Why do I have to be a ‘Mrs’ or ‘Miss’?

When I worked in an opticians we had the usual drop down menu for titles and regularly, one of my co workers used to change the title on his own record - Duchess M was one of his favourites!
However the menu didn't move with the times - we had one of the local Imams as a customer - although he used to joke about it every time he came in, he objected to being a Rev, or a Bishop , so usually ended up being Mr Imam - though he did tell me one time, with a twinkle in his eye, that he was a bit disappointed in not being at least a Duke!

Personally, I loathe titles and really dislike being called Mrs / Ms etc.
I have a name and will always say "please just call me **"

Madame is strange one for me too.... I always picture a bordello

Should have added that I’m very happy being a Ms. Miss makes me sound like a spinster ?

I never wanted to get married and only did so to follow convention; my parents wouldn’t visit as we were “living in sin” so I gave in. It then cost me many thousands of pounds and several years to divorce him 20 years later.
My mother still addresses everything to me as Mrs... even tho I use my maiden name. When I ask her not to - every single time - she replies that she thinks it’s better for me if I’m still called Mrs!! Why? I never wanted to be a Mrs even when I was married and definitely not now.

I use Mrs (as I'm married) but would still keep on using it if I wasn't as Miss is fine for children, but that's it. I think Ms was irrelevant - they should have just taken over Mrs and be done with it. Why can't we just adopt Mrs for all women over the age of 16 - just as men adopt Mr ? WE can decide what Mrs means - we don't have to be ruled by convention.

Yes, Madame sounds just fine ?

I used to get cross when Cilla Black was always introduced as ‘Miss Cilla Black’. Of course it applied to other celebs as well. I don’t think it happens now.

I don’t care what I am called, but don’t really like Ms. I don’t think I will ever get used to calling somebody ‘they’ because of gender differences.

I welcomed Ms being introduced and still use it today. As I didn't get married until I was 43 I objected to being called Mrs when I wasn't. I have no problem with the Ms title and, as explained above, it is no different to Mr in being difficult to say. My view is if you don't like titles simply say your name.

I thought my friends 4 yr old daughter called Daisy had the right idea. Someone leaned down and said ‘hello Miss Daisy’ and she puffed herself up and hands on hips said ‘I am Daisy and I haven’t missed anything !’

Bridgeit

Perhaps none, but then we may not want to to give our first/birth name.
We have to identify ourselves somehow, any novel ideas out there?

Bridgeit that’s exactly why I usually add Mrs. I don’t find it offensive at all, although I am tempted by Dr or Prof.
If you like Madame, go for it. On your letters you can use Mme. for short.
Often I just put my initial and Surname. When I do, the response usually comes back addressed to a man.
Anyone else remember when the first daughter was entitled to be Miss + Surname, where all other daughters had to put Miss + initial + surname?

choughdancer It’s a good thing I’m never likely to meet the royal family because I’d have a hard time using their titles!

a book

I think I might go by HRH; I'm reading the book about Wallis Simpson and apparently her servants had to address her as HRH after the abdication, so why not?

I find the insistence on being called by a title utterly cringeworthy - never liked it! If I have to put a title down on a form then I use Ms or Mx (leaning towards the latter more and more these days). Mrs sounds horribly old fashioned, but then I’m surprised when women change their surnames as well.

There’s actually no legal requirement to use ‘Mrs’ the tilt level is merely traditional/customary. For example, in Viking times, Norsemen took the women’s surnames ? Too bad Britain decided the women were goods & chattels ?

Gosh, I'm definitely a victim of my age/education wherein I was taught that it was the height of rudeness and totally unacceptable to simply address a person by their name without an assignation. Never liked the Ms thing but found that my friends preferred it to a retained Mrs when that status was no longer applicable. Still a difficult arena for me, I guess.

Ms was invented to disguise marital status but lots of folk decided it was a clue to a woman being divorced. The modern Mx was invented to hide both marital status and sex. I’m a Ms. Nobody’s Bs whether or not I’m married: irrelevant, patriarchal BS. French shorthand is Mme for Madame and Germany does this too, now: Fraulein for young, Frau for adults.

I do agree, I hate labels - I am happily married and am very proud to be my husband's wife - however, I refuse to add a gender-defining label to my name when buying a product - obviously for legal requirements I do put Mrs

i agree with not liking unknown people, business etc, presuming to address me by my first name.
but for hosp appts, i feel it's a bit different, because that is a kind of summons, and it is so important to call the right person and for them not to miss hearing their name. so clarity trumps formality there.
but often, the doc/nurse in the consultation will then ask, is it ok to call you Jane? or they will just start with Ms Surname.
so often the people calling the name are from overseas and the accent can make the name almost unrecognisable. i've wondered if they could have a small white board, marker pen and wiper, like a cabbie at the airport.

GrandmaKT, that sounds like a very annoying bank! Our chequebooks have always had just P & E When on them as we stipulated that when we opened the account.

janeainsworth, I'm quite happy to be addressed as Ms When, if it's a more formal situation and first names are not appropriate, although I know some people just don't like Ms. It would be good if someone came up with a more pronounceable alternative.

Another thought has just occurred , why does it matter? As long as we are all treated with courtesy & respect , what is there to be gained , true respect does not exist unless it is given freely without conditions.

I avoid it all by using 'Doctor'. I do like the fact that my sex and marital status are not revealed.

I was going to say abolish them all, but that’s difficult as Bridgeit said, my daughter is addressed in school as ‘Miss surname, I don’t think encouraging children, these are primary, to use Christian names is a good idea. I can think of other occasions too, perhaps we all just need a number ?? joking!

How do people feel about being verbally addressed without their title being used?
I don’t really like it if I’m addressed as Jane or Jane Ainsworth if I’m waiting to be summoned for a hospital consultation or something.
I really prefer to be addressed as Mrs Ainsworth. It just seems more dignified. I like it when the Morrison’s delivery man addresses me that way.
The use of titles on letters or records is just a way of letting people know how you’d like to be addressed.

Call me old-fashioned, but apparently the thing now, at the end of any letter, or on your CV, after your signature, is to add the pronouns you wish people to use when people refer to you, eg She, Her, Hers or They, Them, Theirs.

Plus ça change!

I detest these titles too. At first, I was pleased when Ms came along then soon decided it was too ugly sounding. I guess I accept being called Mrs when actually spoken too but on a form I’d rather not have to have one at all. Unfortunately, online, you can’t proceed unless you tick one of their wretched boxes.