The Argy Bargy Bar is back!

Well the big day has arrived ? . I have parked the old banger chariot charra outside the Argy Bargie Bar so you can board at your convenience.
To prevent any punch ups confusion over seats I have pre allocated the following.
grandmajet I think you bagsied Thor so you can sit next to him.....don't do anything I wouldn't do will you.
Doodle Ixion and AGA you can sit in the back seat with Flirty Fred, have fun!! Sorry bout the smell from the portaloo, the Admiral has been in there for some time.
Flora you can sit in the front seat next to Vlad but no distracting him...he has to keep his mind on the road, his hands on the wheel and his snoopy eyes on the road ahead ?
Me, I will cosy in with the llamas as usual.....we will be looking after the poteen. Anyone else has to sit on the roof

I’ve found a very useful roadmap - they seem to be very popular at the mo! No u-turns for us I hope.
Sarfend is Essex, innit!
Your language skills will be useful if we get a bit lost darn there Happyme.

Practicing me cockney me ole muckers (am hoping that is cockney for mates and not cockney rhyming slang ).

Sound like we'll have plenty bees and honey for spends tomorrow. Hope AGA's had time to make plenty poteen so we can all get Brahms and Liszt. That portaloo will be handy if we need a gypsy's kiss, good idea Doodle. Hoping the egg sarnies don't make Vlad Mork and Mindy or there'll be a right pen and ink. I haven't a scooby where Sarfend is either, nearest I got to darn sarf was when I snogged a lad from Stevenage.

Sarfend is darn sarf east, Doodle. I’ll bring a compass.
I think the hoses must be to wash down the hose box when the llamas get out, ixion. I don’t think they’ll be using the portaloo.

What are we going to use the hoses for, Doodle?

grandmajet we can always use the llamas if we run out of loo roll. They are very absorbent.
I found an old hose box on eBay. We can put the llamas in that and tow it behind the Dormobile.
Sounds like we’re all ready for the off.
Er does anyone know where Sarfend is? ?

????
??
All packed and ready to go!
Getting excited?
Will the llamas canter along behind?
Should I bring rope?
We mustn't forget to stop off for AGA's Kiss Me Quick hat.
( Shouldn't it be 'quickly'; where is one's 'quick'? ?‍♀️)

Great, a portaloo! Hope there’s plenty of loo roll.
Also hope there are enough beach boys for one each, don’t want to share.

Hmm ixion I like your thinking. Help, help poor little me needs a lifeguard ??‍♂️ ?

Great. Well done all.
Flags yes loads of them.
Beach Boys yes turn up the volume .
I have managed to squeeze a portaloo in through the back door so we don’t need to stop en route.
Getting so excited now. Ooops ....I think I need the portaloo

You'll have to get into trouble, grandmajet, then you'll get your beach boy, rippling muscles, lycra shorts, sin sun-tanned, proudly wielding his surfboard aloft to rescue you ??‍♂️

Think we might need to give the llamas psuedonoms....Gnasher, Alarma and Grasper might not attract the little dahlings.
Seem to remember pretty names like Betsy, Sunny, Bobby , Lucy

Ooh yes, beach boys please. And lots of them!
I agree, little flags for the sandcastles, I was never allowed them either.
Off to find a suitable tasteful bag to carry everything in, must be big enough to fit in a beach boy!

PS Doodle
I've got a Beach Boys cassette if you can't get "Summer Holiday"
Surfin' California and all that.

So far here -
*Bucket for the llamas'? ? Flirty Fred can collect and bag until he can impress us with his credentials
*Pennies for the funfair???
*Buckets and spades - pleeese can we buy some of those little paper flags for the sandcastles (denied as a 'waste of money' as a child?)
*Nifty flowery boaters for the llamas. You should have seen the commotion when the posh girls' Head saw me cutting holes for the ears. Honestly, no sense of occasion ?
*? Can anyone remember how these work? Oh - and lots of ?.

Still gathering.
Back again later

Beach towels, deckchair, flip flops, rubber ring ...yup I’m ready.
I’ve rummaged in the back of the chairs and sofas and come up with enough coins for us all to have an ice cream and some candy floss. Hopefully, the llama rides will pay for the fish and chips. All that’s left is to find the recording of Summer Holiday and we’re set ?

I hope you’re all packing your best beachwear ready for tomorrow. We mustn’t let the llamas down with their smart new outfits.
In addition to the ancient pickled eggs and delicious two day old egg sandwiches, I’ve found a couple of madeira cakes at the back of the cupboard that should be fine if we dunk them in poteen to soften them.
Don’t forget the sunglasses and factor 50!

What honour? I lost my Girl Guide badge for setting fire to the camp lighting a camp fire years ago grandmajet.

Must say Dodgy Dan was less than impressed with my flashing....well it's not quite the same in daylight is it. Tried pulling the blinds down but then the battery went on my torch.

Still he must have enjoyed the snog coz he gave me it for a fiver, on condition we give his brother Flirty Fred a lift to Sarfend on Friday.

Wow, it’s great! I hope you didn’t have to sacrifice your honour to get it, Happyme!

Back with the Dormobile....wow is it impressive...psychadelic paintwork, furry cover on the steering wheel and Dodgy Dan threw in the gonks on the dashboard on account of the doors having to be fastened with string . Gears are a bit hitty missy but I think all that juddering is quite stimulating....
Was going to get some airfreshners but the egg sandwiches should do nicely.

Do you need any left over hotpant material for the llama bridle decorations ixion? There is plenty.
Woolly jumpers Doodle? Is that a cross between a llama and a kangaroo?
With all the egg consumption we may be able to use gas power for the journey home - save on petrol!

grandmajet I looooove eggy sandwiches. Make lots. We’ll open some windows in the bus to let the aroma out ?
ixion the llamas could have straw hats. That would be jolly.
The llamas are going to be worth their weight in gold at this rate.
Rides on the llamas
Llama poo for gardeners
AND......we could use their wool to make some woolly jumpers.
Perhaps we should breed them ? ???????? or not.

This trip will soon pay for itself!

We could sell the llama ? to keen Sarfend gardeners, more ????

Ooh, nice! I'll bring some pickled eggs (ex-back of the bar, c1975)
We can get whelks and winkles from a stall on the prom.

I will do some decorations for the llamas' bridles and some jaunty sun hats - the kiddies will be queuing up in their excitement! ???