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What do you consider ‘a big family’ these days?

(91 Posts)
Kandinsky Thu 25-Feb-21 11:31:35

I would say 5+
1, 2 or 3 is normal/ average.
4 is in between.

Sara1954 Thu 25-Feb-21 19:11:13

I have three, I would have liked four but they were very well spaced out, and the last one was a terrible pregnancy, so we decided three would do.
Now I’m quite pleased, I’ve got enough problems with the three I’ve got.

TrendyNannie6 Thu 25-Feb-21 21:03:01

Probably 5

grandmajet Thu 25-Feb-21 21:07:42

Thank you BlueSky. We adore them all! My last was a ‘coil’ baby, and I spent a week in hospital six months after she was born seeking it out and removing it! The surgeon said I was a first for him!

BlueSky Thu 25-Feb-21 21:56:46

You must have been very fertile Grandmajet to defy all the contraceptive methods! Yes people have something to say if you have just the one or more than 3!

mumofmadboys Thu 25-Feb-21 23:06:38

We have 5 and nowadays people regard us as a large family. No regrets. Loved the fun , laughter and mischief of 5 small boys at home! It was hard to do anything quietly!

Hellogirl1 Thu 25-Feb-21 23:47:25

We had 5, when the last one was born the eldest was 7. We didn`t have a car at the time, later we had a normal estate car, in the days before seat belts, so were able to carry more to a seat. None of mine have had large families, one son has 2 with his wife and 1 from a previous marriage, youngest son has 1, I daughter has 2, another daughter has 1. I did decide after number 5 that that was enough, and went to be sterilised, that was in 1973.

GagaJo Thu 25-Feb-21 23:48:19

Any more than 2 is a large family.

Rosie51 Fri 26-Feb-21 00:09:16

Oh good, I'm an in betweener smile Would have loved a couple more but in a 3 bedroomed cottage there wasn't any space. We can all be judgemental if we choose, think some people's view is..... an only child will be spoiled and selfish....two children (preferably one of each sex!) ideal....three, well everyone can have an accident.....four, well you're tending towards selfish.....five, say no more just feckless...and on and on.
The only criteria should be, every child is a wanted child, and that includes "happy accidents" or "arrived sooner than planned" .....hello number four grin
I don't consider I have a large family despite coming from a two child family myself. I suppose I start to think large is six or more, and good luck to them if they have the space and love each one.

M0nica Fri 26-Feb-21 07:02:12

We should be aiming for a shrinking population, and that can only come by more countries having an average family size of less than 2, Italy and Japan are among the countries in that situation.

Currently population growth is caused by longevity rather than large families. We are the cause of over population, we are all living to long.

LadyGracie Fri 26-Feb-21 09:12:24

We would have had 5 but I lost 3. DD has 1, DS sadly none, it wasn’t to be.

M0nica Fri 26-Feb-21 09:20:25

When most of us were having children the dangers of rising world population was well known - and unlike now - the cause in the 1960s - 1990s(?) was an excess of births.

This certainly affected our decisions about family size and that of many of our friends.

ninathenana Fri 26-Feb-21 10:08:42

grandmajet they never found the coil I had fitted when I got pregnant with our son. I had him by c-section but no sign of the coil.
They concluded it had slipped out shock

Witzend Fri 26-Feb-21 10:13:17

Obviously that will depend on the kind of accommodation they’re in, @NotSpaghetti, but anywhere around here, a lot of families with 2 children are restricted to 2 bed flats, or small 2 bed houses, because the step up to a 3 bed is just too much.

Just a short distance from us, a very small 1930s 3 bed, with a tiny 3rd bedroom - or box room as they used to call it (8 feet x 6) - will easily sell for £500k+. This is outer SW London, nowhere near the centre.
Of course other areas are cheaper, very likely a lot cheaper, but this is the reality for many around here.

Grandma11 Fri 26-Feb-21 10:30:09

I had 5 daughters, spread over 12 years and two marriages. I never planned it that way, although being an only Child myself, I had always wanted more than two children.
We both worked to support them, gave them the best start in life we could, and we now have 11 Grandchildren, and 3 Great Grandchildren, although we very seldom see the little ones due to DGS being estranged from their mother.
Sadly we lost a daughter to Cancer in 2015, something that makes you appreciate even more the ones that are still with us.

Funnygran Fri 26-Feb-21 10:36:42

I was one of three and wanted three children. After a girl and a boy I became pregnant again. MIL was horrified saying why would you want another since you already have one of each. It was a bit rich from her since DH is one of six! DD has gone on to have three too.

Ladyleftfieldlover Fri 26-Feb-21 10:39:03

Four or more is a big family.

We have three. First a girl and then on her second birthday, a boy. This was also my grandmother’s birthday! OH would have been happy to leave it at two, but using my feminine wiles, I persuaded him to have a third - a boy, with his own birthday!

Damdee Fri 26-Feb-21 10:42:00

Someone said 4 is selfish. How unkind! My daughter had 2 children with her husband, who then became an alcoholic and left her. Now she has another child with her new partner and is expecting a second. So she will eventually have 4 children. They can afford them all. I don't think that's selfish.

Caro57 Fri 26-Feb-21 10:42:22

Have always said if we were meant to have more than two children we would have more than two hands grin

Gwenisgreat1 Fri 26-Feb-21 10:43:29

Personally I would say over 4. But if a couple wants 20, as long as they pay for them why not. It's swings and roundabouts - my DDs have 1 each, some couples choose not to have any children. I'm sure it will balance out in the end.

Grandma11 Fri 26-Feb-21 10:44:26

Ninathenana, two of my Daughters were Coil babies, the youngest one I didn't realise I was pregnant with her until l was 16 weeks, they removed my Coil in theatre, it was lodged low down in my Cervix, but was risky for the baby as it contained Copper, so it was deemed safer to remove it rather than suffer a highly lightly premature birth.
She's 31 years old now, with three daughters of her own!

My first Coil just fell out, resulting in only 53weeks between DD2 and DD3!

kittylester Fri 26-Feb-21 10:44:33

Obviously, like old age being 10 years older than ourselves, a big family is any more children than we have! grin

NotSpaghetti Fri 26-Feb-21 10:46:33

I was just thinking exactly that kittylester

harrigran Fri 26-Feb-21 10:46:55

Anything more than two is excessive in our book, we agreed that just replacing ourselves was adequate.
DH is one of four boys and he said he had a dreadful childhood.
I was one of three girls, piggy in the middle, and would have loved to have been an only child.

Annaram1 Fri 26-Feb-21 10:48:19

I had 2 children and then had a miscarriage. It was a late pregnancy in my 40s. I had begun to get excited, looking in the Mothercare shops etc. But alas it was not to be. However I am happy with the 2 I have who have given me 4 grandchildren. By the way having 2 children is a guarantee that the population will decline as of the 2 children not all will go on to have children themselves.

Calendargirl Fri 26-Feb-21 10:50:01

I have two, one of each, enough for us.

Five GC, DD has three, DS two.

My husband was one of 9, 7 boys and 2 girls, one little boy died in childhood. Far too many, they were what would be classed as ‘poor’, free school meals, hand-me-down clothes and everything else. But all loved, all cared for, none of them ever been in trouble with the law and all had responsible jobs.