Being patronising or maybe not ?

Can’t stand ‘ babe’ been though I’m not one! But listening to people calling that name to each other makes me cringe! You used to get ‘ ok hinny’ years ago up north and I kind of miss that now,

I don't mind any of the polite names so long as they are said in a friendly manner. Up here in Doric speaking land I often get "m'quine" - a compliment since I'm 67 and the word quine means girl or young woman!

There is a particularly arrogant and patronising doctor in our GP practice. He stands at his door and bellows your first name. He stands over you and talks down to you - literally. On leaving the room I asked him for his first name. Why, it's Dr K.. says he. and I am Mrs L. says I. You have not earned the privilege of calling me by my first name. I was astonished at myself, but he made me so cross.

I don't object. A man came to my aid fairly recently and kept calling me 'love' - it's too trivial to get uptight about. I said what needed to be said - thank you.

Yes Chardy being referred to as ‘hen’ really common where I was brought up near Glasgow. My dad always called me ‘flower’.
Only one I don’t care for is ‘doll’ brings back memories of a letch of an older man eyeing me up and down when I was in my teens

Don’t really like hun or dear but anything else goes as long as it’s not insulting. Most professional people will ask what I’d like to be called before the conversation begins. Life is too short to get upset about such minor niggles that’s for sure. As others have already said ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ !

Yes, I think I would. Too often used towards women. Never to men.

It doesn't bother me. They're terms of endearment and are meant well. Here in Leicester, the term is "me duck" but I don't think that you hear it so much these days. Maybe it's a generational thing.

I have never been called "hun" in my life.

I'm not a great fan of "hun", but not sure why.
I don't mind terms of endearment unless it's clear the person is using it to deliberately patronise or put you down.
I've got a habit of calling people much younger than me "pet" in informal settings. I just had to be carfeul not to do so at work.

My father (a Brummie) would sometimes call me "me wench." It didn't have the connotations then that it seems to have now. ?

I suppose it is whatever one deems to be inappropriate for the situation.
In the supermarket, a young assistant, cleaning a fridge accidentally dropped a heavy metal grille on to my foot.
What hurt far more than the assault was that he just grinned and said 'No worries'
i was furious enough to see'Management'

I don’t mind this from some people but object when it’s a man. No real reason... it just rankles. ?

I don’t like being referred to as dear, darling, pet etc, but I especially hate Hun!

That was supposed to be dukky not fully.

In my neck of the woods everybody of both sexes gets called ‘duck’ or if you are getting on, it’s fully. It’s a term of endearment. Men call other men it too. I believe it derives from duchess / duke and not the water bird!

Love is the usual term of endearment in Yorkshire. I use it for DH and son but no one else. You just accept it when someone uses it in, eg, a shop. I refuse to use one local shop as the owner addresses his customers as Daaarling, makes my teeth grate.

When they phone me up and call me by my first name then I admit I find it so disrespectful as I don't know them so what right have they to do this. If I know the person then I don't mind, but if I don't look out.

My ex husband has started calling me love/pet it REALLY annoys me. He didn't call me nice things when I was married to him ?

I don’t mind what they call me. It depends on their attitude - friendly or patronising. I noticed that I received a lot more ‘Dear’ and ‘Darling’ when I was briefly being pushed about in a wheelchair. Some people seemed to think that being immobilised also makes you feeble-minded.

"You can call me anything you like, but don't call me late for dinner" .

I don't mind any of the terms, it's the context or tone of voice which can cause offence, rather than the actual word or name used.

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Paperbackwriter

In Cornwall, old chaps sometimes call us "moi loverrr" which I rather like.

I like this one very much as I live in Cornwall too. I

don't really mind any of the expressions, and I use 'you guys' a lot for a mixed group of people. On one of the blogs I follow, a DIY/crafts one, both of the couple refer to each other as 'my babes' all the way through e.g. 'my babes asked me to make a...' Ive heard 'babes' said TO the person, but not in the third person!

I'm with you nanna8, hate it, especially when it's a young shop assistant, 'yes love what can l get you' what happened to madam, and sir or nothing

Oh I don't mind at all - I like it. Here, in the North West, it is quite usual to call people love, lovey - it's just our way of being friendly and certainly not meant to be patronising. And contrary to some posters on this thread, I would rather people (strangers and friends alike) do call me by my Christian name; calling me Mrs just makes me feel so old!

I think it depends on context and tone. A sarcastic, "Dear," would live me spitting blood whilst a friendly tone with the same word wouldn't bother me at all.
I can't remember the words used at our son's college Parent's Evening but I do remember both my husband and I being astonished at the address by the lecturer to us as we walked in and out. We both felt it was completely unprofessional and when he couldn't give us examples of our son's "disruption" of the tone of the class, we were completely perplexed. He wasn't being loud (something I could visualise), he wasn't getting up and moving about the classroom when he shouldn't be, he was always able to complete the work and he hadn't made any disparaging comments about the lecturer that he could hear. Finally, when the lecturer actually swore in his summary and called me "Love" and offered the only hand shake to my husband, we just decided he was a Tosser!