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Being patronising or maybe not ?

(218 Posts)
nanna8 Thu 04-Feb-21 10:28:39

I was having a chat with a few friends today about whether they objected to being called ‘dear’, ‘sweetie’, ‘hun’ or such by strangers . Mixed thoughts on this. Personally if anyone calls me ‘hun’ I feel like slapping them but that is just me.

SecondhandRose Sat 06-Feb-21 10:08:15

Never crosses my mind or do I dwell on it. I think it is often said if someone doesn’t know your name.

Polly63 Sat 06-Feb-21 10:07:31

I’m a “love” or “duck” person, everyone says it where I live. I’m not a fan of “hun”.

inishowen Sat 06-Feb-21 10:07:08

I really hate being called dear. It makes me feel like I'm a hundred rather than in my sixties.

Grannytwoshoes Sat 06-Feb-21 10:06:43

Slightly different..... but it annoys me when people say goodbye ...see you later.....you don’t know them so of course you won’t see them later! !

Paperbackwriter Sat 06-Feb-21 10:05:58

In Cornwall, old chaps sometimes call us "moi loverrr" which I rather like.

Dylant1234 Sat 06-Feb-21 10:03:28

It depends on the context and the tone.

TerriBull Fri 05-Feb-21 12:42:33

I've decided I really like being called "guys" its how our sons, and granddaughters address us, with a "I really miss you guys" of late when we speak or text, always said with affection. Also don't mind it from restaurant waiters, I find it quite affable.

harrigran Fri 05-Feb-21 11:47:16

Pet is used a lot where I live, I don't mind as it is better than no conversation.
I call both my GDs 'sweetie' because I muddle up their names.

nadateturbe Thu 04-Feb-21 23:37:16

My stepson refers to us as you guys. I hate it. I am not and never will be a guy.
Folks is a good alternative.
I don't like hun either. And dear is only ok sometimes.

Alexa Thu 04-Feb-21 23:25:06

I'd rather people I talk to did not gush and flatter by using pet names at me. I don't find people who gush, including nurses who gush, to be reassuring rather the opposite.

Quite different are local dialects when everyone is called "Pet" or "Me Duck".

MissAdventure Thu 04-Feb-21 23:24:38

I'm glad "dude" is popular again.

Spice101 Thu 04-Feb-21 23:22:56

I don't mind what I'm called as long as the manner is friendly. I also use "guys" regularly but due to many objecting because it is traditionally male I often use folks instead.

Language has and will continue to evolve and older people need to let go of the meanings we attach to some words. Prime example -Gay - Also 40 years ago it was common to use bird or chick for a woman now it is not acceptable so I'm told. I'm sure that our parents had the same issue as we are having today.

Gwyneth Thu 04-Feb-21 23:10:09

Doesn’t bother me at all.

misty34 Thu 04-Feb-21 23:00:47

Brought up in a North East mining village and everyone called you Pet or sweetheart or love.
Never bothered me. It was as if everyone's parents treated you like an addition to their own family I loved feeling that "all round " security in the village.

MissAdventure Thu 04-Feb-21 22:43:44

I don't mind too much.
Hun or babe grate a bit, but miserable sods who can barely be civil grate a lot more.

My two favourite things I've been called are Hen, and Me Old Cockalorra. smile

nanna8 Thu 04-Feb-21 22:37:41

I don’t mind ‘love’ at all but ‘dear’ is a bit iffy, depending how it is said.

tickingbird Thu 04-Feb-21 18:59:41

It doesn’t irritate me in the slightest. I think it’s rather nice. I find it irritating that people get on their high horse just because someone is trying to be pleasant.

Suki70 Thu 04-Feb-21 18:33:24

In a telephone consultation yesterday a young male GP twice called me "my love" . I was surprised but found it rather amusing.

tidyskatemum Thu 04-Feb-21 17:25:41

I have a male cousin in Yorkshire who greets everyone with ‘Ay up Cock!’ Cringe.....

Ro60 Thu 04-Feb-21 17:25:09

Since moving South I love the phrase 'My lovely'

Lucca Thu 04-Feb-21 17:12:40

Laura my lovely ....an annoying argy bargy with the bank. Some undignified medical camera work.
Being told to cut out caffeine and alcohol , yes my one glass per day must go.
Cheers for asking though petal.

LauraNorder Thu 04-Feb-21 16:19:30

Oh Lucca mate, what’s wrong today my love.
Cheer up duck

Framilode Thu 04-Feb-21 16:13:50

When I was working and dealing with some self important solicitors (male) the phrase they used to use, which drove me mad, was 'My dear'. Grrrr.

DanniRae Thu 04-Feb-21 15:39:32

ginny and Jaxjacky - On behalf of another 'mouthy Southerner' Thank You!!

Blossoming Thu 04-Feb-21 13:20:36

Ooh, I would like being called ma’am, it would make me feel all grownup and dignified ?