Daughter’s astonishing comment!

That's awful Smileless. Fortunately we are not estranged and our DD has never blamed us for anything. It's the smaller stuff. If I relate something from the past, she will sometimes say 'No that's not how it happened, it happened like this' then relate her version.
She has the attitude of because I'm older I have a poor memory (I haven't). It's only small stuff so I just say "OK dear'.

It was only yesterday that I was thinking what wonderful knitting and crocheting my mother used to do and I never took any interest then. I so wish I had.

I’m another who gets told a litany of all the awful chores I made my children do, how badly treated they were. Also how we ruined our D’s life by moving her just as she was starting secondary school (we couldn’t help it, H had got a brilliant promotion and you simply had to move). This meant she got stuck with the worst friend possible and this ruined her school life. The fact we supported her all through university, she’s in touch with loads of other school friends and she’s now a headmistress with a brilliant career path is immaterial. Woe is me!

I have 3 adult sons who always blame us for everything....?? and never remember all the good things and times we all spent together....they forget all the unsocialable hours I worked( nights,weekends etc to fit around my husbands day working hours)....they always make out that I have hardly worked a day and their Dad has always worked hard.....he left work 2 yrs ago...took redundancy and I am still working but they still overlook that???....kids remember what they want and that will never change....Saying that all our boys have turned out to be amazing husbands and dads and have all workand are in good jobs... And went to uni so we must have done something right????? and they are all pleasant, polite and very kind?

Franbern
My fortysix year old daughter is exactly the same. She complains about how she had all these endless chores to do, none of the rest of us remember them.
Poor girl, I’m surprised she didn’t ring child Line.

My eldest son said to me recently I had held him back in football as I made him join a team that wasn't very good and he could have been so much better. Firstly what a ridiculous thing to focus on but secondly, he chose the team, all his friends played in the team and he is still in touch with some of them now, thirdly something I will not say to his face, he really wasn't very good at football and isn't really at sport in general but he enjoys it and that is part of what sport should be about imo. Also, the team was good for him because it wasn't pushy and the coach/manager was really emotionally supportive of them - something you don't always get with youth football.

Oh well

Too true Gingster.
Men are pretty much the same,well mine is anyway.
Selective memory. and hearing.

"Hahaha, no chance. You were dead set on going to Scruff High School."

(Although maybe finishing school could have come after that. )

Yes they are Kate and for holding us responsible for the mistakes they've made as adults.

About 3 years after he'd estranged us, our ES came to our home full of rage and accused us of not caring what he was going through and how difficult his life was.

We assumed this was partly in relation to the fact that after estranging us he'd had an affair, but as we weren't prepared to have that conversation, we'll never know for sure.

My dil not film. Autocorrect has thwarted me again.

I haven’t had complaints about my sons schooling. My elder son is very bright and I had him sit an entrance exam for a grammar school which he later told me he fudged on purpose to stay on at his local school with his mates ? His wife (my film) went to both a public (they call them private schools) school and finishing school in New Zealand and has a masters degree and is currently a lecturer in a university and doing her PHD part time, so not deb types are dim.

I thought what your daughter said was tongue in cheek OP.

Yes. They are also capable of rewriting history!

They are all like this <sigh>

A friend once described her teenagers as monsters with laundry!

She was joking!

I don't think deb-type girls would know how to cook. I taught my son and daughter all the skills they need to know. As a other Gransnet members have said our DC have short memories. I am always reminded that I wrapped mine in cotton wool!

My DD did business at uni. She hated it. I didn't suggest business. I was supporting her in her choice of Religious Studies but my sister persuaded her to do Business. If you ask her DD will swear that I told her not to do RS but to do Business so it's my fault.

What kittylester said!

My DD had a vegetarian phase when she was 13. She accused me, in a fairly recent conversation, of making her have a ham sandwich in her school packed lunch. I have no memory of that at all but it obviously has stuck in her memory bank.

Sorry, but I'm afraid I would have said something and not mutely taken the blame for her own choice of school. Something like, "Well, we did want to send you to XXXX but you refused, said it would be full of "spoilt rich kids" and insisted on going to YYYY. A finishing school would have been full of even richer kids, learning how to look elegant, arrange the flowers and manage the servants, and look down on the plebs. I don't think you would have agreed to go to one. If I'd known you'd want to make pastry and sew, I could have taught you myself - as I am doing now with this sewing machine. Why not join an upholstery class for adults?"

It's strange isn't it, when we are altogether and reminiscing they invariably recall all the mistakes I made. They have a laugh at the silly things I did, never do they talk about the good things, the care they had when they were ill, the running about for them etc etc. I know that's part of being a parent but obviously not important.

Ho hum. Once, in my thirties I asked my mother ‘Oh why didn’t you make me learn the piano?’

Her reply. ‘Peasblossom, nobody could make you do anything.

No 2 daughter did come to me when selecting her Uni to say she had been offered places to do either English or Law and what would I recommend. I told her that English would be fun, but Law more useful. Of course, she went and chose English

Some twenty years later she did (although she says it was with 'tongue in cheek), ask me why I had not MADE her take a Law degree!!!!!

This rings with me too. I was accused of not teaching them general knowledge once.....