mugs from a table, and proceeded to wipe them out with a cloth she picked up from the floor before pouring tea into them. On close inspection, the cloth was a pair of knickers. Dirty or clean, we didn't know, but surprisingly neither of us had time to drink our tea as we suddenly remembered somewhere else we had to be......

In my years as a postie I often had to deliver letters needing a signature. I knocked on the door of one of my customers where I knew they had a new puppy, so I knelt down to field the puppy whilst he signed for the letter.

Sure enough, puppy bounds in to my arms and I barely looked up to hand him the wherewithal for signature.

What I did notice, though, was that he had a towel round his waist so I had obviously got him out of the shower.

Signature obtained, I guided the puppy indoors, who immediately snatched the towel and ran off with it!

I was still knelt down at this point and he still had the signature device in his hand so couldn't properly cover up. Traumatised - both of us!

Thought that was funny.
My dh took me to meet his parents, my sister in law was there and my dh brothers girlfriend. Thought they were there to give me the once over, but all ok, my mother in law was lovely.

Soon after we married the inlaws asked themselves to see us. MIL insisted we went into the nearby city. She had never encountered a pedestrian crossing before and as I pulled her back a huge Alsation jumped at her put it's paws on her shoulders and started licking her face knocking her hst off.I could not help for laughing as was every one else .
I got a right telling off and told to be quiet. Which I managed even with her short sightedness she bumped into a towering glass shelved display of perfumes and sent them flying .I'm sorry to say I walked away and pretended I did not know her.

The first time I visited one of my boyfriends family home, his Mum gave me lessons in how to iron his shirts! I was only about 14!

On a crowded bus we passed a canal boat. My 3 year old son's favourite programme at the time was Rosie and Jim (ragdolls who lived in a boat). He saw them and yelled ROSIE at the top of his voice and everyone turned round. I could do nothing but laugh. It still makes me chuckle now 30 years later.
Another time I was about 11 and a neighbour had just had a new door fitted and she was really proud of it. She asked me what I thought of it and I said I like it but my mum and dad think it looks like a prison door.
This one was the worst thing . I was about 12 and we were having renovations on the house. There was one young very good looking builder and he had a tattoo with 'Mum' on his arm. I said 'Oh, do you love your mummy' he said 'its a memorial for her she's dead' I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. I made my apologies and disappeared and kept out of the way for the rest of the time.

hilariousl chewbacca..mine is also wrongly embarrassingly thinking something was a joke..(rather than in a house, so bear with) ...I was handed an envelope at xmas by my DIL's mother with a hilarious name and address on it...how I laughed.. every line a smile and snort
inside were some photos of my first grandaughter and yes it was her name and address...

Many years ago i worked in a very posh house once a week.
I knew the couple very well and i worked for them for over 15 years.
Went one the same day every week at the same time.
I walked in one day and there was the husband in bed with another women.
I promptly turned around and said i will leave you to it then
but please tell so n so i won`t be coming back.

Many years ago my then boyfriends sister in law asked us for dinner.I came straight from work,had no lunch and was starving.When we arrived we were offered a cup of tea,and she asked if we would like nuts or tangerines, you've guessed that was dinner

Years ago I went to stay with a friend from college one weekend.
I asked if there was a towel for me as I was going to have a shower and there was only one in the bathroom.
My friend went to ask their mum.
Through the wall I heard the reply, "What's wrong with the towel that's in the bathroom? It's good enough for the rest of us, does she need one of her own?" ?
I did stay there again, but always packed a towel!

Slightly off piste but connected to the last post, once at a multi disciplinary team meeting the latest young Doctor to rotate to us in his training, farted and tried to cover it up pretending it was a creaky chair. He'd not taken our Consultant into consideration. She glared at him and said, 'Don't be ridiculous of course it was you'. Poor man. He didn't last long at the sharp end.