Who will he take after?

Unfortunately although you know it doesn’t matter, don’t many people do think it matters and if you think that doesn’t happen you are wrong deedaa

My GS is mixed-race and of course we had discussions about what he would look like and who he would take after. There were discussions about whether his name would be traditional English or Afghan and whether that would affect his future. As a small child we discussed with him the different skin tones of people in his class and yesterday we discussed how he needs to shave off a growing moustache before going back to school and he is just 13, but that is also from his Afghan heritage. It is not racist, it is practical and he is beautiful and always has been and will be a heartbreaker when he gets a bit older.

One of my GSs is noticeably darker than the other two because his mother is eastern european and he has inherited lovely golden skin and dark brown eyes. I suppose he looks different from his very blonde cousin but really, who cares?

or*

Are people's racist ideas and prejudiced views going to change if we don't talk about it? If so, how?

If a conversation about skin colour is along the lines of "this child, who we all love, is going to be treated differently by some people because those people are racist and prejudiced, how can we support you and the child with this? What can we do that will help?" Is that racist? Or inappropriate? because ignoring it isn't going to improve of change anyone's experience.

If it was said then when? M claims this was said while she was pregnant with Archie and H claims it was said before they were married.

“ When we say ‘Black Lives Matter’ and white people say ‘all lives matter’ it shows a deep lack of understanding. The point is black lives don’t matter less.”

I really wish more people understood this.
Good post Laura,

Well you weren’t there and you have no idea who said what or what was implied or what anyone meant and you cannot and shouldn’t guess geekesse
You also have no idea of what affects one person or another
You could tell one person they are fat they could roar with laughter and say I know I ve always been a big bouncy girl you could tell the next person the same and they could be really angry really annoyed and ready to punch you You could tell a third person the same and they could hide in the bedroom and never want to come out because of shame
This gossip and guess work is pointless and says more about yourself than anyone else
I don’t agree 3granny6 yes it’s important to discuss if the children ask, it is NOT necessary to talk about to an expectant mother and before you jump on me I too have mixed race children

I have biracial children (Indian- caucasian European) and I am fuming.

Yes, it is very racist. Unacceptable

My husband's family wished my kids would look like me. I made it stop on its tracks

Someone recently said my DGS looked like me! With his very varied heritage and mix of his mum and dad (that I CAN see) I have no idea how the poor boy ended up resembling me (not that he does, I think it was meant as flattery).

Laura, skin colour doesn't, or shouldn't, matter at all in a family. Love there should be unconditional. Of course, once outside the front door, it is completely different. I have recently been teaching William Blake's poem, The Little Black Boy. Once thought of as an abolitionist poem, it is now VERY sad how accepting even a forward thinking man, such as Blake was (OR how he had to pander to his audience). But that is the desperately sad conversation parents/families have to have, and keep having, for children who are not white.

Correction not sure where that last bit is at least 3 shades darker has appeared again at the end it is already in my post.

Hi Gagajo you are right Archie is gorgeous. It is a shame that we never get to see photographs of him the only ones being when he was about 9 months old or something like that.
My second child was so fair skinned as we say when we have a mixed race child in fact she was as fair skinned as Archie. My daughter did not take on any form of colour until she reached about 2 years old the small amount of hair was fairish blonde in fact one of my best friends joked to me that I had an affair as she was so pale in looks.
So by the time she was two with hair growing which was soft and spiralling into curls and her skin just a tiny bit golden you could see just a hint of perhaps soft dusky beauty.
To have some discussion is necessary I think as GD1 is just like me and looks British and resembles me in many ways. GD2 is at least three shades darker (same fathers) and once they started school children would ask why is your sister brown, just a fact of life but these things should be spoken about.
is at least 3 shades darker

I don’t think we can say ‘wtf difference does skin colour make’.
Of course we love our mixed race grandchildren, not because of their skin colour nor in spite of it. We love them because they are our flesh and blood and because they are lovable.
We can’t say we don’t see the colour of their skin, of course we do, I see the beautiful rich brown skin, lustrous brown hair and almond shaped deep brown eyes of one granddaughter and the pale, rosy cheeked skin, long curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes of another.
I also see the easy passage my fair skinned granddaughter gets compared to her darker skinned cousin simply based on skin colour.
Until we stop saying ‘skin colour doesn’t matter’ and ‘we don’t see colour’. we can’t have the open conversations that will give us a better understanding.
When we say ‘Black Lives Matter’ and white people say ‘all lives matter’ it shows a deep lack of understanding. The point is black lives don’t matter less.
We do need to discuss skin colour, it’s important to many, to some in the wrong way.
I sincerely hope that whatever was discussed in the royal family was along the lines of either greater understanding of prejudice that the baby might encounter or to prepare H,M and their child for the gutter press
and nasty social media trolling that they may encounter.
We can’t claim the royal family acted in a racist manner when we don’t know the context.
If it was found to be a racist remark then that person needs to be named and dealt with appropriately.
It is cruel to throw in this ‘grenade’ and let them all be blown up.

Nope 3nanny6, I think Archie is gorgeous. And he looks like he might have red hair. From someone who has spent her whole life dying her hair red, I think that could be lovely. Especially given that Harry was seen as such a hunk, pre marriage.

I can say, in complete honesty, that my daughter and I NEVER discussed my GS's possible skin tone. We wanted a girl and there WAS discussion about that, but once our little prince was born, we completely forgot wanting a girl in the delight of the perfect little boy.

I speculated what my much wanted first daughter would be like and she certainly did not disappoint me. My parents and then a long stream of friends coming to the hospital to see the new arrival seemed to have no thoughts about her status she was just a new baby and they all wanted a look in.

We speculated about all kinds of family traits they might have.

And one of the most treasured moments is that few seconds immediately after they are born when you see what you have made. And suddenly there is my great aunt Eva, to the life, staring up at me!

Oprah has apparently made clear that the racist comment was not made by Harry’s grandparents so Prince Philip is owed an apology by all those who jumped the gun......I’ll wait!

I agree with original poster that a neutral conversation can be had in the family if a family member has married into a different culture and the outcome is going to be a mixed race child. In the context of the Sussexes it is quite a bombshell to put that type of conversation out into the public arena where it will be seen globally and attract damage.

Gagajo your post of 11 0.clock saying Lets hope Harrys
next child is visibly mixed race. I would just ask you to clarify that. Are you saying that Archie is too light skin toned in colour and you hope the new baby girl will have a darker skin tone.
I do not quite appreciate how you have worded that especially as you are the mother of a mixed race daughter
and I also am the mother of mixed race children. So as mothers we will be more than aware that our children can be born from being light skin toned colour and range to several shades darker for another child.
Also being the mother of mixed race children and then having GC I often had conversations with my daughter about skin tone colour and in fact I do not see that it makes any difference to do that.

geekesse, even though obviously, I knew my baby and grandchild were going to be mixed race, it NEVER occured to me to wonder about skin colour.

GagaJo, you said “WTF difference does it make what skin colour a baby has? They are all beautiful and a wonderful addition to a family.”

I agree absolutely. Skin colour, or eye colour, or whether a baby has red hair or big feet doesn’t make a difference to how wonderful a baby is, but they are all things that people may speculate lovingly about. Are you suggesting that family members should never even mention such things?

In the event, he, that is, Archie, facially 'takes after' his maternal grandfather - Thomas Markle.

Wel, I kind of hoped number three might have red hair Gagajo. Just to give my family a bit of a look in?

Surely all this was implicit in most peoples delight at their engagement - that by marrying someone who was from a mixed heritage and possibly having a child whose looks made that clear, the Royal Family would be a symbol of the mixed culture of so many in this country.

The accusations of racism only seemed to appear after the decision to standback from the Royal Family

That would be marvellous!

Frankly, lets hope Harry's next child IS visibly mixed race. It would do the institution of the RF a world of good to have some less inbred blood in it (I read an article yesterday about the health conditions prevalent in the RF due to the closeness of some of their bloodlines).

It would also shake up any residual racism.