Being patronising or maybe not ?

Blimey, I don't mind at all. Better than being called anything else as you get older, isn't it ? It's how it's perceived.

I quite like it, the only one I do not like is ma'am, a neighbour refers to all women that way, I am sure he feels he is being respectful but it really makes me cringe.

I like a good gossip to some of my customers during the course of the day, and I think we can all tell the difference between somebody being friendly and chatty, and someone who is being patronising, and sorry, but I do notice regional differences, of course it could just be that I get the worst ones!

I loathe it. "Luv" is OK, because up here (Yorkshire) it's a general term of mild endearment. What I really object to is that the older I get, the more women in sort of authority position - shopkeepers, receptionists, nurses - will address me KINDLY as lovey, or my lovely, as though encouraging some feeble old goat. I'm 65. I remember it infuriating my Mum about the same age. She made it to 96, so I'm hoping I've got a lot more years to be irritated!

It doesn't bother me much although I don't care for the increasing use of 'hey you guys' . However , I suppose it is the modern equivalent of 'come along, chaps', which strangely infuriates those who like to use the term 'guys'.

As long as it`s not a horrible word/name anyone can call me whatever they want to.
Dh rarely calls me by my first name and my parents called me babs/sweatheart/my love,sadly they aern`t here anylonger.

I’m a southerner myself Jaxjacky, and am quite aware that not every southerner is rude, I was actually trying not to be too specific!

I don't mind 'love' being a Yorkshire lass. Not so keen on the others but accept its usually a local thing. I do dislike 'hubby' and 'the wife'

I think I know what you mean, Sara1954, although I wouldn't put in geographical categories, more those of age. There are some charming elderly men (and women) who can call you 'dear' or 'love' and leave you feeling warm and appreciated, and some mostly young ones who can leave you feeling furious and patronised. It's something you can feel without necessarily being able to put your finger on why, I think.

Hun is abhorrent. I can just about tolerate the others if I don't feel there is any intent to offend but I have a name and I'm happier if people use it.

I only use such terms of endearment and affection with close family and a few close friends. I would feel I was being disrespectful and patronising if I addressed others in such a way.

Groups are a bit more difficult, guys, chaps, peeps, y'all don't offend me but I'm aware they might niggle others but sometimes life is too short to make a list.

I do feel it's important to listen and learn if people object to being addressed by a generic term - you might not agree, but out of respect I believe it's good to learn that person's preferences.

I don’t mind most of them, it depends more on how it’s said, certainly don’t mind you guys. But I’m a allegedly ‘a mouthy know it all southerner’, so take my view with a pinch of salt! ?

Not really - depends on the intent - if they say it in a patronising aggressive way, then I might mind; if it is just a figure of speech where they come from then why might I mind?

I do not have the energy to get offended by small things.

I’m not in the least worried a t people using my first name, why would I be ?
Most of the sweetheart, love, pet, hen etc are regional and just fine. I loved the Bristol “my darling, my love” said together!
I don’t mind “guys”, it’s just a more modern thing.

I have to say I find “hun” so twee and sugary, (along with “hubby” and “aw” and “lovely lady”.
Sorry bit of a rant, things are going wrong today!

Sorry Ginny, I just speak as I find

Agree Rockgran, as long as it’s kindly meant, but sometimes it can be rude and patronising.

Not too bothered , it’s more the way it is said.

What does bother me is generalisations like . ‘I don’t object to a sweet old Yorkshireman calling me sweetheart, but not a mouthy know all southerner’.

If they are being friendly I don't see a problem. It seems that most forms of address will offend someone. Even if they get your name right there is the minefield of Mrs/Miss/Ms. I'm happy just to be noticed at all!

So long as it's not in a professional capacity, I can't see the problem.

Nanna58

Oh dear I am guilty of being like Doodledog’s nurse! When I was teaching a colleague heard a child say to a new pupil about me “ she’ll call you chicken, or sweetiepie or pet , it’s not ‘ cos she doesn’t know your name, it’s cis she likes us! “ So perhaps it doesn’t irritate children! ?

??

It is mildly annoying, but so long as you did the injection without leaving a bruise (I need them regularly) I would forgive you.

I don’t mind at all as long as it’s a friendly endearment.

Oh dear I am guilty of being like Doodledog’s nurse! When I was teaching a colleague heard a child say to a new pupil about me “ she’ll call you chicken, or sweetiepie or pet , it’s not ‘ cos she doesn’t know your name, it’s cis she likes us! “ So perhaps it doesn’t irritate children! ?

Don't mind guys either, but I know I'm in a bit of a minority with that one

I’ll join you Alegrias.
Having travelled in the States I’m used to it & associate it with the friendliness of the majority of Americans.
A good gender-neutral form of address too

Isn’t it a regional thing?
I don’t do it but I don’t have a regional link to anywhere. My daughter does and she comes from here. At least she doesn’t say ducks as they do in my husband’s part of the world???

I agree with you Doodledog. I don't like to be called by my first name by complete strangers. When I meet someone for the first time, I always wait for them to say 'Oh, please call me by my first name'. Last time I was in hospital I was asked how I'd like to be addressed, but at most places they just use your first name and presume you're OK with it!

Quite happy with endearments, and having worked in a few different places, I love how they are still influenced by place & background.
In my time, I have been: me duck, hen, treasure, luvver, me handsome, chavvi, bor, me gal, girrrl, antiji.
The only one I'm a bit put off by is 'poppet' - my mum's family had a bit of a 'witchy' background, and didn't like it as an endearment.