Your friend is being unking, but this horrible virus is bringing out the worst in people.
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SubscribeMy husband is 74 with ill health and I am 66 with health problems. Last week my husband was offered the vaccine and as his unofficial carer (we do not claim carers allowance) they offered me the vaccine too, I did not ask for it and was very surprised to be offered. I realise how very fortunate we are and that others may not be happy that we had had it. I told my supposed best friend who proceeded to tell me how unfair the system was the general assumption being I should have refused the vaccine, not even sure she was happy my husband had had it. One of her children had it because their job is connected to the health service but she mainly works from home and I was pleased for her. If the position had been reversed I know without any doubt I would have been happy for her to have had it. I felt undecided what to do and now feel really guilty. I honestly feel I will lose a friend over this.
Your friend is being unking, but this horrible virus is bringing out the worst in people.
The principle is to vaccinate the most vulnerable first ...BURT the vaccines have limited life once opened and it is FAR better that they are used rather than chucked in the bin, Your friend is being unkind, illogical, envious and needs to get over herself. Sorry - I know that sounds harsh but I have absolutely no sympathy for her!
well that's unanimous ! how rare on here.
OP, you would not be able to claim carer's allowance as you are of pensionable age.
however, your husband could probably claim attendance allowance, and should do so if not already.
Unfortunately there are some people so highly strung up at the moment that the slightest thing will cause them to react in a way that they would never do normally. I suspect that applies to your friend. If you leave her alone until you have both had the vaccines, I think you will find her much calmer and probably a bit ashamed, it is fear that is making her react the way she has. I am very glad that you have both been 'done'!
I hope all these comments have put your mind at rest Jeannie and you can stop feeling guilty at your friend’s uncharitable attitude. Feel relieved that by having yours, you are protecting yourself and others from this horrific virus. Very best wishes to you and your husband.
Yes, I agree with others. Not much of a friend it seems.
Absolutely do NOT feel guilty. It’s not about who has it and in what order in the end, although personally I’ve felt it’s the wrong order. It’s about numbers...and getting people done. The more there are, the closer we are to the end, and the less risk for those who haven’t had it yet. You having the vaccine, has made it safer for me, and the people I love. So thank you ?
EllanVannin
That's no friend, is it ? I loathe begrudging people.
See to yourselves and blow what others say.
Absolutely Ellan!
Ignore your friend. It is none of her business.
Since when has life been fair ever?
Your husband was offered because he has health problems and you are his carer so I am glad you have both had the vaccine.
Perhaps the vaccine would have been wasted if you hadn't had it.
When they come to call people between 65 and 70, you and many others will have been "done" and so they will get through the population quicker and quicker and so many people will end up having the vaccine ahead of when they thought they would get it.
Put your friend's remarks out of your mind if you can. She's probably jealous but I bet she would not want your health problems.
AGAA4
Vaccine envy. There is a lot of it about. Anyone who is offered the vaccine should have it and not feel guilty.
We will get our turn and should wait patiently. It would be impossible to keep the whole of the UK in strict order of priority.
Perhaps we should have just formed a huge orderly queue sorted by age and vulnerabilities?
Vaccine envy ! Madness!
Probably best not to tell people when you’ve had it!
My son’s friend , a very fit young man , age 22 had a jab last week. He is volunteering at our local vaccination hub and had one at the end of the session that was destined for the bin ? as a result of a ‘ no show ‘ .
This practice will be going on all around the country and your friend is very silly if she doesn’t know this .
As Sparkling said a friend would be pleased for you.
Please don’t let this get to you. You have nothing to feel guilty about, Best wishes .ps. The more people who get the better for all, so you’ve done your bit so to speak ?
Thank you Peasblossom it is much appreciated x
You did the right thing. A friend would be pleased for you.
Vaccine envy. There is a lot of it about. Anyone who is offered the vaccine should have it and not feel guilty.
We will get our turn and should wait patiently. It would be impossible to keep the whole of the UK in strict order of priority.
We all get it wrong sometimes. I just thought if you could understand why she might have got it wrong it might help the friendship to continue.
Now I can see the way you both feel it’s probably it’s the end.
Ah well. Friendships come and go.
I’m so pleased for everyone who is getting it! It’s heartening to hear of so many people receiving it. I don’t even care if it’s out of synch - better that than wasted as others have said.
And our rollout of vaccination is just brilliant. Just been on the news - 7.4 million people have had their jabs now and over 80% of the over 80’s.
Pretty darn amazing.
?
Peasblossom thank you I've now looked at it and its a good point, however for various reasons my friends parent, both children and a grandchild have already been vaccinated and I told her how glad I was for them and still am.
You need to ignore her unkind insinuations. You were offered the vaccine for very good and very valid reasons. Try not to let her comments upset you. Sounds a little bit like jealousy creeping in on her part, to be honest.
My friend and her husband have had both doses of the vaccine.She is his carer and that’s why they gave it to her as well.She is a lot younger than him,she wouldn’t have had it yet normally.
I am delighted for them both.
Very mean spirited of your friend. Just be glad you had the vaccine and stop feeling guilty.
Jeannie, I agree with other GNs here: of course you were right to accept the vaccine. It would have been awful were it to have been wasted - and you are a carer for a vulnerable person. You made a sensible and logical decision! Your friend needs to understand this - and to stop whingeing!
Probably get deleted because it is about another thread but have you read the thread “Rude, stupid or AIBU’ in Coronavirus Forum.
It might give you a different view of how your friend responded. And how your news felt to her.
I'm amazed at how some people would rather see a vaccine binned than given to someone "out of turn". The priority list has been drawn up and as far as possible should be adhered to. But, and it's a big but, there will always be times when it is prudent to give doses to the people who are available, like Sarnia's son in law amongst others. If we want to wait countrywide for every over 80 to be vaccinated before moving onto 75 plus etc it's going to take an awful lot longer and many, many vaccines will be wasted which would be criminal. You were absolutely correct to accept the vaccine
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