The Argy Bargy Bar is back!

That's Sean, actually.
Argy gloom playing its usual tricks.......

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Hey, who's had all the hot dogs???
Who let the llamas in ?

Sean ran off with them, saying he needed building up.
There are some big juicy burgers left tho - at least, they looked like burgers, and taste fine with plenty of mustard. I found them under the llamas’ blankets.

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Sorry I wore Sean out. Even with a pint of poteen he won’t be up again tonight ?
Those are very dodgy looking burgers grandmajet but I’m starving so I’ll have two please and a hot dog if there’s one going spare, failing that a sausage, ....now where’s that little Harry gone ?

He took one look at ixion’s flapping chaps and headed off in one direction, taking his sausage with him. He was too young for me anyway, no stamina.
The burgers are a bit whiffy but taste ok with a good dollop of piccalilli. It is piccalilli isn’t it?

I woke up this morning on the roof garden where I went with a Clint Eastwood lookalike - when he was about 35. I wish he hadn't told me his name was Godfrey Bloggs as it spoiled the illusion.
It was frosty early today and I was frozen to the ground. I had to get Thor to thaw me out. No sign of Clint er Godfrey. I bet Doodle has taken him.

Roof garden? I didn’t know we had a roof garden! Maybe we should have a garden party up there, with cucumber sandwiches and crumpets. What cocktails would go with a crumpet, do you think?
I think I saw Clint/Godfrey heading into Soop’s kitchen, muttering about finding a better class of woman! Cheek!
I spent the night on the comfy chair near the loo - I think it was the burgers.

Those burgers did look dodgy grandmajet but after 6 pints of poteen we will eat anything.
The roof garden is just a flat roof with some pots of weeds and a few dingy sun loungers but it serves a purpose iyswim.
That Godfrey! Anyone would think we are hussies at the Argy.

Well, if you want to know how I spent the night, it was a tussle.
All by myself☹️
After that sudden downpour, my chaps seem to have shrunk.
Think shrink to fit Levis in the 1970s, without the bath.
I couldn't budge the bloomin' things - like being trapped between two scaffolding planks.
Plenty of volunteers to apply saddle soap, to no avail, so I creaked off home, toute seule, my tears adding to the shrunken leather.
Had to cut myself out of them in the end with a pair of garden shears. Never again.

Could we not call the roof garden a terrace? A Friday afternoon of civilised imbibing? I can bring my Mum's bone china tea service.
Eat your heart out, Betty's.

Will we be moving soon?

We could keep the weeds of pot pots of weeds.

Could be a terrace if we tidy it up a bit and maybe move the weeds to the scrub land at back of the Argy. Maybe some table cloths and a few handsome waiters.

Oh poor ixion. You should have yelled for help. I’m sure we’d have abandoned our chaps to help you out of yours. If you see what I mean. You looked so beautifully flappy too.
Yes, a terrace tea, we can do that, I’ll hunt down a couple of hunky gardeners to tidy up our weedy terraces.
Do we have to move? Does lemon negotiate a new lease? Or is Doodle the leaseholder in chief now?

The Argy Bargy Bar and Tea Room?

Might get a better lease - and a nicer varied range of punter clientele?

Yes that sound good. I can make rock cakes. Or rather, cakes like rocks.

ixion if only you’d called. I could have organised the llamas to chew you out of your chaps.
I think you lot have come up with a brilliant plan.
The roof garden for afternoon tea parties for the posh lot and the Argy for our usual clientele. Do you think we can pull it off?
I think the name is brilliant ixion we could be in the money.
Perhaps soop could be persuaded to make some of her special boulders scones for us. If you can milk the llamas grandmajet we can have special clotted cream. I can make the strawberry jam (don’t ask what from) and AGA our brewing queen can you make tea. (Actually I don’t know what tea is bit I think some people drink it)
Who’s up for it? ?

I will order a tea urn for the terrace. It may come with instructions. I'm not sure about milking the llamas. I can do a deal with Ernie the fastest milkman in the west.

Ooh, approbation. I like it?
I will provide crocks 'n' cutlery.
My dear late Ma will be thrilled. Boxes of pastry forks, tea knives, cake stands, serviettes (to me, or should they be napkins??), doilies, afternoon tea cloths, embroidered tray cloths.....
We're talking the full monty here, y'know.

Little silver sugar bowls with tongs.
We can make dainty little pinnies with Argy Tearoom embroidered on our bosoms and little flowers round the bottom - the bottom of the pinny that is!
We could offer a special champagne tea for anniversaries, birthdays and so on!
It’s definitely a winner.

The llamas can be nippies.
I think virginal circlets of fresh flowers for us along with the pinnies would be nice.

I wonder what lemon will think when she comes back from her honeymoon to see the Argy all genteel and posh. It’s worth it just to see her face ?

AGA I didn’t realise you were still with Ernie. We could use his milk float to pick up all the pensioners and bring them here to the tea garden. (They are mostly old and in the money we could charge what we like. We can have Thor in a tiny penny serving the tea. They will swoon) ?

She will just love it!
I will arrange a palm court orchestra to serenade the happy couple.
We can cobble source some suitable musicians from somewhere

Ok you lot. I managed to get hold of lemon on Reggie’s yacht and she has arranged a new lease for us with Moneybags Mike. Unfortunately, as lemon is no longer providing him with ‘personal services’ he’s put the rent up. It’s now £8/12/05d.
We had better Hope the tea terrace makes a profit to be able to afford the extra rent.
I suggest we close early tonight and get to work sorting out chairs and tables on in the roof garden. See you all up there.