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Sprechen die English?

(128 Posts)
Rufus2 Sat 13-Feb-21 13:49:15

English to become the official European language

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Rufus2 Fri 19-Feb-21 14:03:07

Crikey Rufus we were thinking about each other at the same^time. Crossed posts!

Ellianne I'm thinking of you right now! Are you still thinking of me? I haven't heard from you for 5 days; was it something I said?
Don't say I've been dumped already!? Perhaps that was what "Hound" was about!? sad
Juliet 27 was kindly calling for more banter, but when I see a new thread about "socks" the only banter I can think of is "put a sock in it!", but that won't ruffle any feathers. hmm
Now I can understand how "plonk" came about.
You'll find our "Cleanskin" vintage will be similar; no, wrong, it's actually quite palatable, to me anyway. That's why I've grown to be a friendly old Grandad; shortly to be "Great" grin It's cheap, but not nasty and can be obtained in the Merlot, Shiraz etc. families, but if your taste buds are more upmarket into French wines, no worries!

Blimey! it's coming up to the witching hour and still 25C confused
Good Health wine wine wine
OoRoo

Ellianne Fri 19-Feb-21 14:48:11

G'day Rufus. Ha ha 'Hound' was Rufus Hound if I remember correctly.
Thanks for the tip about "Cleanskin", I've just checked it out on Laithwaites wines. Coonawarra Shiraz looks good, what weird names you have. Mind you France can't really talk. There's a Chateau d'Arse winery in the Languedoc, and a place called Bouzy near Reims in Champagne. Santé.
Sounds mighty hot down your way. It's raining cats and dogs here, that's probably sheep and koalas in your speak.
Congratulations on the forthcoming Great ankle biter, or do you say Great rugrat?
Hope Juliet is impressed.
OoRoo