Following the other thread: how often do you call your children?

We have various WhatsApp groups, a general family one with everyone , including my siblings etc on it which tends to have photos of the children, pets, tv recommends, pictures of what anyone’s cooking or their garden etc, usually a few messages a day on that, plus individual ones or smaller group ones . Big zoom meet ups used to be weekly but now about once a month, individual chat on phone with children about once a week, we tend to take it in turns to call, it’s usually me though who does the calling unless they’ve got a favour to ask or a bit of news they don’t want to spread around.

It is a very sad situation, back in the day I use to phone to speak to my mother but nowadays I feel I am intruding on DDs’ time and text instead. Texting takes me so long and sometimes misunderstandings can happen very quickly.

I send lots of texts to my daughter but leave it to her to ring. I get a ?? or a back from her. Her days are so full of work and granddaughter. When she does ring, it's a long long call and sometimes a facetime one.

I text my son and about 1 in 3 times he replies. Again, his work is full on and when he finishes, it's a meal then bed. Weekends are with his daughter, who is with mum (separated).

One daughter more or less every day, one once a week, one once a fortnight and the other one now and again, she is super busy at work and not a ‘talker’. They all live within 200 km, 3 of them within 40 km, which isn’t far for us.

I call my children when I have something to say or something to ask them. They call me occasionally for a chat.

I speak to each of my sisters every week. We always have a long chat.

I speak to my daughter and daughter in law everyday, sometimes I initiate call or sometimes they do but it always happens.
I speak to my 3 brothers once a week, spreading calls out over the week. Extended family etc [I have lots of cousins] is more sporadic birthdays or if one of them has news etc.

Varies according to the son. General stuff is shared on a WhatsApp group. If I want or need to speak with one it depends who it is. If I know one is likely to be home I just phone as he lives alone, the other I message first and ask when is a good time. Do the same to chat to our daughter in law. Usually get an ‘are you ok?’ response followed by a selection of times. Life is busy for them all, we’re far more available than they are so it seems reasonable to time calls to suit them.

Very rarely for my eldest daughter, she is always working or at the scout group or with friends (obviously before covid). I probably talk more to her wife!

My son, occasionally, if I want to talk to our grandson and my son hasn't called us.

Youngest daughter, I try quite often, I know her routine so I don't worry that I'm interrupting her, but her phone is always on silent, very annoying. I have to wait for her to realise she missed my call, and call me back.

By mutual agreement, they call me. I'm pretty much always available whereas they lead full hectic lives. If there was ever a 'worrying' gap, I would send a text as it's less immediately demanding.

I've just realised that I never call them. Rarely, I'll send a text - but they always call or Zoom before I'd think to contact them.

I never phone!

If I haven't heard from them for a while I'll WhatsApp them.

5 DD's here. I do what is known as "the Mummy calls" once a week normally on a Wednesday evening. If they 're busy or don't fancy a chat they don't pick up. That's the arrangement.
Suits us all fine but in any event by the time I've finished ringing round I've used up the entire evening. They all call me randomly during the week or if they need emotional support from me or practical support from their Dad.

I usually text to see if it is a good time to call, as the younger generation don't seem to like actual calls, and I agree with them that they can be intrusive at times.

My daughter and I WhatsApp most days, and if it gets into a back and forth conversation I prefer to speak. Sometimes I just want to hear her voice, and she's happy to oblige - particularly now, when we haven't seen one another for ages.

My son is less communicative (by a long way!), but we both know that if the other calls and we are busy, we can just say so, and call back later, with no offence taken.

My mum rarely calls me, or her grandchildren, as she says she is worried in case we are busy. We have all said a hundred times that if she calls at a time when the young ones are busy they wouldn't pick up, but would call her back (I would always answer her, in the unlikely event that she called!), but she doesn't listen. She expects everyone to call her every time, and gets upset if we don't do it for a while.

I think one of the problems is that all of us keep different hours, so our 'downtime' happens at different times of the day. Mum is an early bird who goes to bed just as I am sitting down to relax for the night, I get up after she's been up for hours and stay up late, and the young ones are busy working and looking after children.

I try to stop DH calling them at weekends, at least the 2 with wife/partner, as I believe we're all entitled to our private time.
Usually if we don't hear from them for a few days, we call or send a message.

Mine tend to call us, I tend not to call them in the week, unless it's with something specific as they're usually working and busier than me. I do sometimes call at the week end but I also agree WhatsApp is less intrusive.

Bluesky yes I’m not sure when role reversal started, but the pandemic seems to have accelerated the process.
Agree with others that WhatsApp, text messages or messenger a lot less intrusive.

I tend to text rather that call as they both work and I don't want to interrupt them. They both tend to call me every day pretty much so anything I need them for I'll bring up when they ring. Also because they both work locally and are both out and about they frequently pop in to see me and raid the fridge.

I ring my children about every 10 days. Sometimes they ring me and we do keep in contact via Whatsapp.

Like others, I text/ message in some form, rather than call. We have some sort of contact several times a week with all four of them.

Whenever I need to or they need me. We are in touch daily with Whatsapp.

I leave it to them, because it’s hard for me to judge when it would be convenient for them, but I am almost always available.

If I feel they have left it too long, I would text rather than ring.

jane we didnt get phone calls checking but messaging 'reminding' us - especially from DS2!

This is where social media is a help because we can nudge them without being intrusive.

I wait to be phoned unless it’s birthdays or anniversaries or congratulations for any reason. I had a mother (bless her) who would think nothing of phoning up to six or seven times a day, even whilst at work. It was painful and I admit to sometimes silencing and ignoring her calls. I don’t want to be remembered like my mum!

I text rather than call but sparingly as I would hate to be thought needy. We are in touch most days though.

DS and family are in the US. We e-mail - lots 'n lots, most days in fact, as we're all political and there's loads going on. And the Grand now has a hamster. She seems to think he's photogenic, I'm not so sure