Gransnet forums


Daughter’s astonishing comment!

(133 Posts)
Missfoodlove Sun 28-Feb-21 08:51:10

Our daughter is now in her thirties, has a had good career and is now loving being at home with her two young children.

She was a very difficult,strong willed and opinionated teenager.

She refused to go to the school we wanted her to attend and chose to attend a school that was limiting in its opportunities as it wasn’t was full of “spoilt rich kids”.

Last night I had to talk her through threading up a sewing machine, she said.........did you and Dad never consider sending me to finishing school? I would have loved it, they teach you to sew, upholster and perfect all types of pastry.

I said nothing.

Do other gransnetters have children with short memories?

Calendargirl Sun 28-Feb-21 08:55:22

All of them do.

kittylester Sun 28-Feb-21 08:56:31

Thought they were built like that!!

Gingster Sun 28-Feb-21 09:00:39

They only remember what suits them 😂🤣

Witzend Sun 28-Feb-21 09:05:11

That did make me laugh. Does anyone still actually go to finishing schools? In my head they were generally for deb-type girls - perhaps the female equivalent of Tim Nice But Dim - whose only idea of a career was being married, being able to cook Cordon Bleu for dinner parties and do the flowers beautifully.

Not long ago my dd1 lamented the fact that she’d never learned to knit, and so was unable to help Gdd 5, who wanted to learn. Why hadn’t I taught her?
Er, she had no memory of getting so cross and frustrated that she couldn't master In, Over, Through, Off, in 10 minutes, that she threw needles and wool right across the room!

She never had any patience with anything fiddly. Sewing the regulation school cookery apron was another nightmare - I ended up doing most of it and was very naffed off to get only a C+ - ‘Neatness and accuracy are 2 skills which you must practice (sic)’!

Sara1954 Sun 28-Feb-21 09:07:41

One of our daughters became involved with the most vile man, we absolutely couldn’t stand him, but she was absolutely resolute, she threw up her career for him, and she wouldn’t hear a word against him.
Fast forward, it’s all come to a very unpleasant end, and she says, you must have noticed he was awful, why on earth didn’t you warn me!

EllanVannin Sun 28-Feb-21 09:09:14

Mainly in those who were born in the early to mid 80's. Unusual for such behaviour in those born before.

Franbern Sun 28-Feb-21 09:12:55

My youngest daughter (46 yrs old), has many strange 'memories' of things that happened in her childhood. None remembered by any of her siblings!!!!

silverlining48 Sun 28-Feb-21 09:13:43

This rings with me too. I was accused of not teaching them general knowledge once.....

Franbern Sun 28-Feb-21 09:15:05

No 2 daughter did come to me when selecting her Uni to say she had been offered places to do either English or Law and what would I recommend. I told her that English would be fun, but Law more useful. Of course, she went and chose English

Some twenty years later she did (although she says it was with 'tongue in cheek), ask me why I had not MADE her take a Law degree!!!!!

Peasblossom Sun 28-Feb-21 09:17:01

Ho hum. Once, in my thirties I asked my mother ‘Oh why didn’t you make me learn the piano?’

Her reply. ‘Peasblossom, nobody could make you do anything.

sodapop Sun 28-Feb-21 09:22:51

It's strange isn't it, when we are altogether and reminiscing they invariably recall all the mistakes I made. They have a laugh at the silly things I did, never do they talk about the good things, the care they had when they were ill, the running about for them etc etc. I know that's part of being a parent but obviously not important.

Elegran Sun 28-Feb-21 09:24:11

Sorry, but I'm afraid I would have said something and not mutely taken the blame for her own choice of school. Something like, "Well, we did want to send you to XXXX but you refused, said it would be full of "spoilt rich kids" and insisted on going to YYYY. A finishing school would have been full of even richer kids, learning how to look elegant, arrange the flowers and manage the servants, and look down on the plebs. I don't think you would have agreed to go to one. If I'd known you'd want to make pastry and sew, I could have taught you myself - as I am doing now with this sewing machine. Why not join an upholstery class for adults?"

Gagagran Sun 28-Feb-21 09:28:52

My DD had a vegetarian phase when she was 13. She accused me, in a fairly recent conversation, of making her have a ham sandwich in her school packed lunch. I have no memory of that at all but it obviously has stuck in her memory bank.

grannyqueenie Sun 28-Feb-21 09:29:29

What kittylester said!

vampirequeen Sun 28-Feb-21 09:32:15

My DD did business at uni. She hated it. I didn't suggest business. I was supporting her in her choice of Religious Studies but my sister persuaded her to do Business. If you ask her DD will swear that I told her not to do RS but to do Business so it's my fault.

Redhead56 Sun 28-Feb-21 09:32:31

I don't think deb-type girls would know how to cook. I taught my son and daughter all the skills they need to know. As a other Gransnet members have said our DC have short memories. I am always reminded that I wrapped mine in cotton wool!

Alexa Sun 28-Feb-21 09:49:48

She was joking!

Oldwoman70 Sun 28-Feb-21 09:50:44

A friend once described her teenagers as monsters with laundry!

JaneJudge Sun 28-Feb-21 09:51:57

They are all like this <sigh>

Kate1949 Sun 28-Feb-21 09:55:01

Yes. They are also capable of rewriting history!

rafichagran Sun 28-Feb-21 09:58:20

I thought what your daughter said was tongue in cheek OP.

DillytheGardener Sun 28-Feb-21 09:59:48

I haven’t had complaints about my sons schooling. My elder son is very bright and I had him sit an entrance exam for a grammar school which he later told me he fudged on purpose to stay on at his local school with his mates 🙄 His wife (my film) went to both a public (they call them private schools) school and finishing school in New Zealand and has a masters degree and is currently a lecturer in a university and doing her PHD part time, so not deb types are dim.

DillytheGardener Sun 28-Feb-21 10:00:38

My dil not film. Autocorrect has thwarted me again.

Smileless2012 Sun 28-Feb-21 10:01:42

Yes they are Kate and for holding us responsible for the mistakes they've made as adults.

About 3 years after he'd estranged us, our ES came to our home full of rage and accused us of not caring what he was going through and how difficult his life was.

We assumed this was partly in relation to the fact that after estranging us he'd had an affair, but as we weren't prepared to have that conversation, we'll never know for sure.