Being patronising or maybe not ?

Doesn’t bother me one bit, why sweat the small stuff.

I don't really object, but I find it odd that people I do not know at all call me dear, hen or love.

I like it. In fact I like it very much. It gives me a warm and friendly feeling.

I spend a lot of time on the phone, and have been called all sorts, it depends largely on who it’s coming from. I don’t object to a sweet old Yorkshireman calling me sweetheart, but not a mouthy know all southerner. I hate being called mate, but yesterday, I think I hit a new low. Someone on the phone asked me to pass on a message to one of my colleagues, and said, don’t forget will you, there’s a good girl!
Unbelievable!

I quite like it too.

As long as it’s not an insult I am not bothered but I don’t like the expression ‘alright’ girl or lad.

As I’m not a follower of Attila I’m not sure why anybody would call me hun

The one I find irritating is when I am with a group of ladies and someone (e.g. in a restaurant) calls us “you guys”. It is clear we are not guys!
?

I used to feel irritated when a group I was in was referred to as ‘you guys’, saying to myself, ‘I am not a guy!’. Then I thought about it and decided it was just a young person’s way of addressing us. I’ve never objected to dear, darling, sweetie, my love etc, there are far worse things I’ve been called!

Crossed posts, Puzzler61!

When I lived in Australia I loved being called "mate". Everyone was everyone else's mate and I thought that was nice.

Don't mind guys either, but I know I'm in a bit of a minority with that one

A bloke I briefly worked with, referred to all women as my darling or love. I told him I'd prefer if he didn't so he started calling me flower, instead. Flower my bl**dy a**e. Sexist twit.

Being called a 'girl' raises my hackles.

As for the rest, it really depends, I think. In anything approaching a professional situation it is a no-no, but a bus driver or someone calling me 'love' wouldn't bother me, and I like it when it's said by people I like. I think it's usually obvious if someone is being patronising, eg a shop assistant selling technology (ask me how I know ).

There is a nurse at the GP surgery I attend who can get through 'my love', 'sweetheart', 'darling', 'pet' and 'flower' in the time it takes to give an injection. She also calls me by a version of my first name that I never use, which also irritates me.

I think that Mrs Dog is appropriate in a professional situation, and Doodle should be reserved for less formal situations.

Doodledog
We have someone who works for us like your nurse, I always think I would find it most annoying, but people seem to like her, and she’s very good at calming people down.

I also find myself referring to people at work as ‘you guys’ something I would never have done ten years ago, but it’s so inclusive without having to say everybody’s names.

Guys no longer means just males.

And with all the stretchable gender that's in the media nowadays, we can't really be surprised.

In general I don't even notice what people call me; I only notice their manner. If their manner is pleasant/friendly I don't mind what particular friendly words they use – in my life (mainly northern British) words like love and pet are always used in a friendly way.

So, as tanith said, why sweat the small stuff? Especially when many politicians, for example, can be "patronising bastards" on a completely different scale.

The words in inverted commas are a quote, in case you're wondering.

Quite happy with endearments, and having worked in a few different places, I love how they are still influenced by place & background.
In my time, I have been: me duck, hen, treasure, luvver, me handsome, chavvi, bor, me gal, girrrl, antiji.
The only one I'm a bit put off by is 'poppet' - my mum's family had a bit of a 'witchy' background, and didn't like it as an endearment.

I agree with you Doodledog. I don't like to be called by my first name by complete strangers. When I meet someone for the first time, I always wait for them to say 'Oh, please call me by my first name'. Last time I was in hospital I was asked how I'd like to be addressed, but at most places they just use your first name and presume you're OK with it!

Isn’t it a regional thing?
I don’t do it but I don’t have a regional link to anywhere. My daughter does and she comes from here. At least she doesn’t say ducks as they do in my husband’s part of the world???

Don't mind guys either, but I know I'm in a bit of a minority with that one

I’ll join you Alegrias.
Having travelled in the States I’m used to it & associate it with the friendliness of the majority of Americans.
A good gender-neutral form of address too

Oh dear I am guilty of being like Doodledog’s nurse! When I was teaching a colleague heard a child say to a new pupil about me “ she’ll call you chicken, or sweetiepie or pet , it’s not ‘ cos she doesn’t know your name, it’s cis she likes us! “ So perhaps it doesn’t irritate children! ?

I don’t mind at all as long as it’s a friendly endearment.

Nanna58

Oh dear I am guilty of being like Doodledog’s nurse! When I was teaching a colleague heard a child say to a new pupil about me “ she’ll call you chicken, or sweetiepie or pet , it’s not ‘ cos she doesn’t know your name, it’s cis she likes us! “ So perhaps it doesn’t irritate children! ?

??

It is mildly annoying, but so long as you did the injection without leaving a bruise (I need them regularly) I would forgive you.

So long as it's not in a professional capacity, I can't see the problem.