AC who call their parents by their Christian names

I called my mum by her name sometimes to get her attention when she had dementia. When my son was very little he often called me by my name it didn’t bother me.

I've always thought it bizarre calling a spouse's parents, mum and dad, I never wanted to do it, simply because they aren't! First names please, not some de personalising generic title. I also find it strangely amusing when husbands refer to their wife as "mother" it conjures up a whole bygone era. I'd hate to be addressed by children's partners anything other than first name.

I still have a friend who addresses envelopes to female friends with their husband's initial in front of surname, I find it simultaneously hilarious and ridiculous, I wouldn't fall out with her about it though because I know it's one of her quirks she's a nice person, but quite old fashioned in some respects

Grandma70s, I think you must be me - that's exactly the problem I had with getting over the Mummy and Daddy thing. I felt ridiculous using those names as an adult, but Mum and Dad or first names were just not acceptable, so I had to avoid names altogether.

Our AC have refused our offer to use our first names, but DILs & SIL have always used them. Our DC, when little, always called our friends and their aunts and uncles by their first names, but this fashion doesn't seem to apply any more, at least to the DGC with their aunts and uncles.

I'm happy to be called by my first name, and won't mind if the DGC ever start to do it. After all, it's the only name I've got of my own - my other name is just borrowed from some man!

Still Mum and Dad here and the ‘laws’ use our Christian names. When (if) I do something silly, and DD’s want to put it on FaceBook, they use a shortened version of my name, so their friends know who they mean.
A friend’s sons call her by name - however they are the most disrespectful pair ever! It’s embarrassing and humiliating for her how they sound off at her in shops and public places.

DH used to call his father by his name - except that he called him Fred like his mother did because his Italian christian name was studiously ignored (They were a strange family!) My SiL calls me Mum or rather Mom as he's American.

I’ve got 3 children, and my middle child, a son, calls me by my first name. Think it started as a joke and stuck. Doesn’t bother me.

I remember trying it with my mum but it was not a comfortable feeling. Mum , Dad for me has strong connections to a variety of happy feelings and memories.

My DH used to call his mum by her name. She wasn’t impressed and kept repeating that he should call her Mum. I don’t know why or when it all started, possibly when she was widowed quite young. Maybe a deep psychological reason here!

Anyone can call you by your name but only your children can call you mum. I think you should have a discussion with your children if they want to call you by your first name. I might be a bit old fashioned but it makes me feel more special to be called mum. Equally, for respectful and professional reasons, teachers should be know by appropriate title and surname. When I was growing up my parents always referred to adults as Mrs, Mr or Miss... As I get older I prefer to be called by my title and surname. It's altogether more respectful.

Why are so many thinking this is disrespectful!
It's ridiculous.
My 96yr old mother in law (who is strong on "respect") was called by her name by her children. Her choice. My husband referred to his father by his name, and our children, in turn use ours.

Mummy, grandma and so on are not names at all. If it were a sign of respect why aren't children called "daughter" or "grandson" and why doesn't my husband call me "wife"?

I find this keeps coming up on Gransnet and it's quite irritating actually. It's not the name or title that confers respect... it's the person.

Let those of us who want to use our names just get on with it and stop making assumptions about respect!
If you don't like it just do something else!

My two when small called me Mummy, now Mum, daughter calls me Mumsy if she’s after something! They call my husband, their stepdad, by his Christian name. The GC’s call us Grandma and Grandad and my son their Uncle xxxx.

The suggestion it’s somehow respectful to use Mr and Mrs, or mum and dad rather than first names seems archaic, not disrespectful.
Children in other Northern European countries who use teachers first names are not being disrespectful . In fact, those countries seem to have less anti social behaviour than we do.
Well said NotSpaghetti

Just after our father died, about 10 years ago now, our DM asked my sister and me if we'd like to call her by her Christian name. We both decidedly said "No". We were both in our 60s and she had always been "Mummy".

I wouldn't mind - probably not even notice - if my boys called me by my first name. Their wives and all their friends do. Some have a little trouble adapting that to DH though, as he was their Latin teacher.

I find it difficult when sending a card or gift to AC and their partner together.(If just to AC I say Mum and Dad ).DH wrote Mum and Dad and our surname on one gift but I wonder if that is a bit old fashioned .

Slightly off the subject - sorry
Has anyone else noticed that when folks get into their late 80s and 90s, there may be no-one left to call them by just their first name?
My mum died in her 90s, had been retired 30yrs (so in touch with no former colleagues), no siblings or in-laws, pretty much housebound. She had one old friend left, who was on the edge of dementia. She only heard herself referred to as Mum, Gran or Auntie really.

No it’s not new when I first had my children their father told them to call him by his Christian name mind you they saw so little of him I don’t think it mattered

We are Mum, Dad, Granny and Grandad to our children and granddaughter and none of us has ever considered anything else.

My daughter's partner is quite old-fashioned in his outlook and cannot (yet?) be persuaded to call us by our first names, but does now manage to use "Mrs. V" rather than my full surname!

My Dad refers to my (deceased) Mum by her first name when he talks about her to me.

The one that really bugs me though, is when my husband refers to me as "mummy" when he's talking about me to the flipping dog!! ?

Not spaghetti & Co.. The subject of this thread was asking if we had heard of AC referring to parents by their first names. Everyone has a right up put their points forward. Thanks

Not 'up' "to"

Chardy, that's such a shame.

Personally, I do think using a professional's title confers respect to the recipient and is good manners. It's nice to hear too.

I would never have called my in-laws ‘mum and dad’ for the simple reason that they weren’t my mum and dad, and I didn’t use those terms for my own M&D anyway.

I always used their first names, and they seemed entirely happy with that.
My SiL uses first names for me and dh, and dd the same with her ILs.

I do remember my father being profoundly irritated (after he’d gone) when a boyfriend (who didn’t last long) called him ‘Dad’.

The GGC call their GDad by his first name because they don't really know him, he's divorced from my D anyway so it doesn't matter to any of us.

My children call me mum, but son always calls OH by his Christian name. I didn’t call my in-laws anything but OH called mum by her name.

My two sons called us by our forenames from the start. They’re now in their fifties. My name is specific and personal to me whereas Mum and Dad are generic.