Being patronising or maybe not ?

It doesn't bother me at all. The only thing I hate, and it's my beautiful niece that does it, is when I say certain things, she says "Aw bless". It makes me feel like I'm in my 90's.

I don't hear many people using these 'friendly terms' , maybe it's just me ?

I'm a Yorkshire Lass, and I love all the friendly names I get called. The Mrs / Madams or whatever are far too stuffy for me.

I don't mind it usually, apart from when my mother calls me 'dear', she actually gives it an inflection that makes it sound like the rudest swear word. That winds me up. In general terms I'm fine with it. Depends on the tone its used in

I hate being called 'love' or 'dear'. I find it really patronising. I don't mind 'darling' or 'guys' or 'girls' if I'm with friends.

This popped up as a Facebook ‘memory’ today, from 3 years ago.

“I rock up for a routine blood test to be greeted by the HCA with the words ‘so we’ve come for our blood test, have we?’
Wish I’d had the presence of mind to ask her if she wanted to address me, to use the 2nd person singular ??”

jenpax

GrannieRose15 I was brought up to introduce myself by first name and surname and I never introduce myself as Mrs ...

No neither did I, until it became clear that if I gave my first name every Tom, Dick and Harry would use it.

Not a fan of being called you guys

Being a northerner most people in shops particularly say ‘hello love’ or ‘thanks love ‘. I ‘love it!

GrannieRose15 I was brought up to introduce myself by first name and surname and I never introduce myself as Mrs ...

I dont object to any of these although I have never heard of chavvi or bor, where do these come from??

Doesn’t bother me, “alright love” or “alright cock” was common place in Manchester where I grew up. It was a term of endearment.

i don’t get easily riled over many things these days

I don’t like these terms either! I have a name and prefer that to be used. My DH calls me Love or Lover and it drives me mad, I absolutely hate it but know if I say anything he will sulk!!! He has PTSD and little things become huge mountains of worry so have to bite my tongue!

All of these sickly endearments annoy me and I have been known to tell folk I'm not their love or darling

Hun is the very worst. I feel like saying I don't have German heritage.

GrannyRose15

nanna8

First name use is also cultural. Everyone uses first names here most of the time, strangers or not. Very few use surnames at all and no one thinks anything of it. It is considered friendly. When we first came here nearly 50 years ago now, I was taken aback and thought it over familiar but it is amazing how quickly you adjust.

Where's here?

Australia- I still give a double take when it is someone at the bank or the chemist I must say. I don't mind if they know me, even slightly, of course.

You are not alone,I hate being called all these terms by strangers or anyone younger than me.
I told someone off on the phone once who was trying to sell me something who continued to call me love, I don’t know where this obsession to call everyone hun has come from either i feel like screaming when some young girl calls me hun when I’m old enough to be her grandmother ??

nanna8

First name use is also cultural. Everyone uses first names here most of the time, strangers or not. Very few use surnames at all and no one thinks anything of it. It is considered friendly. When we first came here nearly 50 years ago now, I was taken aback and thought it over familiar but it is amazing how quickly you adjust.

Where's here?

I always thought that in polite society it was rude to give yourself a title. So the Duke of Hastings would call himself Hastings and a married woman would not call herself Mrs G but by her Christian name and surname. I therefore always used to introduce myself this way until I realised that everyone from the bank clerk to the estate agent thought this gave them permission to call me by my Christian name. Now I always introduce myself as Mrs G.

I don't mind endearments from people I meet in the street, but I do object to them from anyone in a professional capacity.

Oh now that really is patronising!

I dont mind duck, darling, love, etc. But I hate it when professionals ring up and call me by my first name! It's Mrs Naninka unless I say otherwise, you over-familiar millenial twot!!

First name use is also cultural. Everyone uses first names here most of the time, strangers or not. Very few use surnames at all and no one thinks anything of it. It is considered friendly. When we first came here nearly 50 years ago now, I was taken aback and thought it over familiar but it is amazing how quickly you adjust.

I usually don’t mind too much what folk all me, but my eldest grand daughter had a new boyfriend she wanted to bring over to Spain with her to visit us. I asked to meet him via FT before they came so we weren’t total strangers when they arrived. His first words to me were along the lines of ‘alright darling’! I took an instant dislike to him and felt he was very disrespectful to me. He ended up causing my grand daughter to fall out with me for a while. Thankfully she realised he was no good and finished with him, thank god.

I think you can tell by the tone if it’s patronising or not. The older I get them more I notice it! I really don’t like being called, ‘dear’.

The only thing I don’t like is when men call me live out dear. Women I don’t mind.