Je ne regrette rien

Oh to be 16 again and know what I know now!

I think any person who can say they have done everything in their past life 100% right and who has no regrets re doing some things differently, is either arrogant or delusional. How can any thinking person reach a decent and say they wouldn’t have done anything differently. Not worth dwelling on mistakes but admit them to yourself and move on. Or perhaps you are saints!!!!!

I deeply regret not knowing my father very well and not growing up with my siblings. But it was not my decison at the time. I also regret not returning a phone call from my mother a few days before she died, I never saw her again. Feelings of guilt I suppose. I sometimes regret I was not more self confident in my youth and followed my own career path rather than what my DM wanted me to do. But if I had I would not have met my DH and had our three wonderful children. I don't dwell on regrets, they're in the past now and I can't change history. I think everything happens for a reason even though it may seam unreasonable at the time. Is that Fate.

DH died unexpectedly a few weeks ago, and I regret not what I did in the later years of our marriage, but what I didn't do. If I could go back, I would make more effort to have been outwardly more loving, rather than just ' jogging along ', comfortably, but not with much awareness. Hindsight!! I feel that this is going to drag me down for some time.

Hmm interesting. A couple of thoughts, there’s surely a very fine line between regrets and :
“Unwise decisions”
“Things I would do differently with hindsight”
“ I wish I had”

Semantics ?

I regret the way I behaved after I left my husband (he was involved with another woman) as I really didn’t consider the effect it was having on the children enough. I thought they would roll with it and carry on. Looking back they have done amazingly well but my youngest son is stuck in an abusive relationship because he won’t leave his young child with her, and hasn’t the resources to provide a home for his child right away. It’s very sad.

Not really - life’s a learning curve. Even the things I’ve done that with hindsight might not have been made with my common sense head on, I can say I’ve learnt from them. I wish perhaps I’d saved from a young age - life might be a bit easier but having said that ‘you can’t take it with you when you go’ .

The biggest one, not speaking up for myself. Seventies now and I still can’t do it, bit of a doormat or is it a people pleaser?

Buffy , me too. Let's remember we were children, or more ignorant then. Now we have hindsight which is never any practical help, except perhaps generally to teach us to be more tolerant and less sure of ourselves.

We follow the road we are supposed to take so no point in regretting. We are here to learn lessons and help others learn theirs.

I should have been kinder to my lovely Father instead of being influenced by my bitter, unhappy Mother and treating him badly.

Gosh, I wish I was as self-confident as all the people who said they had no regrets,
I have so many. From not getting up early to say 'good morning' to my DM the day she died, to occasions when my big mouth led me to say something inappropriate, times I haven't made the most sensible choices... I don't think I've harmed anyone, that's probably the best I could say.

I regret not emigrating. I have friends who did at the time I wanted to. They seem to have reaped rewards far in excess from what I could have achieved in UK. They live in lovely environments especially weather wise.

Froglady

I regret putting my mother in a care home for a weekend as she was staying with me and had a very bad back and expected me to pull her around my flat on a wheeled desk chair - I have several back conditions and I was frightened that it would give up totally if I carried on like this and I just needed a break also from her as well; I couldn't go shopping without having to rush back in case she had been stupid and tried to do something herself. She had already decided once that it would be easier to get up from the settee if she got onto the floor and got up from there - she then had to call in the caretaker as she was stuck!
When she got back home she had to be admitted to hospital as her back was so bad, then her heart condition kicked off big time and she had a stroke as well.
I think, in all honesty, she realised that I wasn't going to be the one who moved in with her and looked after her full time later on. She couldn't look after her mum and put her in a care home but she never thought that I wouldn't be able to cope with looking after her.
I wish I hadn't put her in the care home for those 3 days but I couldn't see into the future. I would never had taken on the job of looking after her full time as both my physical and mental health would have broken down, so I did do what I had to do but I do feel really guilty for doing it.

Just a follow up to my post - she died coming up to 15 years ago and when she went into hospital because of her back, she didn't come out again except to be transferred to St Mary's Hospital in London for a pace maker, and then back to the original hospital as her condition worsened very quickly and she'd had the stroke, where she died some time later.

In hindsight I would have done some things differently but then I probably would not be where I am now with DH and lovely family.
Wish I had spent more time talking to my Dad who died far too early when I was just in my early 20's.

I regret putting my mother in a care home for a weekend as she was staying with me and had a very bad back and expected me to pull her around my flat on a wheeled desk chair - I have several back conditions and I was frightened that it would give up totally if I carried on like this and I just needed a break also from her as well; I couldn't go shopping without having to rush back in case she had been stupid and tried to do something herself. She had already decided once that it would be easier to get up from the settee if she got onto the floor and got up from there - she then had to call in the caretaker as she was stuck!
When she got back home she had to be admitted to hospital as her back was so bad, then her heart condition kicked off big time and she had a stroke as well.
I think, in all honesty, she realised that I wasn't going to be the one who moved in with her and looked after her full time later on. She couldn't look after her mum and put her in a care home but she never thought that I wouldn't be able to cope with looking after her.
I wish I hadn't put her in the care home for those 3 days but I couldn't see into the future. I would never had taken on the job of looking after her full time as both my physical and mental health would have broken down, so I did do what I had to do but I do feel really guilty for doing it.

I regret every horrible and bad thing I have ever done in my life and anything that hurt another person. That said, I have never done anything really terrible deliberately. I did always want to be 'a good girl'.

Ever since I started to think about how I live I have wanted to be good. I am still not very good but I try now.

I have decided to only talk about today, not yesterday and not tomorrow. Hubby asks so many irrelevant questions that I have decided to only answer the today ones to keep my sanity.

A few, not so much things I did as things I didn't do, missed opportunities. I wish sometimes that I'd realised the chances I had to get good qualifications and maybe have a career, but in my youth I threw that away to be silly and get married at 16 (which only lasted 5 years.) But everything in life has consequences, and if my life had been different, I would probably not have the lovely husband and daughter I have now. I regret little things mostly - things I never got round to asking someone, or telling someone, when it's too late now. And definitely, I regret not standing up more to bullies here and there in my life. I'm much more confident now I'm older!

I have several regrets, some of them quite major, things that would have entirely altered my life's path. However, at 70 I have learned to accept the choices I made and I am content with my life as it is.

There is little point in dwelling on the what ifs - we have no way of knowing that the left fork in the road would have led to a better life than the right one we picked.

I was always too nice and eager to help - bit of a doormat (people love people like that) . Not so much now.

I am not Edith Piaf selling a money-earning chanson and I have made more regrettable decisions than I dare to remember all at once. I did however make none of these decisions from malice .

For changing my life no no regrets as such. Cause I have a wonderful husband , son and his family. Had I made different decisions back then ...nope
However I regret not moving dad in with us. It was suggested and dad really wanted it , mum in dementia throes was being very horrible and nasty and it was shelved for a few weeks. Unfortunately dad died before anything happened. Mum promptly went into care.
Dad could have had an easier time for his end of life .

Regrets....no. Things that I would do differently in hindsight.....yes.

I think that, rather than regrets, mine are unwise and poorly thought through decisions. I’m reaping the consequences now.